Elise’s Reviews > Can You Keep a Secret? > Status Update

“Oh my god, Jemima was right. I’ve gotten involved with a mobster.
OK. Don’t panic. I can escape. I can go into the witness protection scheme. My new name can be Megan.
No, Chloe. Chloe de Souza.”

“And... was I any good?”
“What?” I gape at her.
“In the dream.” She looks straight at me, her cheeks bright pink. “Was I any good?”

“I look up in dismay. They can’t ace the Panther Bar! What will Grandpa take to his bowling tournaments?”

“But when I showed Paul my initial ideas, he was more interested in whether I’d ordered a fruit basket for his stupid mother’s birthday.
Actually, his mother isn’t stupid. I think she has a PhD.”

“Sometimes I think I believe in God, because how else did we all get here? But then I think, yes, but what about war...” why is this still the funniest book ever written

“Just wait till I get promoted. Just wait. Just wait.
A sudden image of the cranberry drink spraying over Doug Hamilton pops into my head, and I feel a twinge of unease. Not one of my best moments.”

“”We could start calling each other ‘darling,’” he says in an embarrassed rush.”