Status Update

Aaron is on page 152 of 434

So Jacob has a pleasant, HUSKY voice does he? Really? Stephanie? Does he? Also I love how quickly Bella decides Edward wishes she had been crushed by that van after all, and make no mistake honey he's laughing AT you not WITH you.

— Apr 03, 2022 10:05AM

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Aaron’s Previous Updates

Aaron is on page 374 of 434

10 pages about vampires playing baseball and not a single joke about a "vampire bat"?? I don't understand.

— Apr 11, 2022 10:56AM

Aaron is on page 334 of 434

So Edward doesn't listen to motown, glam rock, funk, or prog? That explains a lot.

— Apr 10, 2022 11:17AM

Aaron is on page 286 of 434

So Jacob tells Bella the truth about the Cullens and takes care of his disabled father while Edward calls her a coward and steals a kiss while she's too impaired to drive and all ya'll bishes are still Team Edward?

— Apr 07, 2022 11:04AM

Aaron is on page 53 of 434

So I'm already tired of how every time something is perfect it's also white. Gross. Also Bella envisions her Chevy destroying a foreign car but is infatuated with Edward's Volvo and that's weird. But I guess Europeans aren't foreign? Oh that's right, Europeans are white and therefore perfect. Fuck off, Stephanie Meyer.

— Apr 01, 2022 10:17AM

Aaron is on page 53 of 434

So I'm already tired of how every time something is perfect it's also white. Gross. Also Bella envisions her Chevy destroying a foreign car but is infatuated with Edward's Volvo and that'ss weird. But I guess Europeans aren't foreign? Oh that's right, Europeans are white and therefore perfect. Fuck off, Stephanie Meyer.

— Apr 01, 2022 10:16AM