B’s Reviews > The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids > Status Update

Authoritarian: Do as you’re told
Permissive: Do your own thing
Authoritative: We can work it out

“good parents alwaYs try to come back to a position of acceptance”

- Create discussion opportunities at meal times
- Stay connected through 12-14
- Pay attention to subtext of interactions (loss, identity, independence, control)

Children need to see that we value
- character first
- effort second
- grades third

Not confusing what you want and who you are with what your child wants and who they are

Well-loved children (unconditional support, soothed, helped to navigate difficulties, reassured of their value or ability to please others) believe they are worth caring about and come to care about themselves.

Concept of “internal home”

Affluent families tend to be quick to limit kids’ frustration and distress. Affluent kids haven’t had enough bad things happen to them. So they are unable to develop critical coping skills.

Parents have to be able to tolerate their children’s disappointment, resentment, and even anger when their wishes aren’ts granted, when they are pushed to work out problems on their own, or when they are furstrated.