Laura’s Reviews > Welcome to Dead Town Raven McKay > Status Update

No, ok, I am more bothered by the grammar stuff. There's no commas in sight for the vocative case?? And then there's sentences that go like "She was wearing in yellow trousers [...]" and "Eddie, an usually tall boy [...]" (although maybe the author did want to say that Eddie was just usually tall instead of unusually, how would I know).
Also, some of the sentence lengths chop up the reading experience :(

This book required more/better proof-reading. Promising so far, though