Vani’s Reviews > Lacybourne Manor > Status Update
Vani
is 62% done
I need him to crawl on more broken glass for what he did to her in the beginning and frankly, what he continues to do to her even after all the revelations. There's not enough suffering on his part and too much on hers! Although I'm not sure what I think about the story up to this point, I feel there are problematic elements that don't sit well with me.
— Jul 03, 2022 10:58AM
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Vani’s Previous Updates
Vani
is 15% done
What works for me: Interesting concept; Reincarnated star-crossed lovers! Magic! Double murder! Fate! A medieval manor! Gothic atmosphere with lightning, thunderstorms, and portraits of dead people!
An incredible sense of place. I have no trouble seeing the characters and their surroundings in my mind's eye.
— Jun 24, 2022 07:26AM
An incredible sense of place. I have no trouble seeing the characters and their surroundings in my mind's eye.
Vani
is 15% done
What doesn't work for me: Lots of extra information about her work and the people she meets through work that could have been taken out because I don't care. Just give me the story of the couple and enough background information to establish their characters. The frequent use of brackets disrupts my reading flow.
— Jun 24, 2022 07:16AM
Vani
is 15% done
Wow... he's terrible. I get that he has trust issues given his experience with women throughout his life but what he does when they meet for the first time is absolutely unacceptable. I'm not sure if he's redeemable and if so, how the writer is going to achieve it in a way that's authentic. At this point in the story, I like her and I think he doesn't deserve her.
— Jun 24, 2022 07:10AM
