Emma Watson’s Reviews > Watch Me > Status Update

"I've been fooling people all my life. You're the only one paying attention."

"God I'm too old for this. Brendan told me to my face I was too old for this"
"He did not say that"
"He implied it"
"He wanted to see the world! He didn't want to settle down, he wanted to do young people shit, find his inner star, swim in the radiation infested waters of life"
"I'm going to die alone"
"C'mon man. Grandpa Winston has at least five good years left in him before the arthritis takes him out"
"Fuck you."

"After so many years being dead inside, James makes me feel alive."

"There's an overabundance of Jeff's in my life."

"She's exhibited enough vulnerability-enough instability-in her interactions with you to prove she's human, and that makes her weak."
"Write that down," Kenji says. "Remember this moment.
Hell, make it the title of your memoir: Being Human Makes You Weak, by Aaron Warner Anderson."

Kenji yelps. Popcorn forgotten, he turns to look at her with wide eyes. "Did you just, like, zap me with your killing power?"
She laughs. "Only a little bit."
"Only a little bit?" His eyes go wider. "J, you can literally murder people with only a little bit"
"She can murder whoever she wants," Warner says flatly.
"You two are disgusting. This whole situation is disgusting. I hate everyone in this room"

"The hell he can," Kenji mutters. "He talks through all the good parts. And anyway, he needs to go, like, shave and shit. Shower a couple of times. Run around the block and release those pheromones. Get ready for romance."
Warner raises an eyebrow at him. "If that's what you do to get ready for romance, I can see why you're single."

"Warner loves me, too," around a bite of popcorn. Sometimes it's a little too much, you know? It's always Oh my God, Kenji, you're amazing, you're my best friend, don't tell Juliette but I love you the most-"
"How is it that every time you speak," Warner cuts him
off, "you have food in your mouth?"
"Don't exaggerate because you're jealous," says Kenji.
"If you want popcorn, all you have to do is ask."

"Living with you while you were going through puberty, for example, was unique kind of hell. Sometimes I think you're still going rough puberty."
I scowl.
"I don't like hearing you say the word puberty. In fact, I don't think I need to hear you say that word ever again."

"What makes you think I have any leverage over her?"
"Because she's been saying your name in her dreams." A shock of pleasure moves through me.
"What? Really?"
"No."
"Wow, okay, fuck you."
Warner actually smiles.