Christine’s Reviews > All That Has Flown Beyond > Status Update

“Some things in life are difficult. I know you’ve probably heard that before, but what that really means is that when you encounter something that’s difficult, this is not a reflection on you. Of your capacity or worth. It is a natural quality of life. Some hills are steep. Some rivers are filled with rapid water. Some deserts are so long and arid it’s like they’re never going to stop”

“…that pain and darkness. It had been something he’d had to survive. Had it shaped him? Yes. But not willingly. He could have gone through life without it. It hadn’t been fair, or fateful, or meant to be. It had been shit. A massive pile of shit Kaiyo had managed to dig himself out of, because he’d had to. And he wouldn’t stand there and take someone trying to tell him it had been anything else.”

“Every day he would have to exist. There would be no respite from himself.
Existing was a series of exhausting steps. His head filled with the thought of having another emotion, of having to contend with his morality, with his conscience, with having to have a sense of purpose.” 😭

“What they didn’t tell you about loss was that it was a presence instead of an absence. You could feel it, constantly. It was active with memory. A stain, a smell, a word. Anything could take you back to a place which was painful to remember now. Suddenly, the dead would be everywhere.”
AUGH 😭😭😭

You lie there and feel a hollow weight. You are small and tired. The black is distance around you. You’re detached from the world which must be functioning perfectly just on the other side of the membrane of your mind. You feel the perfect hole of the loneliness between your lungs. It crawls up, squeezing your throat. You turn your mind away from it desperately. It is not something you can stand looking at for long