محمدعلی کرمی’s Reviews > Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience > Status Update

in this perception-driven world, the big question is always: Are you setting goals and expectations that are completely outside of your control?

“Boredom is your imagination calling to you.”
نویسنده میگه مواقعی که دچار ملال میشیم، بهترین مواقع برای خلق ایده‌ها هستن، چون در این مواقع تحریک کمتری در وجودمون هست و ذهنمون خلوت‌تره.

schadenfreude: It’s “an emotion typically born out of inferiority rather than superiority.” I would add that it doesn’t always have to be about inferiority; schadenfreude is also born out of fear, powerlessness, and/or a sense of deservedness.

It’s easy to build counterfeit connection with collective schadenfreude. I say “counterfeit” because when we see someone who we don’t like, we disagree with, or is outside our group stumble, fall, or fail, it’s tempting to celebrate that suffering together& to stir up collective emotion. That kind of bonding might feel good for a moment, but nothing that celebrates the pain of another person builds lasting connection

Resentment is the feeling of frustration, judgment, anger, “better than,” and/or hidden envy related to perceived unfairness or injustice. It’s an emotion that we often experience when we fail to set boundaries or ask for what we need, or when expectations let us down because they were based on things we can’t control, like what other people think, what they feel, or how they’re going to react.

We know from the research that unwanted identity is the most powerful elicitor of shame. If you want to know what’s likely to trigger shame for you, just fill in this sentence stem: It’s really important for me not to be perceived as ________________.

Envy involves two people & occurs when one lacks something enjoyed by another.The target of envy may be a person or a group, but the focus of envy is that one lacks something compared with a specific target.
Jealousy involves three people & occurs when one fears losing someone to another person. Envy & jealousy result from different situations, generate distinct appraisals, & produce distinctive emotional experiences

Frank Fujita writes, “Social comparisons can make us happy or unhappy. Upward comparisons can inspire or demoralize us, whereas downward comparisons can make us feel superior or depress us. In general, however, frequent social comparisons are not associated with life satisfaction or the positive emotions of love and joy but are associated with the negative emotions of fear, anger, shame, and sadness.”

“comparing the self with others is a pervasive social phenomenon”& how we perceive our standings or rankings with these comparisons can affect our self-concept, our level of aspiration & our feelings of well-being. we use comparison not only to evaluate past & current outcomes, but to predict future prospects. This means significant parts of our lives, including our future, are shaped by comparing ourselves to others

We’ve found that across cultures, most of us were raised to believe that being vulnerable is being weak. This sets up an unresolvable tension for most of us, because we were also raised to be brave. There is no courage without vulnerability. Courage requires the willingness to lean into uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.