Cassidy’s Reviews > Good News Bible > Status Update

Review of Joshua:
-who knew a guy named Josh could commit so much genocide
-he fully wipes out like 8 cities
-joshua basically spends this entire book trying to do Moses roleplay because he's insecure about his own war crimes or something
-any time the bible says something still stands to this day it's a lie
-the lists in this one were too long
-josh is the most boring war criminal ever
-fave verse: 10:12-14
-4/10

Review of Deuteronomy:
-so repetitive
-the phrase "wet dream" shows up in this
-who decided the order of these chapters u can't just have a law about cutting off a woman's hand if she punches a man's balls and then say how important loving orphans is
-god really said he forgives sins and then immediately told Moses he had to die? Ok.
-the best laws r the ones that god directly contradicts
-fave verse: 25:11
-5.5/10

Review of Numbers:
-guy beats a donkey so hard God gives the donkey the power of speech
-working on a Sunday and gets u stoned to death
-god kills so many people im surprised anyone was left alive to write about this
-God is an abusive dad call child services fr
-god has the memory of a goldfish and cant make up his mind verse 23:19 is just a lie
-so boring after ch25
-fave verse: 23:24
-2.5/10 (not enough numbers)

Review of Leviticus:
-Super boring
-Can I call God problematic
-God loves goats and sheep so much it's like kinda sus
-God gets really specific about incest like really really specific
-I think the average person would probably need to sacrifice 8 goats a day and be stoned to death about once a week
-The Love thy neighbor line is like 1 of 3 wholesome lines in this entire book
-Fave verse: 26:17 & 26:36-39
-2/10

Review of Genesis:
-all of the Jewish patriarchs fucking suck they're all bad parents
- Abraham and Sarah did Hagar and Ishmael so dirty I hate them both
- Jacob is a horrible husband
- The favoritism of children is the root of all their problems
-Wtf happened in sodom
- SO MUCH INCEST!? (Abraham and Sarah are siblings!?)
- Jacob literally decking god is so funny
- favorite verse: 4:10 and 49:8-12
-overall 7/10

I'm being so normal about finishing the hinterland doctrine