Hawra habib’s Reviews > Parenting a Defiant Child: A Sanity-saving Guide to Finally Stopping the Bad Behavior > Status Update

If long car rides inflame problems, plan the ride, who sits next to whom and what activities will happen with their timings. Apply this principle to each event in which you struggle with your child.

Failing to plan is planning to fail: examine the situations that your child is most problematic in and plan ahead your reaction. For example in grocery store give him a list of items he should find to put in the cart. Decide beforehand on one item he would like to buy for himself and this treat should be at the end of the journey and he hands it directly to the cashier to be scanned

Redirection methods when bad behavior happens:
1. Offering alternative way of doing the task.
2. Asking a question about the right way to do the task
3. Offering two acceptable choices that he can choose from.

*let the child experience natural consequences : feeling cold if no coat

Relationship skills that should be taught to defiant children :
1. Allowing parent to label behavior and accepting it.
2. Appreciate adult praise.
3. Allowing adult to participate in task.
4. Taking Turns in activity
5. Understanding that a competitive game is about friendship not winning or losing

The relationship with the child is like a bank ,reprimanding is withdrawing and praising is depositing. To have a good relationship parents should praise more than reprimand or else the account will be emptied and noncompliance and defiance accelerate.

Value and praise your child every single day to fix his behavioral problems, even for the tiniest things

1. Define stressors that could be managed and stressors that cant and refer in mind to those family members or relatives who can support you in times of crisis.
2. Find solutions to the managable stressors.
3. Tidy the house so everything has a home.
4. Create a routine for the child.

1. Stop blaming yourself for your child's problems

*Defiant children need empathy not punishment.
*there is no quick fixes, it takes work and patience dealing with defiant children