Joseph > Status Update

it’s rather boring even though the writing quality is decent, but the story is not there…1 star because the writing was at least readable with potential for higher rating if the story is edited to draw interest and have sense.

this story seems like a draft in development that needs work, but has potential…3 stars for the writing quality with potential for higher rating with editing on the style and development.

Page 6 “Wait! Bethany!” (double exclamations unnecessary)…stopping here… the writing is sort of a headache to read, the intensity of the scene is appreciated, but there’s no context or setting established to understand what is happening, and reading the story carried me along but in a lost way…it was a little creepy about what was not supposed to be looked at on Bethany…

Reached first short story "Don't Look"...Page 4 “Ignore it…you’ll be okay” (comma instead of ellipsis)…Page 5 “whispered, standing still a few…” (delete still)…”Her gaze was distant, as if…” (delete comma)…”stared into a memory.” (no context, strange description)… “…as if were afraid to say…” (as if afraid to say)… “Please…tell me what’s going on!” (delete ellipsis)… “I-I’ve said too much.” (delete I-)…