Ppcfransen’s Reviews > Lava Cake and Lies > Status Update

Wyatt had known Alma—and Beth.

Which part of “we all went to highschool together” do you keep forgetting?

they found two sets of fingerprints on the gun.”

Which gun? There have been two guns found in as many days.

Vince calls Ginny from jail to tell her he can’t full her lease because he has to sell the place to make bail.

Er, that’s not what the “one phonecall” is for. It for making arrangments to make bail. Not for conducting other business.
And wouldn’t her lease just transfer to the new owner of the building?

Why would Vince—assuming he’s guilty—shoot someone and then fall asleep right next to the gun? It doesn’t add up.”

No, that adds up just fine. You’re assuming a murderer would try to cover his tracks. Some are idiots, some are calculating and try for a double bluff: only an idiot would fall asleep next to the gun; obviously, I’m being framed.

I told him about our son,” she finally said,

Uh, if everyone knows everyone so well (as Ginny claims on the next page), Beth would have said: I told him about [insert boy’s name]. Lois would know he’s Beth’s son. She can later explain to Ginny.

Rule of writing: don’t have characters tell eachother stuff they already know, even if the reader doesn’t know.