Rachel (BAVR)’s Reviews > Room to Breathe > Status Update

Just so we don't forget Pimp!Jesus' origin story:

...Eric says in his commanding Lord voice.

He also uses that voice when he give Communion to his disciples.

He kisses me and know that no matter what we will face tomorrow, next week, or even next year we will fact it together.

O__O

I love kissing him. I could spend an entire day attached to his mouth.

o_O

That's an interesting way of phrasing it. What if you had to spend an entire day with his mouth attached to your elbow? Still sexy?

"I love you too Cora," he says as he pulls me into a deep kiss. His tongue is dancing madly with mine.

Oh, not the dancing tongues again.

"I always knew Lucinda's karma would come back to her, but I never thought at the cost of her life. I feel awful for her and her family but I can't stop being grateful that she stopped you from going."

At the cost of her LIFE?

Charming, Pimp!Jesus. I hope you catch your balls on fire and FALL OFF A CLIFF. D:

"Well she took my phone from my handbag and sent Harrison a message telling him that I had changed my mind and that I was sending her in my place. [...] So, it was Lucinda that went to Japan and Lucinda who was in the village that was destroyed."

*EXPLODES*

THEY KILLED LUCINDA! D:

WTF is this book? I don't even ... LUCINDA! Be at peace, sweet angel. :(

Pimp!Jesus flounces to his friend's London home in order to plan a rescue mission, and then my day is ruined. :(

For the first time since learning about the tsunami, he is able to breathe. There, sitting on the edge of a high backed chair with tear-streaked cheeks, is Cora Allen.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

*throws furniture*

NEGATIVE 100 BILLION STARS!

He then scans through his old messages from Jane until he finds the one about Cora leaving. He looks up the name of the village she would have been in. Horrified, he sees that Kamoshi is right in the middle of the worst of the destruction.

You guys. I can't even. If Cora Sue was washed out to sea, I'll give this fucker FIVE STARS! *crosses fingers*

So, Cora Sue flails away to Japan, and then - I'm not fucking kidding - IT LITERALLY STARTS TO CRUMBLE:

"Well, yes. There was a large earthquake off the coast. It created a huge tsunami. Large portions of the country were washed away," Dean explains.

"What do you mean 'washed away'?"

"They are just gone."

*dies laughing, comes back to life, and dies again*

CORA SUE KILLED JAPAN! D:

Behold Cora Sue's insane love logic:

"Yes, I do love him but no matter what anyone wants to tell me, I don't believe that he really loves me. You don't let someone you love walk away."

o_O

Isn't there some old proverb that says if you love something, let it go? Plus, CORA SUE, if you loved him that much, why did YOU walk away from HIM? Your stupid logic is a 2-way street.

LOGIC NINJA KICK!