Nicole’s Reviews > When an Adult You Love Has ADHD: Professional Advice for Parents, Partners, and Siblings > Status Update

Pg. 388: Genuinely helpful appendix. Includes DSM-5 criteria for diagnosing current severity (“Mild, Moderate, or Severe”) and descriptions of diagnosing criteria for 5 possible options:
“1. Inattention,
2. Hyperactivity and Impulsivity,
3. Combined Presentation,
4. Predominantly Inattentive Presentation,
5. Predominantly Hyperactive/Impulsive Presentation”

Pg. 384: I wish I did this for myself!
“Employers, schools or colleges…are usually well aware of the requirements under the ADA and the protections the law affords.
…If your loved one has experienced such discrimination as a direct result of their having adult ADHD, then you may wish to have them contact legal counsel or the U.S. Office of Civil Rights for further guidance on addressing their complaint.”

Pg. 346: What if you have ADHD and you live with someone who also has ADHD? If so, who does Barkley expect to manage household finances?
“If you are married or living with someone with adult ADHD (and assuming you do not have ADHD as well), you should likely handle bill paying and budgeting. I am assuming here that you are more organized and timely in your management of money than your loved one happens to be.”

Pg. 330: Again, no citation! What research? I had & currently have the opposite experience of this. “Third, recognize what research shows us: Adults with ADHD, like children with ADHD, do not evaluate their own behavior and performance deficits the same way as individuals who do not have ADHD. They view themselves as functioning better than they actually may be doing in various tasks and major life activities.”

Ch. 11, 63%: “Helping the adult with ADHD includes not just identifying problematic behavior and impairments and what to do about them but also identifying positive qualities and assets they may have... Skilled therapists can help offset or counterbalance negative self-perceptions; promote greater self-acceptance; and reinforce strengths, talents, and other qualities as needed for adults with ADHD.”

Ch. 10, 62%: “Treatment Works Better When You Instill Hope: You can make a great difference in how your loved one copes with ADHD by encouraging him to approach his treatment with a hopeful attitude.”

Ch 10, 59%: “What will you need to do to help your loved one with owning, understanding, and dealing with their adult ADHD? To accept it and understand it yourself. Then you will need patience, tolerance, a sense of humor, realistic expectations, an ability and willingness to help them through crises, and a willingness to hang in there with them no matter what may be around the next corner.” MUCH better advice!!

Chapter 9, 50%. Again, this is better advice for “moving someone from the ‘not aware of the disorder’ (precontemplation) to the next stage, ‘aware of the disorder’ (contemplation)”, but I wish that the following sentiment was emphasized more throughout the book:
“Avoid blaming or making your loved one feel guilty.”

Slightly better: “…familiarize you so that you see it, eyes wide open, as the serious problem it can often be for people afflicted with it. Doing so may help motivate you to try to help them with their struggle in coping with this disorder. And your encouragement may help motivate your loved one to get the help they may require to manage their disorder and reduce all the risks discussed earlier in this book.”