Dianne Bright's Blog - Posts Tagged "moms"

Parenting Tip: Be real with other moms so they’re not fake with you.

As moms, we try way too hard to do it all. We wear an imaginary cape that says “Super-Mom.” Then when other people see us, they think, "Wow, she's amazing. I wish I could do it all like she does." The super-mom cape makes us feel invincible, so we put up our guard and don't let others into our home to see the dirty tile and the spills on the table from breakfast.

The problem with wearing the cape is that it limits the depth of our relationships. When one mom sees a super-mom, she thinks, "Well, I can't let her know what I'm really like because then she won't think much of me." But this actually hinders certain kinds of friendships– the deeper ones.

Another sad truth about super-moms is that they feel they have to be tough all the time, carrying the world on their shoulders like the Titan named Atlas, from Greek mythology. But the truth is that no one can carry the world besides God, and even He rested on the seventh day.

So try this. When you feel tired or sad, just let yourself feel tired or sad. When you struggle repeatedly with your spouse, just be honest about it. You might just need to meet with a counselor for a few months or simply get started with a book about good communication. On days when you feel like you ordered your kids from the wrong catalog, call a close friend and talk about it. She’ll probably exchange a monster-alien story about her kids too.

If your debts are overwhelming you and you just can't keep up with the Jones family next door, just stop trying so hard. Let the feeling that you have to do it all just melt away so you can get back to living your own life. You can't hold it all together by spending what you don’t have or by going a hundred miles a second trying to change that reality. You will eventually burn out.

When we wear our super-mom capes, we forget to be vulnerable with other moms. This makes us appear invincible but really makes us the exact opposite. A true friendship means you are there for each other during celebratory times and through the trials as well.

Recently a neighbor and I were chatting while the kids played out front. I hugged her as she cried over the loss of her mom and a dear friend. And just a few weeks before that, I shed tears of exhaustion and frustration about how I felt like a failure as a parent. She listened and reminded me that no parent is perfect. The result was a stronger friendship for both of us because we had taken off our super-mom capes.

Of course, the price of being fake is that we will be lonely women. We may have a list of acquaintances, such as our work-out buddies at the gym or our digital acquaintances on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

But try not to miss out on the more significant ones that will help you to get through life’s questions and challenges. Good friends know you from the inside out and value you just for being you. You don’t need to look different for them or act a certain way to impress them.

It makes me think of the Winnie the Pooh friends. Rabbit is a grump, but his friends still value him. Eeyore is pessimistic and pensive, but his friends accept him for who he is. Tigger is the bounciest of all, but even Rabbit learns to love him with his bounces even more than without them.

Piglet is timid and scared, but with his friends' help, he too can be brave like the rest of the clan. Owl is ostentatious and prideful, but his friends take him as wise. Roo is brave and adventurous even though he’s so little. Kanga is strong and trustworthy– holding them all together under Christopher Robin's great leadership.

These are traits we need to have with our own friends: acceptance, trust, and forgiveness. We need to make sure we stick together and that we truly get to know one another. If you're friends with a super-mom, you can start by taking off your own cape first. When she sees that you're being real with her, hopefully she'll do the same with you in return.

Dianne Bright wrote for Scholastic's Parent & Child magazine for two years before delving into fiction. This excerpt is essay #5 from Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse (2013). Her first novel, Soul Reader, came out in 2015. Follow her on social media: @dibright and Facebook.com/AuthorDianneBright.

Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot

Parenting Tip: Take risks to keep life edgy.

Life is short, so there's no reason to hold back from your dreams, passions, and God-given talents. If you were to die tomorrow, wouldn't you want to know you had given this life your best shot in every area?

If you’ve had Psychology 101, you’ve heard of the term "fight or flight." Put simply, when faced with a threatening situation, you either stay there to fight or you run like hell. I experienced this with surfing a while back.

When a huge set of waves surged in, the response was either to fight it and catch one of the big gnarly waves or to duck-dive under it at the calm point, escaping the thunderous crash. Since I'm not a very good surfer, when faced with a really big wave, I usually just dive under– to be on the safe side. The smaller waves just feel safer to me.

In life though, you sometimes have to stay and fight. Obviously, avoiding imminent danger is a rational choice. But the truth is that many of us shy away from really good opportunities– because they make us nervous or afraid. Running away can feel safer sometimes. But what if by fleeing the scene all the time, you begin to suppress a big part of who you are?

You can't always be an observer. Sometimes you just have to go for it! Those medium-sized waves I do catch make me feel energetic and brave. I’ve had similar feelings while soaring up in a hot air balloon in San Diego, parasailing in Maui, rappelling from boulders in Joshua Tree Park, trekking through the Pyramids in Mexico City, and squeezing through some very strange underground monastery tunnels in Russia.

Taking risks doesn't have to involve life-threatening measures or even take you far from home. Thankfully, you can feel thrilled by playing the drums in a local band. Or taking an online course on the stock exchange. DAY TRADING DIVA has a cool ring to it! But you're too washed up, right? Just a mom who puts diapers on the baby and decides between mac-and-cheese and Hamburger Helper? Whatever! Just go for it, Girl!

What about that beautiful butterfly tattoo you've contemplated for the last decade? Why not now? You could slip on a banana peel or die of an ice cream overdose next week. You never know. So it's time to get a little bit crazy, now, TODAY!

Why not dance your heart out at that upcoming wedding where most people will be too intoxicated to care what you look like anyway? Or even simpler, just give a compliment to that nice person at the drive-through for handing you your coffee with a smile.

Write your best friend a card telling her why you love having her in your life. Leave a note with rose petals telling your spouse that he’s hot. Give your mail carrier a Starbucks gift card on a summer day so she can go and get a Frappuccino during her break. But you’re not really that type– to just give, for no reason. So what, change that today!

Sometimes people just need to be inspired. Your best friend longs to go sky diving but panics at the thought of her parachute not opening. Just text her some local sky diving ads every day for a month until she finally goes, along with some actual statistics about how safe it really is. But that freaks you out… what if she dies and leaves her family? Then you’d be responsible.

All right… give her the schedule for the French cooking class at the junior college instead so she’ll mesh with the locals when she visits Paris someday. Or to mix things up, sign her up for a couple’s massage class to spice up her marriage. Tell her to wrap the schedule in a new pair of thong undies. A trip to the mall anyone?

Next, write out a cool eulogy (ahead of time, obviously). I want my family to describe me as brave, adventurous, and funny. I hope they’ll write something about how I encouraged them to pursue their own dreams too. That’s why I encourage my kids to write their own books, design new game-boards, search the night-sky for new unnamed stars, and invent new gadgets that will someday save moms lots of time and energy.

I hope people remember me as someone who ate gloriously too. Of course as moms, we are usually on a tighter budget than some. Plus we tend to put our kids ahead of ourselves. But that doesn’t mean we can’t head out for Indian or Thai food every once in a while. The kids can eat some white rice with plain chicken and veggies while we devour our favorite curry dish!

Try to live outside the box. Why not run through the rain in your swimsuit to walk down the street to get the mail (at 2Am when no one is up watching you)? Or you could try your hand at property investments because you happen to be great at math– plus, you’re already home a good bit, with time to research.

And another thing, wear what makes you feel amazing! Sometimes we opt for the t-shirt and jeans routine because it's coziest; however, that blue and black shirt with the ruffles adds a bounce to your step. So grab some fun jewelry and some sizzling lip gloss as well.

Now when it comes to hanging out with your significant other, kiss him like you really mean it. Don't make him guess how you feel about him. Even if the kids are freaking out screaming and there’s barely any time for sex, find a little hide-out and smooch– for real, not just a lame kiss on the cheek.

Life is short. As moms, we know this better than anyone, as we observe our kids outgrowing their pants and shoes way too fast. We also see the war wounds of newly present wrinkles and sun-marks on our face. So why wait? Let's GO FOR IT now and encourage others to do the same!

Do one thing for yourself today that celebrates your beauty, giftedness, and passion. One more thing and then I’ll shut up, I swear. Eat your favorite dessert for breakfast tomorrow! Why not? After all, as my middle child likes to say, “YOLO!"

Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot

For more parenting tips, check out MOMMY'S HIDING IN THE TREEHOUSE, a compilation of humorous parenting essays by Author Dianne Bright. Before delving into fiction, she wrote for Scholastic's Parent & Child magazine and blog. Her first novel, SOUL READER, came out April, 2015.

Parenting Tip: Your hard work will pay off; someday your kids will take care of you.

Sometimes it feels that your own identity has gone missing, like you’re one of those puppies on the mailboxes shouting out “Reward, $150.” You know your life is moving forward on the calendar, but you question what you’re actually accomplishing during this busy season.

The mortgage slowly gets paid down, the cars are both running, and most of your basic needs and wants are met. But caring for everyone else around the clock 24-7 leaves you feeling a bit lost in the midst of the chaos.

In spite of your best efforts to juggle it all, it can feel like you're getting a busy signal or an out-of-office auto email response. As moms, our lives have been put on hold, and we can't seem to reconcile the fact that another year has just flown by.

Most moms can relate to the automated operator who plays that annoying music after giving you twelve prompts to choose from five different languages. You’ve been waiting for twenty minutes before realizing you’ve chosen the wrong prompt. It’s not that you planned to lose yourself in so many ways; it just sort of happened.

Here are three ways that moms feel their lives have been temporarily suspended.

First, moms lose a sense of their calendars. It seems unbelievable that school starts at the same time every year and before you know it, everyone is attending the year-end luau party. Included in this super time warp is the involuntary donation of your own personal schedule.

This includes a variety of activities from taxi-cabbing the kids all over town, volunteering at school(s), doing non-stop laundry (especially during baseball season), and grocery shopping, etc. You may not remember what it feels like to eat your toast and to drink your coffee while they’re still hot because your schedule doesn’t really include time for "just you" anymore.

Second, you no longer have any personal privacy. I thought it sounded funny when other moms would talk about how they couldn't even go to the bathroom by themselves anymore. But with three kids of my own now, I totally understand what that means.

Then, there's the family bed where the little ones run in with nightmares, hunger pains, a bloody nose, a request for help with potty-duties, and a plethora of other excuses. Taking a bath has become a limited luxury as well. As soon as they see me in the tub, they launch over the side like little seals (*this was written when mine were little). Then I end up getting out so they can play with the bubbles, LOL.

The third way that life has changed is by the loss of your own farfetched dreams. Wanting to attend culinary school, to visit fabulous gardens in Versailles, or the goal of running a marathon can all get pushed to the sidelines. Now, it’s all about supporting their future aspirations.

Is there really any way you could fit in French lessons or a fancy trip to Paris just for yourself? What about that dream to write a book or to start your own business? In between helping the kids with art projects and packing lunches and snacks for the day's outings, it seems there isn’t really any time for your own dreamy objectives.

But don’t despair. The amazing thing about moms (and dads) is that despite these seemingly large losses, we see them as huge gains. Our crazy little thieves of space and time are the most valuable people in our lives, so we press on and stay the course even when quitting sometimes feels like the easiest response.

Instead of being angry and hostile at what we've put on hold, we plan more meals and give out more hugs. We buy more Band-Aids and more chocolate milk. We're selfless servants, even though our jobs are really hard and underappreciated.

Remember that this is just a season and someday we’ll get back to putting ourselves first. Besides, one day in the not too distant future, our kids will be taking care of us.

Excerpt from: Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot

Bright has written for a variety of magazines and professional blogs, including Scholastic's Parent & Child. Her first novel, SOUL READER, came out in April, 2015. Her second novel, BLOOD TOWERS, comes out at the end of this year.

Parenting Tip: Accentuate the positives because you are pretty hot, Girlfriend!

Sexy mamas are those who know themselves well and who like what they see in the mirror. Sexiness is a subjective trait. To one person, bigger breasts would be the ultimate goal. However, to another woman, she'd feel sexy if she could just get down to a size seven. Maybe for you, it's your teeth; if you just had straighter and whiter teeth, you'd feel amazing.

Since sexiness is in the eye of the beholder, it's important to focus on what's already in the cards. Maybe you have fantastic abs or a sixteen-year-old butt. Could it be your naturally dark and glowing skin tone?

The goal should be to lower your own unattainable standard, so you can focus on what’s already great. You’ve heard of the adage, “Don’t miss the forest for the trees,” so don’t get lost focusing on the things you don’t have. Instead, try to see the bigger picture.

The sexiest moms are those who are confident. They radiate a sense of calm about who they are on the outside, but even more so, by knowing who they are from the inside. One way to exude self-assurance is to be proud of who you are and of what you've accomplished.

If you've given birth, then you know there's basically nothing you can't do. Furthermore, think of the miracle– that you created a human being. To me, that's the coolest thing I'll ever be able to post onto my list of credentials.

Will my stomach ever return to its natural sleek shape, as in my college days? I don't think so... because even though I frequent the gym and am at a healthy weight for my height, it just feels different (you totally know what I mean, right?). Do I still feel sexy in light of this bodily change? Absolutely! And you should value your body too, in spite of its changes over the years.

Moms have the potential of being some of the hottest women out there. If you believe that you are sexy, other people will see it too. In college, I remember a very average looking girl in my photo class. She was so enamored with a self-portrait she'd taken. She expressed to the class how she loved the picture simply because it was of herself.

It seemed odd to me back then, but several years later, I've forgotten her name, but still remember what she looks like, glasses and all. Her self-confidence made me believe she was special. We as moms need to believe we're special too. When we own that belief, sexiness follows. Own it, Ladies! Believe you’re okay just the way you are!

Excerpt from: Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot *new cover on Amazon

Bright has written for a variety of magazines and professional blogs, including Scholastic's Parent & Child. Her first novel, SOUL READER, came out April, 2015.

Parenting Tip: Do what it takes to get the job done. Coffee helps.

"To be, or not to be, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles..." and yadda-yadda-yadda. Shakespeare was going somewhere deep with his existentialist quandary in Hamlet.

But my question as a mom of three school-aged kids is way more simplistic: "To caff or not to caff?" I've gone back and forth you know, switching between caffeinated coffee and decaf.

And I've concluded that I really do need at least one big mug of strong caffeinated coffee to make it through the morning. By the afternoon, I'm pretty good with a tall glass of ice-filled Coke (which my dentist dissuades me from drinking) or unsweetened iced tea.

Let's face it Moms and Dads, how else are we supposed to get through the day without the caffeine? When I try to switch back to decaf, I feel like my brain goes on vacay to some tropical island, which sounds pretty pleasant except for the fact that I actually have to stay awake to do laundry, taxi-cab, create snacks, and help my kiddos with homework.

Oddly, my husband noticed a personality change when I stopped drinking so much coffee between graduate programs. I think he liked the decaf-me better, but like I said, it's pretty much a non-negotiable.

My doctor encourages me to limit my caffeine intake as well, since too much caffeine adds a lot of stress to our bodies, as evidenced by the low that hits around eleven o'clock when the body and brain cry out for a refill.

Plus caffeine can of course make you a bit jittery too, which has personality changing implications. Then again, if it makes you more animated and enthusiastic, that could be a good thing, right?

For some of the active thinkers out there, also known as "worriers," also known as “moms” (dads are off the hook on this one and could stand to worry a little bit more), caffeine can keep you awake at night, if you drink coffee too late in the day. But, if you're like most parents of younger kids, you're so tired that you can hardly even keep your eyes open by the time you collapse into bed around midnight.

The real question is whether or not caffeine makes you happy. For me, it's not possible to quit drinking caffeinated coffee at this point in my life. I'm happier when I drink it because I feel more normal. For example, it helps me to keep my checkbook up to date and keeps my mind going so I can actually finish editing a plethora of current writing projects.

Coffee's bold aroma makes me sing a joyful tune as I hear the drum beat of my coffee maker in the morning. Those first few sips of hot brew are gentle reminders that each new day starts with a clean slate, so I can let go of yesterday’s shortcomings.

Just like most things in life, you have to weigh the pros and cons. For me the pros for drinking caffeinated coffee outweigh the cons, so I'm going to keep on brewing the caff. “To caff or not to caff?” is up to you, but for me, it's a no-brainer.

Dianne Bright spent two years writing for Scholastic's Parent & Child mag and blog and published SOUL READER in April, 2015. For more essays like this one, check out
Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot

Parenting/Marriage Tip: Never turn down a hug or kiss from a loved one.

As I raced off to my step class, already ten minutes late, my husband allowed the kids to run out to my car for one more kiss. I begrudgingly puckered up my lips as each one of my three kids excitedly craned their necks up to my window (this was back when they were little; now my son is taller than I am). My youngest could hardly reach my lips, as I giraffed my neck out to meet hers.

After driving off one minute later, I realized how silly my attitude had been. I was ashamed that I'd felt too busy to accept enthusiastic kisses from my kids. Life is way too short to postpone hugs or kisses from anyone important to us. There's always time for one more kiss.

If your spouse wants to snuggle for ten more minutes, the other stuff can wait. If your kids want to kick the soccer ball out in the backyard for five more minutes, it's worth holding off on dinner for a little while. Even if your dog just wants to extend playing fetch in the morning before you head off to work, try to indulge her with the meaningful attention.

Love. Family. Laughter. These are the things we need to invest in—and what better way than through a hug or a kiss? They sort of just happen during serendipitous moments throughout the day. So if we don't slow down long enough to capture them, they disappear like time itself.

Some moments are priceless. When a butterfly floats by and we're too focused on the red light in front of us, we miss seeing the miracle that the caterpillar underwent. Or if we can’t make time for five-second kisses and one-minute hugs, especially with plump and expressive two-year-old lips, we miss out. The moment is gone!

As moms, we juggle so much that it's impossible to embrace every single special moment. Otherwise, tons of stuff wouldn't get done.

However, it's important to make time for one more kiss or one more special hug because someday, we may not get as many unsolicited offers. Let’s capture them now, so we can store them up in our treasure trove of memories.

*This essay is from Bright's book of parenting essays: Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse (With a Glass of Merlot). She wrote for Scholastic for 2 years and published her first novel, SOUL READER, in 2015. She recently finished writing her second novel, BLOOD TOWERS (coming soon), and enjoys reviewing James Patterson books, via his assistant, Sean.

Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot

Some days, the condition of "almost" can pull us down to the depths of the sea. Not by actual iron shackles, of course.

But metaphorically speaking, as writers trying to make it in the world of publishing and marketing, it gets tough. A numbers game, where the odds are never in our favor.

If you've been at the game for a while, you get what I mean. After questioning my purpose as a writer recently, I asked myself, "Should I just go back to teaching?" But, I've come to realize I'm okay with a pocketful of "almost" adventures compared to never having tried in the first place.

Here are a plethora of "almost" moments you might relate to:

1) I almost drowned during that killer set of waves surfing in San Diego before a dolphin saved me;
2) I almost died falling down that boulder face upside down while repelling out at Joshua Tree;
3) I almost died of thirst climbing the Pyramid of the Sun in Mexico City;
4) I almost got attacked by a host of wild monkeys in the southern part of Japan while trying to get my camera to work;
5) I almost got eaten by a thresher shark in Puerto Rico out scuba diving off St. Thomas;
6) I almost crashed into my husband while parasailing off the coast of Maui (we were actually just trying to make out in the clouds);
7) I almost lost a limb after a jellyfish stung me in Oahu (kidding--just my dignity after a surfer told my husband to pee on my leg);
8) I almost crashed in the Atlantic Ocean on my way home from the Ukraine;
9) I almost lost my return ticket looking at all the cool artwork in Paris (I could seriously move there tomorrow);
10) and last but not least-- I almost gave up on my writing dreams after interminable rejection emails/letters.

But if I hadn't endured the trek to the bottom of the sea, I wouldn't be writing this now or formatting book #2 of my Soul Reader Trilogy, or pitching my #ya fantasy/novel: Blood Towers to a gazillion agents and publishers.

The point of this somewhat exaggerated post (though I did actually visit all those places) is to NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!

Keep writing!

--Dianne :)
Soul Reader

Most people haven't heard of me as a mainstream author yet, and I'm okay with being an indie gal. But sometimes, it's just nice to feel noticed.

This happened after one of my Barnes & Noble book signing events for my first novel, SOUL READER. A lady came up to me in the bathroom asking, "Aren't you the lady from that book signing event?" I almost died from shock, giving a shy, "Yeah, that was me."

Occasionally someone who isn't from my extended family or my local friend-base will bump into me, sharing, "I really liked your book," which is cool too. But, the truth is, for the most part, I'm just that gal who blends in with the crowd.

Are you connecting with me now? Do you ever feel small and insignificant, like "What big accomplishment can I even do/make before I die?"

But hold on, what was the title again? Oh yeah... my point for fellow readers and authors: NEVER GIVE UP! Whatever you're doing in life. Regardless of what you earn. No matter where you live. Or what you look like. Or how smart you feel. Or what you believe other people think about you.

This especially applies to moms--EXCLAMATION MARK! I love to remind us that our lives matter too. Just for bringing little people into this world and raising them with a smile most days.

Sometimes, amidst the piles of laundry and dishes, our dreams get set on the back-burner. We get behind on our to-do lists and our reading piles as well.

As a line from my upcoming young adult novel says, "Dreams fuel the world." The mom tells her son those words to remind him she believes in him. So, don't let your dreams fade too far away. Sure, it's okay to put them off for a while. But if you wait too long, they might never resurface.

What if they could have been possible, if you simply hadn't given up? It's a message we need to pass along to our kids as well. But, is ANYTHING actually possible, or is that an unrealistic message to pass on to the little ones we love? "Here, kids-- drink the Kool Aid," even as chaos and destruction seem the only constants in our world.

Well, even if some things may not feel possible, I'd rather teach them to reach for the stars, instead of doing nothing to make it a better place. Seeking the impossible could be the very thing each one of us needs to get started on the right path.

We can even shoot for the stars by starting off small; then, we can reach for the next one; then the one after that. All of a sudden, we might just see a sky full of wishes, lighting our way.

"But, writing a whole book?" you might ask. "That's so many words." My upcoming young adult novel is 68,470 words, but it never felt too overwhelming, because I simply wrote one word at a time.

One more thing--NEVER GIVE UP! Oh wait, I think I said that already. :0)

*Dianne Bright is the author of SOUL READER and SOUL JUMPER. She has written for a variety of magazines, including Scholastic's Parent and Child. For similar essays, check out her digital parenting book: MOMMY'S HIDING IN THE TREEHOUSE (With a Glass of Merlot).
Soul Reader

To become a writer, you simply have to write, but it's easier said than done. Having readers is great too. But, there's more to it than just sitting down at the computer and tapping the keyboard.

The goal is to be a good writer, but that's pretty subjective, right? Is it possible good writing could be connected with healthy habits? Assuming my theory has some wisdom to it, here are three easy tips to get started.

FIRST, make sure you are eating well. This might sound weird, but food fuels the body and the brain. That means, if you put in good stuff, then you are more likely to produce good writing as well.

Go for leafy greens and fresh fruits and veggies. Combine these with lean meats and other protein rich foods, like low-salt nuts and beans. Cheese slices dipped in hummus is a favorite go-to.

Also, when possible, buy/pick organic to avoid harsh chemicals that can cause lots of weird side effects. Let's not harm those beautiful neurons making their way down to the keyboard.

SECOND, try to fit in some form of exercise every day! This could be a twenty minute walk around the block or some easy twisting on your FitBoard in front of the TV.

Doing sit-ups and push-ups during commercials can get you on the right track as well. You're like, "But I DVR my shows." Fine, fit some in between Netflix binge-watching episodes of Stranger Things and The Hand Maid's Tale. For a feel-cool bonus, add five to ten minutes of free weights after your morning coffee or before climbing into bed at night to stay toned.

For any middle-aged writers/reviewers out there (mentioning this for a friend)--extra muscle mass actually helps to increase bone density and improves joint health too.

THIRD, reduce screen time. I'm the guiltiest of all on this one. But wow, social media eats up way too much of my time. It's great to build our network marketing platforms, especially when it comes to promoting our books/WIPs/blog posts.

But let's take a daily break to rest our eyes by fitting in some afternoon yoga/meditation or a nap. As a reviewer as well as a writer, I love to grab an actual paperback book most days before snuggling into the couch with my afternoon cup of joe (man, I'm starting to sound like my Grandma now).

Hope these tips help! I'd love to hear what works for you. So please, comment below.

*Dianne Bright has written for Scholastic's Parent & Child magazine and blog, along with Today's Christian Woman and Thriving Family. She is the author of SOUL READER and SOUL JUMPER, and her new young adult duology is currently being considered for publication.

Soul Reader

After 200+ queries and ten requests for my full manuscript for consideration, I finally have a literary agent. Her name is Hope, and she gives me hope for the next chapter of my career. Writing isn't for the faint of heart. Anyone who can't take loads of rejection should consider a different job. In some ways, I'd say tenacity is my best character trait, though I'm pretty patient too. Mainly, it's just something in my blood that won't let me give up.

Along the way, it might have made more sense to simply call it quits. My background is in teaching, so it would have been easier to stop putting so much energy into my writing and jump back into that industry. My specific background is in Spanish American Literature and Linguistics (which I do love; don't get me wrong). It's not that I didn't enjoy teaching college students, but I LOVE writing.

It's all been used for the big picture. In my opinion, the pieces of our lives connect together as building blocks preparing us for the next step along the way. That said, I've learned so much from my literary background. Without my previous training, I wouldn't be the writer I am today. Laura Esquivel, Isabel Allende, and Carmen Boullosa gave me a strong foundation for writing fantasy. Magical realism is the equivalent of fantasy in Spanish literature in many ways, with a slightly different shape and voice. I'm currently finishing up the third book in my first series, in which Gabriel Garcia Marquez's over-sized butterflies played a huge role.

If you too have experienced more rejection than you thought possible, just keep hanging on. The voices I listened to, studied, and observed-- like in James Patterson's Master class and throughout Stephen King's ON WRITING kept telling me to press on. So I'm saying the same thing to you. I believe in you even if no one else does. And as a person with great faith (not explicitly a Christian author), I have found hope in two Bible verses along the way.

1) Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

2) Philippians 1: 6, "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Some of you don't believe in God or in the Bible, so these verses may not offer equal encouragement. So, I'll add a few secular quotes to the list that sit next to me at my desk.

3) "Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars, to change the world," Harriet Tubman.

4) "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game," Babe Ruth.

5) "Life is trying things to see if they work," Ray Bradbury.

When you get your next rejection letter, just remember, you're one step closer to the right fit. It's coming for you, so don't give up. Eventually the math works itself out.

DianneBright has written for a variety of magazines and professional blogs, including Scholastic's Parent & Child. She has also written SOUL READER and SOUL JUMPER. Her young adult fantasy duology is on query with her agent, Hope Bolinger.