Status Updates From Tousle Me: A New Adult Parody

This is funny af but I don’t j ow if I can handle home self aware it is and the sheer amount of references.

I can feel my cheeks flush. Even the ones on my face.>

Hay cada ridiculez.... Estoy resaltando todo el libro ggg

Acabo de googlear algo que mencionan y... Estoy traumada

"No matter what happens, I’m here for you. Unless it’s X Factor night. Then we can Facebook each other or something.”

Oh God, he can’t die. I’m still a virgin. Still a virgin!”

“I’m not going to a party just because you think I should have sex,” I mutter.
“But but but. You’re at college now, you’re a grown woman. There’s nothing to stop you having a little fun.”
I cock my head. “My parents are conveniently absent.”

I think I might just enjoy this book :)

Me encantan las parodias.,

Tengo que leer este ridículo libro despacio o lo terminaré odiándolo

"Archer’s always been kind of touchy-feely with me; it’s okay though because we’re best friends, and he’s almost like my brother. A handsome brother that maybe I’d bone if he wasn’t my brother, and he isn’t really, but also he kind of is."

Libros fastidioso :3

Sex in books is like magic: there are rules and consequences, debts to be paid. The only difference is that the rules don’t apply to dudes; being a manwhore is like being a really powerful wizard. Which sure makes me think about Harry Potter in a different light.

“What’s that you’re reading?” I glance down to check the title. “Twincest Summer.” “Oh?” He’s trying very hard not to look interested. “With actual…twins?” “Mmm hmm.” “Isn’t that, you know…dirty and wrong?” he says darkly. “Oh no. They’re only step-twins.”

I find an empty seat near the middle and fiddle about in my book bag for my iPad. Critical Thinking for Darren Hayes Lyrics is always half empty; the last professor got sacked for having a torrid affair with a student, so we’re stuck with the temp replacement.

“Actually, I was talking about therapy,” I say. “Professional help? Nah. Way too logical for any self-respecting romance hero.” I nod sagely. “Fair point.”

This book should get an automatic 5-stars for referencing "Bedknobs and Broomsticks."

I want too high five this book.

And I already lost it, hard, at "UCLAP."

Oh. My. God. I have never laughed this hard reading a parody book, ever.

On hold for whenever I'm in the mood.

There's sexual dubstep in my panties - is this worrying? Or is it a Billboard hit waiting to happen?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Okay, I'm confused, and not in the new adult heroine type of way.
"You can eat full fat cream just fine despite your lack of eating issues"
What does this mean!?! Is it that the lack of eating food is the issue, or that she lacks food related problems? This same phrasing is used several times in the book, and I still can't tell what's being said.

I don’t say this bit out loud, but we both know Enid’s being punished for no-strings boning. Sex in books is like magic: there are rules and consequences, debts to be paid. The only difference is that the rules don’t apply to dudes; being a manwhore is like being a really powerful wizard. Which sure makes me think about Harry Potter in a different light.
Still, I’d let Hunter Slytherin.