Elise’s Reviews > Can You Keep a Secret? > Status Update

“Oh my god, Jemima was right. I’ve gotten involved with a mobster.
OK. Don’t panic. I can escape. I can go into the witness protection scheme. My new name can be Megan.
No, Chloe. Chloe de Souza.”

“I look up in dismay. They can’t ace the Panther Bar! What will Grandpa take to his bowling tournaments?”

“What shall I say to Paul about the meeting at Glen Oil?
Well, obviously I’ll be completely frank and honest. Without actually telling him the truth -“

“But when I showed Paul my initial ideas, he was more interested in whether I’d ordered a fruit basket for his stupid mother’s birthday.
Actually, his mother isn’t stupid. I think she has a PhD.”

“Sometimes I think I believe in God, because how else did we all get here? But then I think, yes, but what about war...” why is this still the funniest book ever written

“Just wait till I get promoted. Just wait. Just wait.
A sudden image of the cranberry drink spraying over Doug Hamilton pops into my head, and I feel a twinge of unease. Not one of my best moments.”

“”We could start calling each other ‘darling,’” he says in an embarrassed rush.”