line santo’s Reviews > I'm a Fan > Status Update

“Capitalism stokes the illusion the planet’s resources are never-ending or else that things only have value when they are producing and if they are not, then replace them. Plants, business, creativity, sexuality, nature, women, fear, envy, to sustain a false premise of growth or profit. Men are perceived as steady, reliable capitalistic servants, they are almost machines, able to reproduce at any age & day”
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“I am used to hiding parts of myself from my parents, and then hiding parts from my friends, and hiding parts from boys I liked, and hiding parts from the society I belonged to which didn’t like the brown bits of me, and then hiding parts from my family who didn’t like the parts of me that loved techno and staying out and sex and cocks and cunts and booze and freedom. I am used to living inside of shame”

“I want it so no one else can have it. In the not having, it remains absolutely perfect, in my imagination it would fulfil all my needs, I would never need anyone again. I want it so that in the luxury of having it, I can ruin its perfection and then reject it when I am sure it means nothing. I want to succeed where all the other women failed, and it is not so much to win him as it is to defeat everyone else.”
FA

“ I want to be eagerly awaited. I want to be superficially humble about my incredible success, I want to wear it carelessly,”

The chapter gimme, unfortunately made me feel so seen

“Aren’t these wealthy aesthetes on Instagram merely another iteration of a class elite deciding what is good and what is not good, shaping our reality the way they always have just better disguised by technology which has the optics of transparency and democracy?”

“ We were drawn magnetically to the altar, the evaporation of self meant you could escape the confines of the flesh and fill the room.”

“The refusal to fill the space with objects but to move and reshape, invites chance and the unknown through negative space—because is this not faith, believing in what you cannot see? Is this not what invites God?”

“Though we insist we are Socialist and Marxist in our ideals, is social media and our pursuit for fame within this structure not the purest expression of individualistic, Thatcherite neocolonial politics where we transform into scripted individual brands, launching ourselves like start-up companies while masquerading as being ‘in service’ to our ‘communities’ by ‘taking up space”

“We are saddened by the knowledge that nothing really collectively changes but reassured by the thought that it did for me on an individual level, as we backstroke across the vast placid sea of righteous superiority.”

“do we commit further harm by performing our Otherness—by Othering ourselves for.. approval, to gain a following, build a fanbase? What are the effects of this alienation, do we even care?”

“He renders me dead or alive with the flare of his attention. He is like this with all of us. He is a void and there is no way to fill it.”

“We are all of us engaged in a collective self-harm by trying to love him, seeking to be loved by him.”

“There is a whole other storyline unfolding with two main characters and I am merely the short subplot to aid the trajectory of their love story. I am not a main character in this ensemble romcom of betrayal, I am a supporting act. He is in no danger of falling in love with me. I am usurpable in my own life……—I am no one. I’m a fan and because of this, I can be cut out.”

She is so fucking good with words