Dianne Bright's Blog - Posts Tagged "faith"
Moms Mysteriously Gone Missing
Parenting Tip: Your hard work will pay off; someday your kids will take care of you.
Sometimes it feels that your own identity has gone missing, like you’re one of those puppies on the mailboxes shouting out “Reward, $150.” You know your life is moving forward on the calendar, but you question what you’re actually accomplishing during this busy season.
The mortgage slowly gets paid down, the cars are both running, and most of your basic needs and wants are met. But caring for everyone else around the clock 24-7 leaves you feeling a bit lost in the midst of the chaos.
In spite of your best efforts to juggle it all, it can feel like you're getting a busy signal or an out-of-office auto email response. As moms, our lives have been put on hold, and we can't seem to reconcile the fact that another year has just flown by.
Most moms can relate to the automated operator who plays that annoying music after giving you twelve prompts to choose from five different languages. You’ve been waiting for twenty minutes before realizing you’ve chosen the wrong prompt. It’s not that you planned to lose yourself in so many ways; it just sort of happened.
Here are three ways that moms feel their lives have been temporarily suspended.
First, moms lose a sense of their calendars. It seems unbelievable that school starts at the same time every year and before you know it, everyone is attending the year-end luau party. Included in this super time warp is the involuntary donation of your own personal schedule.
This includes a variety of activities from taxi-cabbing the kids all over town, volunteering at school(s), doing non-stop laundry (especially during baseball season), and grocery shopping, etc. You may not remember what it feels like to eat your toast and to drink your coffee while they’re still hot because your schedule doesn’t really include time for "just you" anymore.
Second, you no longer have any personal privacy. I thought it sounded funny when other moms would talk about how they couldn't even go to the bathroom by themselves anymore. But with three kids of my own now, I totally understand what that means.
Then, there's the family bed where the little ones run in with nightmares, hunger pains, a bloody nose, a request for help with potty-duties, and a plethora of other excuses. Taking a bath has become a limited luxury as well. As soon as they see me in the tub, they launch over the side like little seals (*this was written when mine were little). Then I end up getting out so they can play with the bubbles, LOL.
The third way that life has changed is by the loss of your own farfetched dreams. Wanting to attend culinary school, to visit fabulous gardens in Versailles, or the goal of running a marathon can all get pushed to the sidelines. Now, it’s all about supporting their future aspirations.
Is there really any way you could fit in French lessons or a fancy trip to Paris just for yourself? What about that dream to write a book or to start your own business? In between helping the kids with art projects and packing lunches and snacks for the day's outings, it seems there isn’t really any time for your own dreamy objectives.
But don’t despair. The amazing thing about moms (and dads) is that despite these seemingly large losses, we see them as huge gains. Our crazy little thieves of space and time are the most valuable people in our lives, so we press on and stay the course even when quitting sometimes feels like the easiest response.
Instead of being angry and hostile at what we've put on hold, we plan more meals and give out more hugs. We buy more Band-Aids and more chocolate milk. We're selfless servants, even though our jobs are really hard and underappreciated.
Remember that this is just a season and someday we’ll get back to putting ourselves first. Besides, one day in the not too distant future, our kids will be taking care of us.
Excerpt from: Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot
Bright has written for a variety of magazines and professional blogs, including Scholastic's Parent & Child. Her first novel, SOUL READER, came out in April, 2015. Her second novel, BLOOD TOWERS, comes out at the end of this year.
Sometimes it feels that your own identity has gone missing, like you’re one of those puppies on the mailboxes shouting out “Reward, $150.” You know your life is moving forward on the calendar, but you question what you’re actually accomplishing during this busy season.
The mortgage slowly gets paid down, the cars are both running, and most of your basic needs and wants are met. But caring for everyone else around the clock 24-7 leaves you feeling a bit lost in the midst of the chaos.
In spite of your best efforts to juggle it all, it can feel like you're getting a busy signal or an out-of-office auto email response. As moms, our lives have been put on hold, and we can't seem to reconcile the fact that another year has just flown by.
Most moms can relate to the automated operator who plays that annoying music after giving you twelve prompts to choose from five different languages. You’ve been waiting for twenty minutes before realizing you’ve chosen the wrong prompt. It’s not that you planned to lose yourself in so many ways; it just sort of happened.
Here are three ways that moms feel their lives have been temporarily suspended.
First, moms lose a sense of their calendars. It seems unbelievable that school starts at the same time every year and before you know it, everyone is attending the year-end luau party. Included in this super time warp is the involuntary donation of your own personal schedule.
This includes a variety of activities from taxi-cabbing the kids all over town, volunteering at school(s), doing non-stop laundry (especially during baseball season), and grocery shopping, etc. You may not remember what it feels like to eat your toast and to drink your coffee while they’re still hot because your schedule doesn’t really include time for "just you" anymore.
Second, you no longer have any personal privacy. I thought it sounded funny when other moms would talk about how they couldn't even go to the bathroom by themselves anymore. But with three kids of my own now, I totally understand what that means.
Then, there's the family bed where the little ones run in with nightmares, hunger pains, a bloody nose, a request for help with potty-duties, and a plethora of other excuses. Taking a bath has become a limited luxury as well. As soon as they see me in the tub, they launch over the side like little seals (*this was written when mine were little). Then I end up getting out so they can play with the bubbles, LOL.
The third way that life has changed is by the loss of your own farfetched dreams. Wanting to attend culinary school, to visit fabulous gardens in Versailles, or the goal of running a marathon can all get pushed to the sidelines. Now, it’s all about supporting their future aspirations.
Is there really any way you could fit in French lessons or a fancy trip to Paris just for yourself? What about that dream to write a book or to start your own business? In between helping the kids with art projects and packing lunches and snacks for the day's outings, it seems there isn’t really any time for your own dreamy objectives.
But don’t despair. The amazing thing about moms (and dads) is that despite these seemingly large losses, we see them as huge gains. Our crazy little thieves of space and time are the most valuable people in our lives, so we press on and stay the course even when quitting sometimes feels like the easiest response.
Instead of being angry and hostile at what we've put on hold, we plan more meals and give out more hugs. We buy more Band-Aids and more chocolate milk. We're selfless servants, even though our jobs are really hard and underappreciated.
Remember that this is just a season and someday we’ll get back to putting ourselves first. Besides, one day in the not too distant future, our kids will be taking care of us.
Excerpt from: Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot
Bright has written for a variety of magazines and professional blogs, including Scholastic's Parent & Child. Her first novel, SOUL READER, came out in April, 2015. Her second novel, BLOOD TOWERS, comes out at the end of this year.
There's Always Time for One More Kiss
Parenting/Marriage Tip: Never turn down a hug or kiss from a loved one.
As I raced off to my step class, already ten minutes late, my husband allowed the kids to run out to my car for one more kiss. I begrudgingly puckered up my lips as each one of my three kids excitedly craned their necks up to my window (this was back when they were little; now my son is taller than I am). My youngest could hardly reach my lips, as I giraffed my neck out to meet hers.
After driving off one minute later, I realized how silly my attitude had been. I was ashamed that I'd felt too busy to accept enthusiastic kisses from my kids. Life is way too short to postpone hugs or kisses from anyone important to us. There's always time for one more kiss.
If your spouse wants to snuggle for ten more minutes, the other stuff can wait. If your kids want to kick the soccer ball out in the backyard for five more minutes, it's worth holding off on dinner for a little while. Even if your dog just wants to extend playing fetch in the morning before you head off to work, try to indulge her with the meaningful attention.
Love. Family. Laughter. These are the things we need to invest in—and what better way than through a hug or a kiss? They sort of just happen during serendipitous moments throughout the day. So if we don't slow down long enough to capture them, they disappear like time itself.
Some moments are priceless. When a butterfly floats by and we're too focused on the red light in front of us, we miss seeing the miracle that the caterpillar underwent. Or if we can’t make time for five-second kisses and one-minute hugs, especially with plump and expressive two-year-old lips, we miss out. The moment is gone!
As moms, we juggle so much that it's impossible to embrace every single special moment. Otherwise, tons of stuff wouldn't get done.
However, it's important to make time for one more kiss or one more special hug because someday, we may not get as many unsolicited offers. Let’s capture them now, so we can store them up in our treasure trove of memories.
*This essay is from Bright's book of parenting essays: Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse (With a Glass of Merlot). She wrote for Scholastic for 2 years and published her first novel, SOUL READER, in 2015. She recently finished writing her second novel, BLOOD TOWERS (coming soon), and enjoys reviewing James Patterson books, via his assistant, Sean.
Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot
As I raced off to my step class, already ten minutes late, my husband allowed the kids to run out to my car for one more kiss. I begrudgingly puckered up my lips as each one of my three kids excitedly craned their necks up to my window (this was back when they were little; now my son is taller than I am). My youngest could hardly reach my lips, as I giraffed my neck out to meet hers.
After driving off one minute later, I realized how silly my attitude had been. I was ashamed that I'd felt too busy to accept enthusiastic kisses from my kids. Life is way too short to postpone hugs or kisses from anyone important to us. There's always time for one more kiss.
If your spouse wants to snuggle for ten more minutes, the other stuff can wait. If your kids want to kick the soccer ball out in the backyard for five more minutes, it's worth holding off on dinner for a little while. Even if your dog just wants to extend playing fetch in the morning before you head off to work, try to indulge her with the meaningful attention.
Love. Family. Laughter. These are the things we need to invest in—and what better way than through a hug or a kiss? They sort of just happen during serendipitous moments throughout the day. So if we don't slow down long enough to capture them, they disappear like time itself.
Some moments are priceless. When a butterfly floats by and we're too focused on the red light in front of us, we miss seeing the miracle that the caterpillar underwent. Or if we can’t make time for five-second kisses and one-minute hugs, especially with plump and expressive two-year-old lips, we miss out. The moment is gone!
As moms, we juggle so much that it's impossible to embrace every single special moment. Otherwise, tons of stuff wouldn't get done.
However, it's important to make time for one more kiss or one more special hug because someday, we may not get as many unsolicited offers. Let’s capture them now, so we can store them up in our treasure trove of memories.
*This essay is from Bright's book of parenting essays: Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse (With a Glass of Merlot). She wrote for Scholastic for 2 years and published her first novel, SOUL READER, in 2015. She recently finished writing her second novel, BLOOD TOWERS (coming soon), and enjoys reviewing James Patterson books, via his assistant, Sean.
Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot
Almost...
Some days, the condition of "almost" can pull us down to the depths of the sea. Not by actual iron shackles, of course.
But metaphorically speaking, as writers trying to make it in the world of publishing and marketing, it gets tough. A numbers game, where the odds are never in our favor.
If you've been at the game for a while, you get what I mean. After questioning my purpose as a writer recently, I asked myself, "Should I just go back to teaching?" But, I've come to realize I'm okay with a pocketful of "almost" adventures compared to never having tried in the first place.
Here are a plethora of "almost" moments you might relate to:
1) I almost drowned during that killer set of waves surfing in San Diego before a dolphin saved me;
2) I almost died falling down that boulder face upside down while repelling out at Joshua Tree;
3) I almost died of thirst climbing the Pyramid of the Sun in Mexico City;
4) I almost got attacked by a host of wild monkeys in the southern part of Japan while trying to get my camera to work;
5) I almost got eaten by a thresher shark in Puerto Rico out scuba diving off St. Thomas;
6) I almost crashed into my husband while parasailing off the coast of Maui (we were actually just trying to make out in the clouds);
7) I almost lost a limb after a jellyfish stung me in Oahu (kidding--just my dignity after a surfer told my husband to pee on my leg);
8) I almost crashed in the Atlantic Ocean on my way home from the Ukraine;
9) I almost lost my return ticket looking at all the cool artwork in Paris (I could seriously move there tomorrow);
10) and last but not least-- I almost gave up on my writing dreams after interminable rejection emails/letters.
But if I hadn't endured the trek to the bottom of the sea, I wouldn't be writing this now or formatting book #2 of my Soul Reader Trilogy, or pitching my #ya fantasy/novel: Blood Towers to a gazillion agents and publishers.
The point of this somewhat exaggerated post (though I did actually visit all those places) is to NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!
Keep writing!
--Dianne :)
Soul Reader
But metaphorically speaking, as writers trying to make it in the world of publishing and marketing, it gets tough. A numbers game, where the odds are never in our favor.
If you've been at the game for a while, you get what I mean. After questioning my purpose as a writer recently, I asked myself, "Should I just go back to teaching?" But, I've come to realize I'm okay with a pocketful of "almost" adventures compared to never having tried in the first place.
Here are a plethora of "almost" moments you might relate to:
1) I almost drowned during that killer set of waves surfing in San Diego before a dolphin saved me;
2) I almost died falling down that boulder face upside down while repelling out at Joshua Tree;
3) I almost died of thirst climbing the Pyramid of the Sun in Mexico City;
4) I almost got attacked by a host of wild monkeys in the southern part of Japan while trying to get my camera to work;
5) I almost got eaten by a thresher shark in Puerto Rico out scuba diving off St. Thomas;
6) I almost crashed into my husband while parasailing off the coast of Maui (we were actually just trying to make out in the clouds);
7) I almost lost a limb after a jellyfish stung me in Oahu (kidding--just my dignity after a surfer told my husband to pee on my leg);
8) I almost crashed in the Atlantic Ocean on my way home from the Ukraine;
9) I almost lost my return ticket looking at all the cool artwork in Paris (I could seriously move there tomorrow);
10) and last but not least-- I almost gave up on my writing dreams after interminable rejection emails/letters.
But if I hadn't endured the trek to the bottom of the sea, I wouldn't be writing this now or formatting book #2 of my Soul Reader Trilogy, or pitching my #ya fantasy/novel: Blood Towers to a gazillion agents and publishers.
The point of this somewhat exaggerated post (though I did actually visit all those places) is to NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!
Keep writing!
--Dianne :)
Soul Reader
