Alyssa’s Reviews > The Banana In My Butt Is A Handsome Lifeguard > Status Update

“As my blurry vision becomes clearer, the face of my savior comes into view, and I’m immediately struck by just how handsome he is. Apparently, the rescue tower wasn’t as vacant as I first suspected, because next to me sits a huge sentient banana lifeguard in tight red shorts, his gorgeous muscular body still wet and glistening from the salty water.”