Gerhard’s Reviews > Mermaid Fillet > Status Update

He googled a meme about the downfall of the patriarchy to send Michaela. Even followed it up with a cute cat gif. Then he sent a dick pic, and went to go wish Ma for Christmas with a box of Ferrero Rocher.

And when he walked into church, Saint Peter dropped his keys, the archangels fell to the ground, the Virgin Mary crossed her legs, and the cloth covering the loins of the man on the cross was moved.

Letitia lived in the Northern Suburbs. The Northern Suburbs is a black hole with a gravitational force so strong that two papsaks fused and formed a singularity.

‘Baby, did you just say emotional labour like seven times?’
‘Ja, why?’
‘You just sound so woke right now.’
‘What the fuck is woke?’

'What was the difference between pushing a man’s head through a hook, and letting him sift through your trash for survival? Perd knew the answer was simple. What he was seeing right now, right here, was worse. This right here, he thought, looking at the man shoulder-deep in his bin, this was some brutal shit. This was worse than what he did, worse than what he does. Perd was violent, not cruel.'

'On the bust, the inscription to the monument read: To the spirit and life work of Cecil John Rhodes who loved and served South Africa. The structure had forty-nine steps, one for each year that Rhodes had lived while he’d killed more black people than Hitler had Jews.'

'We celebrate, thank and exalt the sheen of Friday, the rapture, the relief, the oblivion, the peace of Friday. We want to ingest and digest it, drink it, have it fill us – in a huge collective act of Friday-worship, every week. And festive season? Well, festive season is the Friday of seasons.'

'Last night, they dreamed of eating mermaid fillet. Not sushi, not carpaccio, not caviar, but mermaid fillet. They wanted the best. Rarer than crayfish. More illegal than perlemoen.'