M'rella’s Reviews > Ashes of Memory > Status Update
M'rella
is 30% done
“He knocked on the (car) window, startling me. I recovered quickly, and cranked the handle down…”
What kind of car does Tam drive? Unless we are in a time period where the majority of the cars still had handles to operate the windows. 🤔
— May 14, 2022 07:52AM
What kind of car does Tam drive? Unless we are in a time period where the majority of the cars still had handles to operate the windows. 🤔
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M'rella’s Previous Updates
M'rella
is 13% done
Annoying amounts of unnecessary detail. I don’t need to know what a glass of water looked like. I don’t give two shits about it being short and wide. It doesn’t contribute to the story, and unless your goal is purple prose, it’s …ugh - I repeat - annoying. Speaking of using same words within a span of the same sentence/paragraph - use thesaurus!
Argh! Frustrating 😡
— May 12, 2022 06:55AM
Argh! Frustrating 😡
M'rella
is 10% done
Is it me or is the writing a bit confusing, like maybe it needs editing? I mean - as a tiny itsy-bitsy example - how do you “regard someone with parted lips, with your eyes narrowing”? Just awkward.
Also, in Vince’s POV chapter he thinks of Baz as “Vince’s nephew”.
A couple of sentences didn’t make sense at all, as I tried reading them slower. This writing is disruptive:(
— May 12, 2022 04:18AM
Also, in Vince’s POV chapter he thinks of Baz as “Vince’s nephew”.
A couple of sentences didn’t make sense at all, as I tried reading them slower. This writing is disruptive:(
