kit kat’s Reviews > Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia > Status Update
kit kat
is 5% done
“I divided into two: the self in my head and the girl in the mirror. It was a strange, not unpleasant feeling of disorientation, dissociation. I began to return to the mirror often, to see if I could get that feeling back. If I sat very still and thought: Not me-not me-not me over and over, I could retrieve the feeling of being two girls, staring at each other through the glass of the mirror.”
— Dec 24, 2024 07:02AM
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kit kat’s Previous Updates
kit kat
is 7% done
“In childhood, all of us go through a process of discovering how to self-regulate—to calm down, to stop the flood of tears, to release fears. It's a necessary process.”
— Jan 03, 2025 08:42PM
kit kat
is 7% done
“If you are bulimic, it is assumed that you come from a chaotic family. If you are an anoretic, it is assumed you come from a rigid and controlling family. As it happens, mine was both”
— Jan 03, 2025 08:42PM
kit kat
is 5% done
“I was not seeking my image in the mirror out of vain pride. On the contrary, my vigilance was something else—both a need to see that I appeared, on the surface at least, acceptable, and a need for reassurance that I was still there”
— Dec 24, 2024 07:00AM
kit kat
is 4% done
“I remember wanting. And I remember being at once afraid and ashamed that I wanted. I felt like yearning was specific to me, and the guilt that it brought was mine alone.”
— Dec 24, 2024 06:52AM
kit kat
is 4% done
“I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break. Even now, when people lean down to touch me, or hug me, or put a hand on my shoulder, I hold my breath. I turn my face. I want to cry.”
— Dec 24, 2024 06:51AM
kit kat
is 4% done
“It's as if a part of my brain had split off and was keeping an eye on me, making sure I knew how I looked at all times.”
— Dec 24, 2024 06:48AM
kit kat
is 4% done
“I have never been normal about my body. It has always seemed to me a strange and foreign entity. I don't know that there was ever a time when I was not conscious of it. As far back as I can think, I was aware of my corporeality, my physical imposition on space” so real
— Dec 24, 2024 06:43AM
