Linda Kaplan Thaler's Blog
April 8, 2013
Imagine a Nicer Universe
For many years, we’ve hoped that one day we would have the chance to work with the ADL and help them spread their mission of putting an end to bigotry and hatred around the world. Recently, our agency was asked to create a video celebrating the ADL’s 100th anniversary, so naturally, we jumped at the opportunity.
As we contemplated what kind of film we’d create, we sadly recalled all of the lives that have been cut short by hate crimes: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Anne Frank, Matthew Shepard, and Yitzhak Rabin to name a few. How much could each one of them have accomplished in a different kind of world?
We could only imagine. That’s when the idea hit us: what if we imagined a world without hate? In that world, we would be celebrating all of the accomplishments we can now only dream of.
The result is a video we’re deeply proud of—one that took a simple, emotional idea, touched peoples’ hearts, and made an impact. We hope you’ll share it with the people who have touched your own life.
And it all started with a simple idea: imagine what the world would be like if there was no hate. What if instead, people were only kind to one another?
We shouldn’t have to wonder. One by one, we can all help to make this movement happen. In your work, in your life, in your relationships…everywhere, if there’s one thing we want you to take away from this blog, it’s that nothing we do is insignificant. Even one random act of kindness can be transformational.
There is untapped potential in each action we take, large or small. Even the tiniest good deed can have a multiplier effect powerful enough to do big things. You just have to give it the opportunity to flourish.
So, let’s all take the next little step together. And then keep on going until we change the world.
As we contemplated what kind of film we’d create, we sadly recalled all of the lives that have been cut short by hate crimes: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Anne Frank, Matthew Shepard, and Yitzhak Rabin to name a few. How much could each one of them have accomplished in a different kind of world?
We could only imagine. That’s when the idea hit us: what if we imagined a world without hate? In that world, we would be celebrating all of the accomplishments we can now only dream of.
The result is a video we’re deeply proud of—one that took a simple, emotional idea, touched peoples’ hearts, and made an impact. We hope you’ll share it with the people who have touched your own life.
And it all started with a simple idea: imagine what the world would be like if there was no hate. What if instead, people were only kind to one another?
We shouldn’t have to wonder. One by one, we can all help to make this movement happen. In your work, in your life, in your relationships…everywhere, if there’s one thing we want you to take away from this blog, it’s that nothing we do is insignificant. Even one random act of kindness can be transformational.
There is untapped potential in each action we take, large or small. Even the tiniest good deed can have a multiplier effect powerful enough to do big things. You just have to give it the opportunity to flourish.
So, let’s all take the next little step together. And then keep on going until we change the world.
March 11, 2013
It’s the Thought That Counts
There’s no question that compensation is an important part of job satisfaction. But, contrary to conventional wisdom, money isn’t the primary motivator for most professionals. A kind manager can be just as effective, if not more. As it turns out, even in the business world, it’s really the thought that counts.
Research has shown that “cold, hard cash” bonuses can still provide a motivational boost, but better still are gestures with a warmer sentiment. In fact, multiple studies have found that more personal efforts, like giving a gift as a token of thanks, providing personal mentorship, and verbally conveying feedback are all more effective.
In 2011, McKinsey conducted a study that revealed some rather surprising findings. All emotionally based motivators, including attention from higher ups and opportunities for leadership roles, were more effective than financial ones. Particularly powerful was praise from a direct manager. 67% of participants in the study rated it “effective” or “extremely effective.”
Just like a kind and helpful remark, a thoughtful little gift can make a big difference too. As Ray Fisman writes on Slate.com, in a study called “The Currency of Reciprocity: Gift Exchange in the Workplace,” German and Swiss researchers found that gifts were far more motivating than unexpected cash bonuses, and could improve productivity by up to 20 percent. What’s more, the study found that small, personalized gifts spur the highest levels of motivation and loyalty. For example, a book on photography may be a more inspirational gift to an Instagram-addicted employee than a gift card to the local coffee shop.
They’re just two examples of how going the extra inch can have a profound effect on the happiness of your employees. Showing them that they are valued as individuals makes their jobs mean more than just a paycheck. Encouraging them to continue their great work? Now, that’s the real bonus.
Research has shown that “cold, hard cash” bonuses can still provide a motivational boost, but better still are gestures with a warmer sentiment. In fact, multiple studies have found that more personal efforts, like giving a gift as a token of thanks, providing personal mentorship, and verbally conveying feedback are all more effective.
In 2011, McKinsey conducted a study that revealed some rather surprising findings. All emotionally based motivators, including attention from higher ups and opportunities for leadership roles, were more effective than financial ones. Particularly powerful was praise from a direct manager. 67% of participants in the study rated it “effective” or “extremely effective.”
Just like a kind and helpful remark, a thoughtful little gift can make a big difference too. As Ray Fisman writes on Slate.com, in a study called “The Currency of Reciprocity: Gift Exchange in the Workplace,” German and Swiss researchers found that gifts were far more motivating than unexpected cash bonuses, and could improve productivity by up to 20 percent. What’s more, the study found that small, personalized gifts spur the highest levels of motivation and loyalty. For example, a book on photography may be a more inspirational gift to an Instagram-addicted employee than a gift card to the local coffee shop.
They’re just two examples of how going the extra inch can have a profound effect on the happiness of your employees. Showing them that they are valued as individuals makes their jobs mean more than just a paycheck. Encouraging them to continue their great work? Now, that’s the real bonus.
March 6, 2013
How to Make “Fast Friends” and Accelerate Your Career
Ever heard the old adage, “Curiosity killed the cat?” Well, we’re of a differing opinion. As we see it, curiosity kills the competition.
It’s one of the most effective NICE skills you can have, for several reasons. Yes, being curious and asking questions can help you learn essential little details you might otherwise never find out, but perhaps more important, it’s one of the fastest ways to make a great first impression. Think about it. Who would you rather sit next to at a dinner party: the bore who drones on incessantly about himself, or the charmer who finds you utterly fascinating?
When starting a new job, being curious is a great way to appear immediately likeable. It shows that you’re humble, willing to learn, and motivated. It also makes others feel important by answering your questions, and helps foster friendship.
According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, there is a special technique that can actually quicken the bonds you form with your coworkers. Pioneered by psychologists at Stony Brook University, the technique known as “Fast Friends” uses a series of questions asked over the course of 45 minutes to help break down barriers and form meaningful connections. But, even during the short timeframe, the connection is formed gradually. This is key, as oversharing—or on the contrary, being overly inquisitive—gives most people pause.
Scientists ask participants to complete the Fast Friends exercise in just 45 minutes, but you can give it all the time you need. It may be helpful to think of it as a template you can use when making friends during your first few weeks at a new office.
Here’s how the technique works.
• The first questions are only slightly personal. For example, “What would constitute a “perfect” day for you, here at the office?”
• The second questions are little more personal. For example, “What do you value most in a working relationship?”
• The last step is to get personal. Try sharing a problem you’ve been facing at work and ask for your new friend’s advice on how he or she might handle it.
Demonstrating an interest in your new work friends and showing that you value their expertise and opinions is an ideal way to plant positive seeds. Before you know it, you’ll have made fast friends that will serve you well long after you’ve moved on to your next position.
It’s one of the most effective NICE skills you can have, for several reasons. Yes, being curious and asking questions can help you learn essential little details you might otherwise never find out, but perhaps more important, it’s one of the fastest ways to make a great first impression. Think about it. Who would you rather sit next to at a dinner party: the bore who drones on incessantly about himself, or the charmer who finds you utterly fascinating?
When starting a new job, being curious is a great way to appear immediately likeable. It shows that you’re humble, willing to learn, and motivated. It also makes others feel important by answering your questions, and helps foster friendship.
According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, there is a special technique that can actually quicken the bonds you form with your coworkers. Pioneered by psychologists at Stony Brook University, the technique known as “Fast Friends” uses a series of questions asked over the course of 45 minutes to help break down barriers and form meaningful connections. But, even during the short timeframe, the connection is formed gradually. This is key, as oversharing—or on the contrary, being overly inquisitive—gives most people pause.
Scientists ask participants to complete the Fast Friends exercise in just 45 minutes, but you can give it all the time you need. It may be helpful to think of it as a template you can use when making friends during your first few weeks at a new office.
Here’s how the technique works.
• The first questions are only slightly personal. For example, “What would constitute a “perfect” day for you, here at the office?”
• The second questions are little more personal. For example, “What do you value most in a working relationship?”
• The last step is to get personal. Try sharing a problem you’ve been facing at work and ask for your new friend’s advice on how he or she might handle it.
Demonstrating an interest in your new work friends and showing that you value their expertise and opinions is an ideal way to plant positive seeds. Before you know it, you’ll have made fast friends that will serve you well long after you’ve moved on to your next position.
February 27, 2013
Beauty and Brains
Do you ever take a moment at work simply to look out the window and daydream for a few minutes? You might think that doing so is a little unproductive. But, particularly if you can catch a glimpse of something green, enjoying the view outside can actually improve your work in the office. It’s just one of the amazing ways in which author Lance Hosey explains that beautiful things can affect the brain in a positive way.
In his recent New York Times article, Hosey writes that small, seemingly insignificant visual elements, like color, shape, and texture, have a powerful affect on the brain. As he writes, research has found that a view of the landscape can speed patient recovery in hospitals, aid learning in classrooms and spur productivity in the workplace. For example, in a study of call centers, workers who could see outside completed tasks six to seven percent more efficiently, saving the company more than $3,000 per employee, per year. In other words, seeing a little green can help your company see more green.
But, you don’t need to be near a lush landscape. Beauty’s effect on the brain works in surprising ways. Believe it or not, simply looking at the color green can elicit the same chemical reaction within the brain, promoting creativity and motivation. No wonder Emerald green has been named Pantone’s 2013 color of the year!
From a verdant view to a textured surface, taking the time to notice and appreciate the little things can have a powerful affect on your life. Not only will it make everything more enjoyable, it can actually prime your mind for success.
In his recent New York Times article, Hosey writes that small, seemingly insignificant visual elements, like color, shape, and texture, have a powerful affect on the brain. As he writes, research has found that a view of the landscape can speed patient recovery in hospitals, aid learning in classrooms and spur productivity in the workplace. For example, in a study of call centers, workers who could see outside completed tasks six to seven percent more efficiently, saving the company more than $3,000 per employee, per year. In other words, seeing a little green can help your company see more green.
But, you don’t need to be near a lush landscape. Beauty’s effect on the brain works in surprising ways. Believe it or not, simply looking at the color green can elicit the same chemical reaction within the brain, promoting creativity and motivation. No wonder Emerald green has been named Pantone’s 2013 color of the year!
From a verdant view to a textured surface, taking the time to notice and appreciate the little things can have a powerful affect on your life. Not only will it make everything more enjoyable, it can actually prime your mind for success.
February 14, 2013
In Love, A Little Gesture Can Say a Lot
We’ve all heard the old expression, “Actions speak louder than words.” According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, this is especially true when it comes to matters of the heart.
Dr. Harry T. Rice, a psychology professor at the University of Rochester, tells the WSJ that couples who regularly demonstrate their affection through acts of “compassionate love”—putting your partners needs ahead of your own—are happier in their marriages than those who do not.
It’s just further evidence that NICE people are luckier in love. As we found when we were writing our book, THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, research has shown that people who are considered kind and congenial have lower divorce rates than those who are not. With Rice’s new findings, psychologists can better understand why.
As we often say, it really does pay to be nice, but these gestures of kindness needn’t be over the top. In fact, repeated small acts of kindness have a much more positive effect than infrequent, large ones. According to Dr. Rice, small, selfless acts are essential to a healthy relationship. Not only do they make your partner happier, they make you happier, too.
So, with Valentine’s Day upon us, what better time to harness the power of SMALL in your own life and do a little something nice for the one you love? It might not sparkle or come wrapped in a big red bow, but we guarantee it will make your partner feel like a million bucks.
Dr. Harry T. Rice, a psychology professor at the University of Rochester, tells the WSJ that couples who regularly demonstrate their affection through acts of “compassionate love”—putting your partners needs ahead of your own—are happier in their marriages than those who do not.
It’s just further evidence that NICE people are luckier in love. As we found when we were writing our book, THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, research has shown that people who are considered kind and congenial have lower divorce rates than those who are not. With Rice’s new findings, psychologists can better understand why.
As we often say, it really does pay to be nice, but these gestures of kindness needn’t be over the top. In fact, repeated small acts of kindness have a much more positive effect than infrequent, large ones. According to Dr. Rice, small, selfless acts are essential to a healthy relationship. Not only do they make your partner happier, they make you happier, too.
So, with Valentine’s Day upon us, what better time to harness the power of SMALL in your own life and do a little something nice for the one you love? It might not sparkle or come wrapped in a big red bow, but we guarantee it will make your partner feel like a million bucks.
January 26, 2013
Operating Your Business in High Fashion
This week, the fashion world was buzzing about the latest trends to hit the runways at Paris Fashion week. Haute Couturiers, prized for their exquisite tailoring skills, know that the tiniest detail—a finish on a seam or a slight alteration to a cut, for example—can make all the difference. As The New York Times reports, now some the most successful designers are also using the exacting standards of the traditional couture atelier to be more self-critical and demanding in their craft, and in their business practice.
That’s a trend that fits hand-in-glove with our own business philosophy. By understanding how tiny details impact your business, you can take it to the next level, no matter what your industry.
Sweating the details with a couturier’s precision can revolutionize your business in a variety of ways:
It will make you more creative. As we like to say, you can make it big by thinking small. By focusing on little details, you open yourself up to small but powerful opportunities to innovate. Examine things carefully and ask yourself to think of one tiny change you could make to improve the things you use on a daily basis. Think of it like working a muscle: the more your challenge your mind, the more creative you can become.
It will make you a better problem solver. Thinking small can help you problem solve with ease. Many professionals assume that every big problem calls for a big-thinking solution. In fact, many times the simplest solution is the best one. As George Pólya, author of How to Solve It, wrote, “If you can’t solve a problem, there is an easier problem you can solve. Find it.”
It will make you more productive. Focusing on the details is a great way to help you achieve tasks more efficiently and prevent you from becoming overwhelmed or burning out. Instead of taking on the whole of a project, break it down into small steps. Then one by one, you’ll complete them, gaining momentum each time you mark off your checklist.
That’s a trend that fits hand-in-glove with our own business philosophy. By understanding how tiny details impact your business, you can take it to the next level, no matter what your industry.
Sweating the details with a couturier’s precision can revolutionize your business in a variety of ways:
It will make you more creative. As we like to say, you can make it big by thinking small. By focusing on little details, you open yourself up to small but powerful opportunities to innovate. Examine things carefully and ask yourself to think of one tiny change you could make to improve the things you use on a daily basis. Think of it like working a muscle: the more your challenge your mind, the more creative you can become.
It will make you a better problem solver. Thinking small can help you problem solve with ease. Many professionals assume that every big problem calls for a big-thinking solution. In fact, many times the simplest solution is the best one. As George Pólya, author of How to Solve It, wrote, “If you can’t solve a problem, there is an easier problem you can solve. Find it.”
It will make you more productive. Focusing on the details is a great way to help you achieve tasks more efficiently and prevent you from becoming overwhelmed or burning out. Instead of taking on the whole of a project, break it down into small steps. Then one by one, you’ll complete them, gaining momentum each time you mark off your checklist.
January 17, 2013
Small Tips for Big Growth
As you might have read in our book, THE POWER OF SMALL: Why Little Things Make All the Difference, many great businesses have made it big by thinking small. Whether they’ve come up with a breakthrough product by addressing one of life’s previously ignored little details, or they’ve built a small business one tiny step at a time, thinking small has been the key to establishing countless successful companies, including the one we started more than a decade ago.
But, as we read in the New York Times—and as we’ve heard from a number of our readers over the years—sometimes the next part is the hardest. We’re talking about growth. At first, you might think that in order to grow from a small to big business, you have to shed your small-thinking mentality, but you’d be wrong. Continuing to think small still lies at the heart of your best approach to moving upward.
Here are a few tips for growing the SMALL way, as well as some common pitfalls to avoid.
Celebrate your small wins. When you’re focused on the big end goal, it’s easy to forget how monumental your small accomplishments can be. Take time to recognize your little wins and if you have employees, don’t forget to recognize theirs as well. Doing so will keep everyone motivated.
Think of your small office space as “cozy.” We’ve all read real estate listings promoting a cozy apartment, when what they really mean is cramped. But, when you’re growing your business, embracing those “cozy” quarters can be a real cost saver. One of the biggest mistakes we’ve seen budding entrepreneurs make is upgrading their offices too quickly, moving into chic new spaces only to become over-stressed by the prospect of paying off high rent every month. Bottom line: don’t upsize until it’s absolutely necessary.
Shrink to grow. Jessica Johnson, owner of Johnson Security Bureau, tells the New York Times “One of the lessons I’ve learned this year is sometimes you can grow by subtraction.” In other words, sometimes the best way to grow your business is to look at it with micro-focus and eliminate the little things that aren’t working for you. Then you can continue to grow what works.
But, as we read in the New York Times—and as we’ve heard from a number of our readers over the years—sometimes the next part is the hardest. We’re talking about growth. At first, you might think that in order to grow from a small to big business, you have to shed your small-thinking mentality, but you’d be wrong. Continuing to think small still lies at the heart of your best approach to moving upward.
Here are a few tips for growing the SMALL way, as well as some common pitfalls to avoid.
Celebrate your small wins. When you’re focused on the big end goal, it’s easy to forget how monumental your small accomplishments can be. Take time to recognize your little wins and if you have employees, don’t forget to recognize theirs as well. Doing so will keep everyone motivated.
Think of your small office space as “cozy.” We’ve all read real estate listings promoting a cozy apartment, when what they really mean is cramped. But, when you’re growing your business, embracing those “cozy” quarters can be a real cost saver. One of the biggest mistakes we’ve seen budding entrepreneurs make is upgrading their offices too quickly, moving into chic new spaces only to become over-stressed by the prospect of paying off high rent every month. Bottom line: don’t upsize until it’s absolutely necessary.
Shrink to grow. Jessica Johnson, owner of Johnson Security Bureau, tells the New York Times “One of the lessons I’ve learned this year is sometimes you can grow by subtraction.” In other words, sometimes the best way to grow your business is to look at it with micro-focus and eliminate the little things that aren’t working for you. Then you can continue to grow what works.
January 9, 2013
Going on a Digital Diet Will Do You Good
If you’ve read our books, THE POWER OF NICE and THE POWER OF SMALL you know that we’ve long been proponents of unplugging from time to time. Whether you forego email for a day or two in order to strengthen your communication skills in other areas, or you close up your inbox as a way to de-stress on weekends, going on a little digital diet can do you a lot of good.
Here’s why:
It’s an easy way to make the “write” impression. With the prevalence of email and text messages, our real-life mailboxes have become receptacles for bills and catalogs. How surprising and delightful it is to receive a note written by someone you actually know! The power of a handwritten note, however, goes beyond the thank-you card or letter in the mail. Even something as little as a post-it can help you make it personal. As we read on the SmartBlog on Leadership, one manager’s effort to go the extra inch makes all the difference with her employees. Instead of simply issuing a paycheck, she writes a personal note on new employees’ first paychecks, wishing them, “Welcome to the team! Give your very best and you will be awesome here!” Similar efforts are a little way to show employees that you really care.
Productivity devices aren’t always productive. Did you know almost half of Americans sleep with their mobile phones right beside them? Well, even though we’ve been guilty of this on occasion ourselves, research has shown that smartphones do not make good bedfellows: their glowing screens have been linked to insomnia and 60% of people admit to hearing “phantom” vibrations. Now, some companies are taking note. The Wall Street Journal reports that a number of companies are enacting policies that mandate employees take time away from their work email and company phones in the evenings and on weekends. The result? Employees report feeling more refreshed when they come to work and more productive throughout the day.
Some messages get lost in digital translation. Email, text, and messaging services are often the most convenient ways to communicate with your friends and coworkers, but they’re not always the most appropriate. Many times, your tone can get lost in translation when your message is typed and not spoken. So, make sure to read your email aloud and carefully consider the content before you press “send.” If it sounds harsh or if the topic is sensitive, consider delivering the news in person or over the phone instead.
Here’s why:
It’s an easy way to make the “write” impression. With the prevalence of email and text messages, our real-life mailboxes have become receptacles for bills and catalogs. How surprising and delightful it is to receive a note written by someone you actually know! The power of a handwritten note, however, goes beyond the thank-you card or letter in the mail. Even something as little as a post-it can help you make it personal. As we read on the SmartBlog on Leadership, one manager’s effort to go the extra inch makes all the difference with her employees. Instead of simply issuing a paycheck, she writes a personal note on new employees’ first paychecks, wishing them, “Welcome to the team! Give your very best and you will be awesome here!” Similar efforts are a little way to show employees that you really care.
Productivity devices aren’t always productive. Did you know almost half of Americans sleep with their mobile phones right beside them? Well, even though we’ve been guilty of this on occasion ourselves, research has shown that smartphones do not make good bedfellows: their glowing screens have been linked to insomnia and 60% of people admit to hearing “phantom” vibrations. Now, some companies are taking note. The Wall Street Journal reports that a number of companies are enacting policies that mandate employees take time away from their work email and company phones in the evenings and on weekends. The result? Employees report feeling more refreshed when they come to work and more productive throughout the day.
Some messages get lost in digital translation. Email, text, and messaging services are often the most convenient ways to communicate with your friends and coworkers, but they’re not always the most appropriate. Many times, your tone can get lost in translation when your message is typed and not spoken. So, make sure to read your email aloud and carefully consider the content before you press “send.” If it sounds harsh or if the topic is sensitive, consider delivering the news in person or over the phone instead.
December 21, 2012
Believe in the Power of Small
How many of you intend to make a big New Year’s Resolution for 2013? (How many of you have already resigned to giving up on it?) The truth is: setting a huge goal can be daunting. And what’s worse, it can make you feel like giving up before you’ve begun. Clearly, bigger isn’t better. And there’s magic in the Power of Small.
As we ring in the New Year, we encourage you to make a Small Year’s Resolution instead. For example, instead of vowing to lose 25 pounds, why not make your goal on a week by week basis, aiming to reduce just a half pound down as you go? Little by little, you’ll slowly make progress and before you know it, you’ll have reached your big goal without even thinking about it.
It’s just one of the many ways in which harnessing the power of small can help you transform your life in 2013. The more you take time to notice the little things, the more you will discover that SMALL works in amazing and unexpected ways, in all aspects of life. So before you discount the Power of Small consider some other unusual ways in which it works every day:
Simply wearing red can make you feel more attractive. In a study for the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Andrew Elliot, Tobias Greitemeyer and Adam Pazda found that women were more likely to choose a red shirt over a green shirt when they were planning to meet with an attractive man. Conversely, they were expecting to meet an unattractive man, they were more likely to choose green.
It really is your right side. A study by Kyle Jasmin and Daniel Casasanto in The Psychonomic Bulletin & Review, found that real and fictitious words typed primarily on the right side of a keyboard are interpreted more positively than those typed on the left.
As we ring in the New Year, we encourage you to make a Small Year’s Resolution instead. For example, instead of vowing to lose 25 pounds, why not make your goal on a week by week basis, aiming to reduce just a half pound down as you go? Little by little, you’ll slowly make progress and before you know it, you’ll have reached your big goal without even thinking about it.
It’s just one of the many ways in which harnessing the power of small can help you transform your life in 2013. The more you take time to notice the little things, the more you will discover that SMALL works in amazing and unexpected ways, in all aspects of life. So before you discount the Power of Small consider some other unusual ways in which it works every day:
Simply wearing red can make you feel more attractive. In a study for the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Andrew Elliot, Tobias Greitemeyer and Adam Pazda found that women were more likely to choose a red shirt over a green shirt when they were planning to meet with an attractive man. Conversely, they were expecting to meet an unattractive man, they were more likely to choose green.
It really is your right side. A study by Kyle Jasmin and Daniel Casasanto in The Psychonomic Bulletin & Review, found that real and fictitious words typed primarily on the right side of a keyboard are interpreted more positively than those typed on the left.
December 13, 2012
Shaking Up Your Routine Can Spice Up Your Marriage
Conventional wisdom says: “marriage takes work.” But, what if we told you that there’s another ingredient to a long, lasting, and happy marriage—one that’s a lot more fun. According to new research, happy relationships need the element of surprise.
The researchers who conducted the 15-year study recently highlighted in the New York Times, found that simply doing a new little activity with your spouse can have a positive effect on your mood. As the Times reports:
Surprise is a potent force. When something novel occurs, we tend to pay attention, to appreciate the experience or circumstance, and to remember it. We are less likely to take our marriage for granted when it continues to deliver strong emotional reactions in us. Also, uncertainty sometimes enhances the pleasure of positive events.
That’s why scientists theorize that newly empty-nesters experience the same “happiness bump” as newlyweds. Once again, they begin to learn new things about one another. And those surprises can reignite the thrill of love once more.
But, even if the kids are still at home, you can still experience the benefits of novelty. Simple activities like visiting a place you’ve never been, going out dancing, playing a new sport together can have the same effects. And science proves it. As the Times explains, a well-known study by Arthur Aaron found that the couples who engaged in the exciting new activities together reported greater satisfaction in their marriage than those who engaged in pleasant or familiar ones.
In other words: don’t get stuck in a rut! While there is certainly comfort in a familiar routine, a good marriage can get even better when you inject it with a little something new together. So, what better excuse to get small and get going? You and your spouse just might surprise each other when you break out of your routine.
The researchers who conducted the 15-year study recently highlighted in the New York Times, found that simply doing a new little activity with your spouse can have a positive effect on your mood. As the Times reports:
Surprise is a potent force. When something novel occurs, we tend to pay attention, to appreciate the experience or circumstance, and to remember it. We are less likely to take our marriage for granted when it continues to deliver strong emotional reactions in us. Also, uncertainty sometimes enhances the pleasure of positive events.
That’s why scientists theorize that newly empty-nesters experience the same “happiness bump” as newlyweds. Once again, they begin to learn new things about one another. And those surprises can reignite the thrill of love once more.
But, even if the kids are still at home, you can still experience the benefits of novelty. Simple activities like visiting a place you’ve never been, going out dancing, playing a new sport together can have the same effects. And science proves it. As the Times explains, a well-known study by Arthur Aaron found that the couples who engaged in the exciting new activities together reported greater satisfaction in their marriage than those who engaged in pleasant or familiar ones.
In other words: don’t get stuck in a rut! While there is certainly comfort in a familiar routine, a good marriage can get even better when you inject it with a little something new together. So, what better excuse to get small and get going? You and your spouse just might surprise each other when you break out of your routine.
