Kazza’s Reviews > My Life as a Myth > Status Update

Right now Bobby's sleeping next to me. He's beautiful when he sleeps. I can't believe how much I love him. It's not just the physical stimulation I get from him. It makes me just as happy to do things for him as when he does things to me. It's even enough just to be with him, like now, and to know that he loves me as much as I love him.

I felt him up and loosened his shirt and trousers. He stiffened as I ran my fingers through his hair. He moaned softly and at that moment, I don't think I could have stopped myself it I tried.

Then something in me snapped, and all my frustrations transformed into desire. When we got to my room, I closed and locked the door behind me. I put my hand on Bobby's shoulder, turned him around, took him in my arms, and kissed him. His eyes told me it was unexpected but welcome, and we fell onto the bed.

Damn, my life is turning into a series of fucking song lyrics! And I'm living with Nowhere Man!

I wish Dad could let it out too. But he drowns his grief in booze. So he cries but gets no release from it. It reminds me of Gibran talking about not weeping all of your tears. Dad just doesn't see it. He's as blind as can be, and he makes it worse for himself by drinking. I'm really worried about him, but at the same time when I'm with him it's like he drags me down into a hole that he's in.

He and I snuck off to get high before supper. This time he provided the weed....He called the marijuana Acapulco Gold, whatever it is, it's damn potent. When we got home both and wandered into the kitchen, both smiling from ear to ear and giggling, my mother cracked us up saying how nice to see her "two little boys" having so much fun together.

There are some things you just know you'll remember all your life and I knew right then that even when I'm a hundred, remembering him sleeping like that will bring out the same feelings in me.

I dried my hair with the damp towel. Bobby had rolled over and snored quietly, now clutching a pillow. I finished dressing and watched him sleep for a minute, taking in how perfect he was from head to toe. My God, he's beautiful, I thought, and I felt myself stiffen. It took me a couple of minutes to tear myself away from just admiring him.