Verdelite’s Reviews > Phoenix Rise > Status Update
Verdelite
is 28% done
This story feels kinda surreal. Maybe it's cause there's so much telling as if everything the mc assumes is fact. The sentences feel strung together haphazardly. I don't get a feel for the mc's emotions or cause & effect. Like, the mc only notices some time after breakfast that he's not wearing pants or he gets kidnapped but it's just a prank bro. It reads like a dream. doesn't help that the plot feels nonsensical.
— Aug 02, 2020 01:22PM
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Verdelite’s Previous Updates
Verdelite
is 34% done
wtf is going on
so they go to the gym and then a random dude tells the mc he should suck him off and then they all go to the showers and suck-me-off dude and ex-kidnapper-a start making out and ex-kidnapper-b starts crying. like. wtf.
This is either unedited stream of consciousness writing or the author lucid dreaming.
— Aug 02, 2020 01:34PM
so they go to the gym and then a random dude tells the mc he should suck him off and then they all go to the showers and suck-me-off dude and ex-kidnapper-a start making out and ex-kidnapper-b starts crying. like. wtf.
This is either unedited stream of consciousness writing or the author lucid dreaming.
