Hayden Hamby’s Reviews > Secrets of Malfoy Manor > Status Update

“Fine, let me give you a simple one. Maybe there are three kings with gifts and a baby on the window.”
“The first throuple?” he asked innocently.”

*snorts*

“Draco offered to turn part of it into a cattery for Crookshanks.
[…]
Draco looked at her askance. “Sweetheart, this is sucking up to *Crookshanks*, not to you. He’s much smarter than me, and I have to stay on his good side. He wouldn’t hesitate to smother me in my sleep if I put a toe out of line.”

I’m dead

“* HG will agree to a permanent nondisparagement clause related to any member of the Malfoy or Black families, alive or deceased (exception for Bellatrix Lestrange because she was truly a heinous bitch).*”

I’m dead

“*I’ll do better for you. I’ll be better for you. I promise sweetheart, I’ll stop sneaking around. I’m so sorry for fucking up. You’re perfect, and this is why I need you. You call me out for my bullshit. I’m so sorry.*”

We love simp Draco.
Especially when he admits he was wrong for spying on Hermione

I’m with Draco on the struggling with time travel

“Shacklebolt glanced at all of them and said, “It doesn’t matter if it’s legal or not. The only one in here who can bring charges for dark magic is Potter, and he knows that if he decides to prosecute her for it, I’ll just pardon her. Isn’t that right, Potter?” he added in a stern voice.
“Yes, yes she’s immune from prosecution, I know.”

By FAR my favorite Kingsley

“The things Hermione will and won’t do are for me to know and not you. That being said, given that you never shagged her, nor even gave her the courtesy of going down on her, I don’t think you’re really one to talk about her limits.”
To Draco’s amusement, George was looking at his little brother with dismay. “You didn’t even go down on her?”

GEORGE I’m dead

“it shared the same mauve carpet the goblins used for their executive wing. Draco wrinkled his nose at it and made a mental note to have the carpet replaced with something less… *mauve*. It was the least they could do to soothe his temper.”

He’s got carpet in his cave vault and he’s mad about the color. I can’t with him

“In fact, he’s given me his Lover’s Box. […]
“No…” whispered Ella. “No, he can’t have. I would have known…”
“Oh, of course he did,” said Narcissa airily. “Ages ago.”
“I’ve known about it for months,” chimed in Pansy.
“Yes, I’m surprised nobody told you,” said Luna, which made Ella go very pale. “I thought everybody knew about *that.*”

SNAPS IN A Z FORMATION

“Ella Vanity came marching toward them.
“Shit,” muttered Hermione.
“Bitch slap her,” suggested Pansy.
“I’ll help,” chimed Theo.”

True friendship