Lara’s Reviews > Seductive Secrets > Status Update

Right now, the story is intriguing, but there are a lot of editorial mistakes that are distracting ("use" instead of "used," that sort of thing). The writing is clunky, for lack of a better term - clauses rearranged in (I assume) an attempt to sound more formal and historical(?) but which really just make it sound awkward. We'll see if the story improves to over-write these faults.