Phoebe’s Reviews > Network Effect > Status Update

“Just remember you’re not alone here.”
I never know what to say to that. I am actually alone in my head, and that’s where 90 plus percent of my problems are.”

“ Yes, please be careful. There was a terrible virus on a company ship and we all nearly died and SecUnit’s brain was compromised.”
“SecUnit’s brain is always compromised,” ART said.

ART said “And this is your idea of being helpful.”
I said, “This is my idea of the opposite of being helpful. I am here against my will and you are going to regret that.”
Arada pressed both hands to her face. “Maybe you should go back in the bathroom and think about this a little more.”

Her expression had turned all melty and sentimental. “No hugging,” I warned her. It was in our contract. “Do you need emotional support? Do you want me to call someone?”

[...] avoiding a hostage situation was important to my risk assessment module’s Projected Schedule of Events Leading to a Successful Resolution. (In company terms that’s a PSELSR, which is a terrible anagram.) (I don’t mean anagram, I mean the other thing.) <—— Excellent writing right there