Bella Kidson’s Reviews > The Falling in Love Montage > Status Update

‘I'm going to assume Ruby invited you in some post-sex sapphic haze, but you're very late for dinner. Can I assume this is a booty call?’

‘He probably felt guilty about what he said too but neither of us are the type to actually apologise. We sweep it under the rug.
The rug had got awful lumpy.’

‘More like if I had to pant and puff my way up this tree, I wasn't having a pretty girl watch me do it. It'd be like climbing up the rope in PE with Kristen Stewart at the bottom looking disappointed in you. I mean she'd look like that anyway, that's just her face, but you know what I mean.’

‘That's how I kissed the only girl I ever loved to a corny eighties pop hit. When the sax solo kicked in, we broke apart laughing. For years afterwards all we had to do was hum a few bars and we would giggle. It became a refrain for our relationship. A code between us. Whenever I felt sad or stressed, she'd hum a few bars and I couldn't help but laugh and feel like everything would be OK. Because I had her.’

‘Must be nice to have so much money you forget how
to clean up after yourself,’ I sighed wistfully.
‘Saoirse, it's nice to be rich enough that I'm not annoyed you stole a bottle of CIROC Ten from me.’ He tapped the Coke bottle in my hand, which created an odd gap in the music. How he knew I'd filled it with his expensive vodka, I don't know. Let's call it an educated guess.’

‘Now sandwiches are literally the stuff of life. You can't beat food stuck between bread by a thick layer of butter. But there is nothing that looks more pathetic than sitting alone, eating a sandwich. It happens in films all the time. Whenever they want to show how sad and lonely a character is, they have them eat a sandwich at their desk or eat a sandwich on a park bench or eat a sandwich in front of the TV.’

‘I've read a bunch of think pieces about how the romantic comedy is making a comeback, but I think it's just a nineties hangover trying to crawl its way back into relevance. Like plastic chokers, glittery eyeshadow, and TV reboots.’