D.M. Dutcher ’s Reviews > Varney the Vampire; or, The Feast of Blood > Status Update

Apparently the proper way to fight vampyres is to challenge them to duels. When a mob comes up to kill the vampire in the middle of the duel, our heroes hinder the mob because darned if they let him meet his end at an angry mob's hands.

Also, Varney insulting Admiral Bell every time he sees him is pure win. But god, this is one slog of a read. 70ish chapters!

"Nay Henry," whispered Mr. Marchdale, "It is scarcely civil to tell Sir Francis to his face that he resembles a vampyre."

NO U TELL HIM NAO.

And he does! With the vampire saying "well, unfortunate for me isn't it?" and leaving it hanging in the air.

What's fun about this book is how all the expected responses to vampires simply aren't there. In the right mood it can make for hilarious comedy.

You see a vampire draining a local girl dry. He is like 12 feet tall and escapes through the window. What do you do? SHOOT THE HELL OUT OF IT! :D

I mean seriously, these main characters take no crap from people. Their first thought after seeing Varney is get more guns and swords. They will chase his undead ass and shoot him from the window if they get a clear shot. Fun times.