Julia > Status Update

I understand..I have to do "research" before starting a romance book bcoz of the OW drama SMH
Maybe try "A Heart of Blood & ashes" by Milla vane??!!
I read it & it was amazing

Cheating is generally a hard limit for me, too. I can sometimes forgive it in second chance romances when a lot of time has passed and there has been significant growth by the cheater, but honestly, I usually can't tolerate it.

Mrinmayi wrote: "I understand..I have to do "research" before starting a romance book bcoz of the OW drama SMH
Maybe try "A Heart of Blood & ashes" by Milla vane??!!
I read it & it was amazing"

Thats been sitting on my TBR list for awhile. Ill give it a try over the weekend!

Rebecca wrote: "Cheating is generally a hard limit for me, too. I can sometimes forgive it in second chance romances when a lot of time has passed and there has been significant growth by the cheater, but honestly..."

Same! I just know if it was me, I wouldn't forgive it. I've been cheated on before, and let me tell you, doesnt matter how hot that person is. It still kills the relationship. :/ My main question is, why is it sooooo popular in the genre?!

Julia wrote: "Rebecca wrote: "Cheating is generally a hard limit for me, too. I can sometimes forgive it in second chance romances when a lot of time has passed and there has been significant growth by the cheat..."

I think its a lot of things to me

-authors think putting their heroine in the morally superior position is what readers want, when we really just care about the grovel, they get caught up in the crime

-a lot of authors dont know how to write heros and heroines in any other way than these traditional gender stereotyped roles

-internalized misogyny

-indie romance market allows literally anyone to throw a book on Amazon which means a lot of amateur authors who dont really know how to construct stories outside of cliche tropes and scenarios

-Sometimes these books are just money grabs bc the audience is there, and its easy to gather a group of ARC reviewers to five star anything

-and lastly a majority audience that refuses to allow any evolvement from the sexism, misogyny and double standards of romance past. Heroines must be virginal/celibate and Heroes can do whatever they want

Sorry to butt in, I have thought a lot about this! 😂

Elizabeth wrote: "Julia wrote: "Rebecca wrote: "Cheating is generally a hard limit for me, too. I can sometimes forgive it in second chance romances when a lot of time has passed and there has been significant growt..."

No apologies necessary! I love talking about this stuff I feel like I could have my own TED talk lol. Agree with everything you said, especially about the indie authors. Get a half decent photo of a guy with a six pack and it comes off as professional lo.

I'm just so tired of the sexism!! Theres enough of it in the real world (especially in the US right now) that I dont want it to transfer into my reading time!! Thanks for ranting with me :)

Julia wrote: "Elizabeth wrote: "Julia wrote: "Rebecca wrote: "Cheating is generally a hard limit for me, too. I can sometimes forgive it in second chance romances when a lot of time has passed and there has been..."

Im tired too! It baffles me everyday that in a genre that is majority female readers we still get the short end of the stick, we cant even win or be treated equal in fiction. 😫🙄

Can you share these books please? So I can read them 😆

Julie wrote "I've been cheated on before, and let me tell you, doesn't matter how hot that person is."

Julia - I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. I can only imagine how hard it was for you to be in that position.

I hate cheating, including in romance books, even though I am lucky and it has never happened to me. However I grew up surrounded by it though. Most of the couples that my parents had for acquittances and friends the men cheated on the women. Some of the women stay in the relationships and others were left by the cheating spouse for a younger model. Staying married or being divorced either way the women seemed miserable from what my parents said and what I saw. They felt powerless and their self esteem was damaged. It made me mistrust men.

Thankfully my dad and my husband of 30 years are good and faithful husbands but it really impacted me. Therefore except in some rare circumstances I will not read books that contain cheating heroes.

Also though it is not cheating I have little tolerance for the heroes having sex with OW after meeting the heroine or during a seperation either. The only way it is ok for me is the heroines are also sleeping with OP after meeting the hero or during a seperation. I cannot stand when heroines are in deep freeze during separations and the heroes hoe it up or at least gain sexual satisfaction. That kills me and again while there are exceptions I will not read books like that either.

I also hate being blindsided by cheating. I don't know that a book contains a cheating hero as none of the reviews usually all glowing mention it and then I read it. It disgusts and angers me.