Tracey’s Reviews > Nick the Lolt > Status Update

Brace yourselves.

"...his eyes narrowed and a small wave of veins sprouted through his muscles."

Uncle.

"His brow was cringed"

Me too.

"… stood like a wooden statute …"

55% "her open and flowing hair"

*skimskimskim*

"Soon Nick saw loads of people"

*SIGH*

Oh, now there's dialogue tag abuse: "'Out of the question,' Nick swallowed." Ouch. Also? He's talking to himself. Does that a lot.

"A loud clacking sound made Nick jump so bad" - BADLY.

"'This, was definitely,' he panted."

I have, a headache. Gah.

"Visibility instantly fell shorter"

"solider" for "soldier"

"Whatever Gayle, I'm going"

*sigh*

"I think pity jurors can't wager"

Of a cat in a drawing: "In mid-step its powerful, arched back was to the viewer" – and shortly the cat's eyes are described.

And then it goes on to describe how the artist draws light with his pencil. Um. Not the way you're describing, no.

"She remained blind and anxious by all the sounds"