Swaye’s Reviews > Thursday Afternoons > Status Update

"Hey, shhh. Let’s make a promise right now not to beat ourselves up anymore about the past, okay? I want a fresh start. For both of us, right now."

“Sweetheart,” she urges. “Come here. Let me hold you.”
All she wants is to love this woman, to be loved by her.

"Something dislodges in her. Something so much bigger than any of her inhibitions or fears or imagined obstacles. She wants a life with this woman, and if they have to wait a few more months, she’ll do it. She’ll do whatever it takes."

Amy holds her tightly.
“Thank you for being so brave.”
Amy pulls back to look her in the eyes. “It’s not bravery. It’s being smart for a change. I’d be stupid to let you go. And I’d regret it for the rest of my life.”
She places both hands on Amy’s face, pulls her into her, and kisses her again. Tenderly. She’s so in love with this woman. She’s never felt this way about anyone before.

“Amy, are you sure?”
“Sure of what?”
“That you…love me?” The urge to touch Amy is irresistible, and she raises a hand to her cheek, cups it lightly, hopes it conveys the tenderness she feels for this woman.
“I am. And I do.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” She chokes on the sob rising in her throat. “I love you too.”

"She misses Amy’s body. Misses the intimacy of lying together, of holding one another, of shutting out the rest of the world."

"She makes her want to live. She makes her want to jump on the carousel instead of standing there watching it go around and around. “I’m not sure I know how to be in a relationship without waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Which is exactly why this sort-of-but-not-sort-of-dating thing is ripping her in two. But she doesn’t want to be sad anymore. She wants to laugh. She wants to feel normal, whatever that is."

"You’re too good for your own good."
"I don’t take commitments lightly."
"No, I can see that you don’t. But I think it’s more about your habit of putting other people’s needs ahead of your own. I want you to be happy. I want you to be okay. And not just because I want to be with you, but because you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be okay, Amy."

“How many more months? Or can we measure it in weeks now?”
She softly shakes her head. “Don’t.”
“I can’t help it. I hate this. I want to be with you.” She’s keeping her voice low, but she glances at the door, which does not have a lock.
“I know, believe me.” Her voice cracks. She needs to keep it together.

"She wants to spend time with her, get to know her, be a part of her life, because with one match at a time, she has gone and relit the lamps in the darkest, loneliest corners of her heart. But the town they live in has eyes. And ears. And a boatload of judgment.
“We can’t be open about seeing each other right now."
“So we have three months where we sort of quietly see each other?”
She nods, bites her bottom lip."