ErikaWasReading’s Reviews > Unbreakable > Status Update

Oh! And now we even have a random Nurse who is just here so we can talk bad about her and how amazing Arizona is.

Jace waking up from a comma, and Draco immediately walking in only to launch into a 10 min, uninterrupted speech filled with backstory is a perfect example of why I am tempted to DNF. The pacing is consistently wrong and the dialogue is so clunky.

Literally, any other female character is portrayed horribly and then the men in Ari’s life immediately shit talk them.

Every character just has these stream of consciousness, run on sentence conversations

So, the plus-size stripper who lacks confidence, and the convenient Latina bartender are the only women we don’t immediately hate on site.

I just want to edit/rewrite these sentences to take out the “telling” and to give some variation.

Omg. People don’t soliloquy in real life

Does this author just hate strippers? Arizona refers to them as heifers and whores and they are written so one dimensional.

This feels so NLOG and judgey.

The huge chunks on dialogue feel so awkward. It would be great if we knew what they were doing and got a feel for the whole scene.