Cam *tactile seeker*’s Reviews > Tousle Me: A New Adult Parody > Status Update

There's sexual dubstep in my panties - is this worrying? Or is it a Billboard hit waiting to happen?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Then there's a blog hop where we're making wish lists of our fantasy titles; Clamtasy's Erotica has gone with a steamy romp called "Ten Cock Summer", while Pegworth25 wants a college romance about losing your virginity to your AA sponsor - Skintervention.
My own personal contribution is a tale of ghosts and dark love called "Fingering Echo". Somebody needs to write these books.

AHAHAHAHAH! Damn right.

Then I just lie there, my knees still a good two feet apart, while this pair of brutally handsome but well-dressed men battle it out in front of me to soft classical music. I'm guessing it would be inappropriate to masturbate right about now, but it sure is tempting. This must be why black widow spiders eat their mates; it saves having to watch this kind of thing while you wank yourself to death.

Or laugh to death

"I have a little present for you." Hunter steps back into my room, holding a leash covered in black sequins. There's a clop-clopping sound in the hall, almost like... hooves.
"I'd like you to meet Sparkles von Fancypants," he says, looking awfully pleased with himself.
"Sparkles von whuh?"... A tall creature trots into the room, a purple one covered in silver glitter... Hunter has brought me a UNICORN.

LOOOOOL

"His fudge sundae hair is tousled with sweat, and his broad, tanned chest is ripped beyond belief. To the delight of my nipples, which are erect and feasting at the fabric of my dress, he does indeed have a tattoo: just above his waistband and his penis, a stretch of Courier New reads Warning: chocking hazard.


BUAHUAHUAHUAHUAH, so good.

"His fudge sundae hair is tousled with sweat, and his broad, tanned chest is ripped beyond relief. To the delight of my nipples, which are erect and feasting at the fabric of my dress, he does indeed have a tattoo: just above his waistband and his penis, a stretch of Courier New reads Warning: chocking hazard.

BUAHUAHUAHUAHUAH, so good.

"Okay." He reappears, one hand ruffling his hair.
"It's all sorted."
"Huh?" I'm confused. Why am I always so confused?
"I bought Goodreads. Your review will be back up in about five minutes."

Hilarious.

"Archer's always been kind of touchy-feely with me; it's okay though because we're best friends, and he's almost like my brother. A handsome brother that maybe I'd bone if he wasn't my brother, and he isn't really, but also he kind of is".