FS’s Reviews > Snow and the 7 Hunks > Status Update

"I felt him smile"

Urgh. This is so lazy. if you want to really not think about your craft just write "He was smiling."
Why do you have to put this "felt" filter in front of everything? This just creates annoying distance between the mc and the reader.
Amateur.

"I felt deep satisfaction."
"it felt like a tremendous relief"
"I felt nervous"
"I felt an immediate attraction."

Felt, felt, felt, felt, felt.

How about not just tell how she felt but make the reader feel the emotions with giving actual bodily functions that demonstrate the emotions?

Also

"I can hear..."
"I saw ..."

You don't need those crutches.

"I felt the attraction building."
"I felt excited for the new experience."
"I enjoyed the touch of.."
"The kiss surprised me."
"The immediate physical responses that I was experiencing"

Are typical examples of written emotions. Completely uninspired, mechanical, lifeless. Reads like a summary.

So much exposition, explanations, descriptions. So little plot, progressions, "feelable" emotions. Boring.