Vaseem Khan's Blog

Dear colleagues,

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you of my imminent departure from Q Branch. After almost three decades at MI6, I find myself ‘moving on’. I will draw a discreet veil over the precise reason for my exit, but let us, in the interests of expediency, employ that comforting euphemism ‘personal reasons’. Instead of dwelling on the matter, I shall instead use this moment to thank you for your support over the years and to reflect on my time in the Secret Intelligence Service.

Where do I begin? As a young army engineer scouted by the redoubtable M – the man that recruited me? Suffice to say that M made me an offer I could not refuse – the opportunity to apply my love of science and technology to the defence of my country. He neglected, of course, to inform me that the fruits of my labours would be placed into the hands of field agents whose idea of ‘handle with care’ would put a psychotic toddler to shame.

Having said that, it would be churlish of me not to acknowledge the work of said agents, in particular 007, a man whose daredevil missions have defined my own life. When all is said and done, Bond is a man willing to lay down his life for others – and that is no small thing. Yet 007 and his fellow agents will never be feted. They may die in the line of duty, but their sacrifice will never be properly acknowledged. Instead, their lot – and ours – is to suffer the brickbats of self-serving politicians and lickspittle bureaucrats. Our budgets are cut on mindless whims; we are censured for actions sanctioned by civil servants; we are accused of failing to care. Through it all, we persevere. For king and country, for democracy, for a way of life we hold dear. In the words of William Ernest Henley’s Invictus, we remain bloody, but unbowed.

And where next for me, the artist formerly known as Q? For now, I am contemplating a return to my home town, Wickstone-on-Water, a small place less than two hours from London. I am drawn back by the sudden death of a childhood friend. I have not been home for nigh on three decades. I am uncertain what awaits me, but I know that, like a lost salmon, I must now return to my beginnings.

I leave you now with a final thought: trust no one and believe nothing, except in yourself. 

Finally, congratulations to James B. for correctly ascertaining the answer to the puzzle in my previous memo, and for being fortunate enough to be picked at random from all the correct entries. The answer, of course, was 1940 – the year that Captain America Comics #1 was published (though the cover date was March 1941 – apparently that sort of thing was common!). Below you will find this edition’s puzzle. Good luck! 

Sincerely,

Major Boothroyd

Head of Q Branch

P.S. Here is this edition’s puzzle. One ‘winner’ shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. MI6 Archives shall rustle up a book to send to you* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter . . . This month’s puzzle is as follows:

What does MI6’s motto ‘SEMPER OCCULTUS’ mean?

*UK entrants only, alas!

NOTE FROM VASEEM KHAN

This ‘memorandum’ is one of a series that we will be publishing, celebrating the launch of Quantum of Menace, the first mystery featuring Major Boothroyd, Head of Q Branch (aka Q) from the James Bond universe. Pre-orders are very important to a new series, so we would be immensely grateful if you considered pre-ordering the novel. Buy from bookshops big and small and online. Click here for some options.

To keep updated on the progress of Quantum of Menace, and to receive competitions and giveaways with prizes from the Bond-verse,  simply register for my newsletter here . 

You can also receive these updates by registering for the Ian Fleming newsletter by clicking here . 

Dear colleagues,

I recently attended a cross-agency symposium for the Super Soldier 2050 programme, an MOD-led initiative aimed at enhancing the physical and cognitive abilities of our fighting men and women. The programme seeks to emulate our American cousins – the US Pentagon maintain a research budget of almost half a billion dollars per annum directed at ‘soldier enhancement’. The symposium leads me to speculate on how we might upgrade our very own ‘soldiers’ here at MI6 – the field agents of our Double O unit.  

The dream of fashioning superior humans has long plagued military supremoes and scientists alike. Back in the 1920s, Soviet biologist Ilya Ivanovich Ivanov attempted to create a human-ape hybrid, with enhanced strength and pain tolerance. Some speculate that Bolshevik military leaders might have secretly financed his work, hoping for a ‘mutant army’. Ivanov, a pioneer of artificial insemination, duly proceeded with a series of (highly dubious) experiments, but was thwarted by the death of his last captive primate – a luckless orangutan. Some of you may also recall the book – and film – The Men Who Stare at Goats by Jon Ronson, detailing the US Army’s attempts to tap into paranormal human powers, including psychic espionage, mind control and the ability to remotely stop the hearts of goats.

I discussed these potential enhancements with 007. As you might expect, Bond had some pithy observations. ‘Q,’ he told me, ‘if I wanted to remotely stop a goat’s heart I’d just shoot it in the head with a sniper rifle.’ I suppose one cannot fault 007’s logic. 

Finally, congratulations to JOHN B. for correctly ascertaining the answer to the puzzle in my previous memo, and for being fortunate enough to be picked at random from all the correct entries. The answer, of course, was a DeLorean (or DMC DeLorean or DeLorean DMC-12). Below you will find this edition’s puzzle. Good luck! 

Sincerely,

Major Boothroyd

Head of Q Branch

P.S. Here is this edition’s puzzle. One ‘winner’ shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. MI6 Archives shall rustle up a book to send to you* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter . . . This month’s puzzle is as follows: 

In what year was America’s most famous fictional super-soldier introduced?

*UK entrants only, alas!

NOTE FROM VASEEM KHAN

This ‘memorandum’ is one of a series of 12 that we will be publishing, celebrating the launch of Quantum of Menace, the first mystery featuring Major Boothroyd, Head of Q Branch (aka Q) from the James Bond universe. Pre-orders are very important to a new series, so we would be immensely grateful if you considered pre-ordering the novel. Buy from bookshops big and small and online.  Click here for some options.

To keep updated on the progress of Quantum of Menace, and to receive competitions and giveaways with prizes from the Bond-verse,  simply register for my newsletter here . 

You can also receive these updates by registering for the  Ian Fleming newsletter by clicking here . 

Dear colleagues,

Transportation is a vital part of any field operation and at Q Branch we pride ourselves on provisioning our Double Os with the appropriate vehicles for the task at hand. Of course, the definition of the word ‘appropriate’ tends to vary between agents. 007, in particular, seems to believe a mission-oriented vehicle equates to anything that can move him from A to B while wreaking unbridled carnage upon the intervening landscape.   

We will shortly be receiving a selection of new vehicles, each of which will require specific modifications. One is reminded of the veritable fleet of Bentleys that 007 has retired over the years, kitted out with machine guns, tyre slashers, smoke dispensers and, in one memorable instance, a water jet that fired, for a reason that now escapes me, orange paint. (Personally, I have always been rather fond of the Caterham Seven.) It goes without saying that any such modifications requested by our agents will require approval from myself. 

I am further reminded of a joint MI6-CIA mission from the 1950s: Operation Stopwatch. The op was intended to intercept Soviet communications at their army HQ in Berlin, the Russians at the time being considered somewhat bellicose. (As compared to the pussycats they are now.) As part of the mission MI6 purchased a Mercedes-Benz 170S Cabriolet for their man in Berlin: agent Howard Greville. Greville pottered about the city in said vehicle gathering intelligence. And that’s it. No explosions. No high-speed car chases. How I long for the modern field agent to demonstrate a similar pragmatism!

Finally, congratulations to JAMIE A. for correctly ascertaining the answer to the puzzle in my previous memo, and for being fortunate enough to be picked at random from all the correct entries. The answer, of course, was GORT. Below you will find this edition’s puzzle. Good luck! 

Sincerely,

Major Boothroyd

Head of Q Branch

P.S. Here is this edition’s puzzle. One ‘winner’ shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. MI6 Archives shall rustle up a book to send to you* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter . . . This month’s puzzle is as follows: 

Which car from a famous film am I referring to below? (Tell us the make of the car!)

A white-haired wizard conquers time,

Using a four-wheeled chariot of grand design,

On a young apprentice he does rely,

To travel to past and future, where skateboards fly.

*UK entrants only, alas!

NOTE FROM VASEEM KHAN

This ‘memorandum’ is one of a series of 12 that we will be publishing, celebrating the launch of Quantum of Menace, the first mystery featuring Major Boothroyd, Head of Q Branch (aka Q) from the James Bond universe. Pre-orders are very important to a new series, so we would be immensely grateful if you considered pre-ordering the novel. Buy from bookshops big and small and online.  Click here for some options.

To keep updated on the progress of Quantum of Menace, and to receive competitions and giveaways with prizes from the Bond-verse,  simply register for my newsletter here . 

You can also receive these updates by registering for the  Ian Fleming newsletter by clicking here . 

Dear colleagues,

With the new M now firmly in place, it is back to business as usual here at Q Branch. Many of you will have noticed the arrival this week of half a dozen assorted robots, varying from vaguely humanoid in form to distinctly canine. Creative naming is already underway with early offerings including Mrs Thatcher, Bono and Lassie. Our unusual guests are, of course, part of a new programme of testing, to determine the threat level posed by the advent of so-called ‘social robots’. 

Social robots are already active in many theatres. Tens of thousands have been deployed in school settings, in care homes and in military environments. Increasingly, humankind is moving past its fear of a ‘Terminator Armageddon’, the idea that we might all be slaughtered in our beds by robots that resemble Austrian bodybuilders in stolen leather jackets and bad haircuts.

But the truth is that there is much to fear. Robots are, essentially, a mass of circuitry powered by artificial intelligence. They can be hacked. They can be re-tasked to perform nefarious acts. And then there is the ultimate horror scenario. The word robot comes from the Czech word robata meaning forced servitude. How long will intelligent robots decide they’ve had enough of serving their ‘meat-sack’ human masters, inferior in almost every respect? And what will we do about it when the time comes? A question that it is now ourjob to answer. After all, as 007 pointed out to me just yesterday, you cannot incapacitate a robot by ‘kicking it in the bollocks’. 

Finally, congratulations to ANDREW W. for correctly ascertaining the answer to the puzzle in my previous memo, and for being fortunate enough to be picked at random from all the correct entries. The answer, of course, was BERNARD LEE. Below you will find this edition’s puzzle. Good luck!  

Sincerely,

Major Boothroyd

Head of Q Branch

P.S. Here is this edition’s puzzle. One ‘winner’ shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. MI6 Archives shall rustle up a book to send to you* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter . . . This month’s puzzle is as follows: 

In the 1951 science fiction film, The Day The Earth Stood Still, an alien visitor named Klaatu has a robot companion. What was its name?

*UK entrants only, alas!

NOTE FROM VASEEM KHAN

This ‘memorandum’ is one of a series of 12 that we will be publishing, celebrating the launch of Quantum of Menace, the first mystery featuring Major Boothroyd, Head of Q Branch (aka Q) from the James Bond universe. Pre-orders are very important to a new series, so we would be immensely grateful if you considered pre-ordering the novel. Buy from bookshops big and small and online.  Click here for some options.

To keep updated on the progress of Quantum of Menace, and to receive competitions and giveaways with prizes from the Bond-verse,  simply register for my newsletter here . 

You can also receive these updates by registering for the  Ian Fleming newsletter by clicking here . 

Dear colleagues,

Death is a given in this life. In MI6 it is an eventuality that we prepare our field agents for, as best we are able. Out there, in foreign theatres, we operate with the understanding that, despite all our precautions, things may go wrong. What we don’t expect is Death’s scythe to swing in our own back yard. 

It is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to M. As you will know by now, M passed away last week, a heart attack, in his local Greggs. The absurdist nature of his final moments would have appealed to him. I remember his first words to me when I joined Q Branch more than two decades ago, sat behind his desk, smoking his customary pipe. ‘There are two kinds of operatives here, Q. Those who stay in the shadows and those who cast them. Guess which one you are?’ M was a tyrant, a father confessor, and one of the finest men I have ever known. We shall miss him.

So, what now? I am told that the new M will be in post within the week. In the meantime it is business as usual. Later this week we will be testing the Penetrator, our laser-guided titanium crossbow. As you know, I am not entirely convinced as to the field-utility of this particular weapon, but it was a project close to M’s heart and so we shall continue as planned. No doubt the likes of 007 will find some use for it. I just don’t want to be in the vicinity when he does. 

Finally, congratulations to DAVID N. for correctly ascertaining the answer to the puzzle in my previous memo, and for being fortunate enough to be picked at random from all the correct entries. The answer, of course, was WALTHER PPK, the name of the gun that I gave James Bond before his Dr No mission. Below you will find this edition’s puzzle. Good luck!  

Sincerely,

Major Boothroyd

Head of Q Branch

P.S. Here is this edition’s puzzle. One ‘winner’ shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. MI6 Archives shall rustle up a book to send to you* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter . . . This month’s puzzle is as follows: 

Who was the first actor to play M in the James Bond films?

*UK entrants only, alas!

NOTE FROM VASEEM KHAN

This ‘memorandum’ is one of a series of 12 that we will be publishing, celebrating the launch of Quantum of Menace, the first mystery featuring Major Boothroyd, Head of Q Branch (aka Q) from the James Bond universe. Pre-orders are very important to a new series, so we would be immensely grateful if you considered pre-ordering the novel. Buy from bookshops big and small and online.  Click here for some options.

To keep updated on the progress of Quantum of Menace, and to receive competitions and giveaways with prizes from the Bond-verse,  simply register for my newsletter here . 

You can also receive these updates by registering for the  Ian Fleming newsletter by clicking here . 

Dear colleagues,

I was recently required to attend a special oversight committee where the subject under discussion was the ongoing ‘licence to kill’ enjoyed by MI6’s Double O section. Given that we here at Q Branch serve as chief armourers to the Double Os, my presence was considered expedient. It seems that some are querying the right of our field agents to prosecute their orders with extreme prejudice. Never mind that our foes may be out to destroy the world or that the Double Os themselves are often sent in to face almost certain death in pursuit of their objectives. 

The fact is that assassination has long been a vital component of any self-respecting intelligence agency’s toolkit. Indeed, Section 7 of the 1994 Intelligence Services Act explicitly offers protection to field agents involved in actions that might otherwise be considered criminal: bribery, kidnap, torture and murder. And, in 007’s case, blowing things up wholesale. It goes without saying that MI6 employ this licence with great care. The Double Os are surgical operatives, and each kill is properly vetted and authorised.

Nor are we alone in our philosophy. The Americans have long believed in the negotiating power of the gun. During Fidel Castro’s long reign numerous attempts were made by the CIA to bring a full stop to the Cuban leader’s activities. The many colourful assassination methods have gained notoriety in the intelligence community – some of you may recall the Channel 4 documentary 638 Ways to Kill Castro– from exploding cigars to poisonous fountain pens to hired mobsters. My personal favourite: an attempt to destroy Castro’s image by arranging for his shoes to be dusted with thallium salts, the hope being that this would lead to his beard falling out. Not exactly murder, but perhaps even more grievously wounding.      

Finally, congratulations to WILL D. for correctly ascertaining the answer to the puzzle in my previous memo, and for being fortunate enough to be picked at random from all the correct entries. The answer, of course, was HAL 9000 (or just HAL), the name of the computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey, the film that inspired David Bowie’s Space Oddity. Below you will find this edition’s puzzle. Good luck!  

Sincerely,

Major Boothroyd

Head of Q Branch

P.S. Here is this edition’s puzzle. One ‘winner’ shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. MI6 Archives shall rustle up a book to send to you* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter . . . This month’s puzzle is as follows: 

What is the name of the deadly handgun that Bond was given (by Major Boothroyd!) in the novel Dr. No?

*UK entrants only, alas!

NOTE FROM VASEEM KHAN

This ‘memorandum’ is one of a series of 12 that we will be publishing, celebrating the launch of Quantum of Menace, the first mystery featuring Major Boothroyd, Head of Q Branch (aka Q) from the James Bond universe. Pre-orders are very important to a new series, so we would be immensely grateful if you considered pre-ordering the novel. Buy from bookshops big and small and online.  Click here for some options.

To keep updated on the progress of Quantum of Menace, and to receive competitions and giveaways with prizes from the Bond-verse,  simply register for my newsletter here . 

You can also receive these updates by registering for the  Ian Fleming newsletter by clicking here . 

I am incredibly excited that my first psychological thriller, The Girl in Cell A, is out today. The book releases in hardback (and e-book or audio) on 1 May 2025 in the UK, with the USA hardback to follow in July (though US e-book and audio are also out on 1 May). It is my first standalone novel, and my first thriller set in America. The story is as follows:

The book is set in the small mining town of Eden Falls, run by the Wyclerc dynasty and its ruthless patriarch Amos Wyclerc. Convicted of murdering Amos’s heir when she was just seventeen, Orianna Negi has always maintained her innocence. But there are holes in her memory, a blind spot over that fateful day. Did she really kill Gideon Wyclerc? And what happened to Gideon’s teenaged daughter, Grace, who vanished that same day, eighteen years ago? Forensic psychologist, Annie Ledet, is tasked with unlocking Orianna’s faulty memory and separating the real woman from the true crime celebrity she has become in the years since the killing. But as their sessions progress, Annie reaches into Orianna’s past to a shattering truth…

It has taken me three years to write this book. I am incredibly passionate about it and very very keen for you to read it. You can find an extract at the bottom of this newsletter. 

I would be immensely grateful if you considered ordering it. It is available from all good bookshops and online. Here are some order links: Waterstones / Foyles / Amazon / Blackwells / Bookshop.org / WHSmith  … and e-book from Apple / Barnes&Noble

Why might you enjoy reading The Girl in Cell A?

If you love a big meaty read with all the claustrophobia of a small town setting and the twists and turns of a psychological thriller then this is one for you. 

Don’t take my word for it. Here’s what some of the top thriller writers in the world are saying about the book:

Masterful. A beautifully written, twisting psychological thriller ~ CHRIS WHITAKER

A triumphantly mind-bending puzzlebox of a book that will have you questioning everything ~ RUTH WARE

A thrillingly written and carefully researched journey into the dark world of forensic psychotherapy, amnesia and murder. Complex, completely convincing characters and twist you’ll never guess. A masterful achievement ~ ALEX MICHAELIDES

Both epic family tale and riveting psychological thriller, The Girl in Cell A is an utterly absorbing story with an ending that will leave you reeling ~ SHARI LAPENA

‘A fabulous thriller where small-town America and the sins of its inhabitants make for a wonderful page-turner’ ~ STEVE CAVANAGH

A superb psychological thriller. What a mammoth task Vaseem has taken on and the fact that he pulls it off is astonishing. A terrific reading experience with a total shocker of an ending ~ LIZ NUGENT

Masterful. So clever I think it melted my brain. This clever, intense, beautifully written mystery about family, loyalty and lies had me frantically turning the pages and suspecting everyone. Impossible to put down ~ C.L. TAYLOR

An utterly captivating, multi-faceted psychological thriller that keeps you turning the pages. A real triumph! ~ B.A. PARIS

A triumph. A gripping thriller, a saga of a family and its terrifying secrets and a tale of redemption to break your heart ~ NICCI FRENCH

Vaseem Khan turns his razor sharp intellect away from the Indian subcontinent to the backroads of rural America, but the results are the same. A thrilling, thought-provoking, suspenseful novel that will keep you on the edge of your seat ~ S.A. COSBY

Epic, ingenious storytelling and a brilliantly realised small town setting where everyone is a suspect. A fantastic thriller ~ TM LOGAN

An epic crime novel with an evocative setting, a cast of characters who feel real and a multitude of twists and turns. If you liked The Silent Patient or All The Colours of the Dark, you’ll love this. ~ MARK EDWARDS

Once again, here are some order links: Waterstones / Foyles / Amazon / Blackwells / Bookshop.org / WHSmith  … and e-book from Apple/ Barnes&Noble

And don’t forget to let others know. If you wish to, do post about the book on social media, and spread the word.

Dear colleagues,

I begin with a David Bowie reference, but the topic of this memo is deadly serious. Last week I was invited to a behind-closed-doors symposium examining the future of mind control techniques. Here at Q branch we are, of course, familiar with this nefarious brand of pseudo-science. It has always been the goal of military and intelligence agencies to exert influence over our enemies, by fair means or foul. Back in 1951, the CIA’s Office of Scientific Intelligence launched Project Artichoke, aimed at determining whether an individual might be coerced (against their will) into carrying out an act of assassination. [The answer is no, not really, unless they happen to be particularly feeble-minded.] 

Project Artichoke was the forerunner to the notorious Project MKUltra, another CIA program aimed at developing brainwashing techniques. A key goal of the program was to enable more effective interrogations either through psychological torture or via the development of a ‘truth serum’. As someone who has routinely been forced to sit on government committees I am, of course, no stranger to psychological torture, and it has often occurred to me that the administering of a truth serum to elected politicians would be greatly appreciated by the British public. Alas, no effective truth drug has ever been developed. Most tend to put their recipients to sleep or scramble their brains to the point that they will willingly confess to assassinating Abraham Lincoln.

The MKUltra program continued for two decades and experimented on many (unwitting) test subjects. Today, it stands roundly – and rightly – condemned for human rights violations. In both Project Artichoke and Project MKUltra, an array of drugs were utilised, from cocaine to heroin to LSD, though history remains unclear as to whether the drugs were administered solely to the test subjects or also taken by those in charge of the program. One suspects the latter. (As an aside: the entire global supply of LSD – created in 1938 in a Swiss lab – was bought out by the CIA in the 1950s.)

Today, several labs are experimenting with neurological approaches, namely, direct brain-to-computer interfaces. I must confess, the idea of inserting a chip into the brains of some of our Double Os and remotely directing their actions during field ops does carry a certain appeal. The ability to stop 007 from ramming our latest modified supercar into the side of an express train might go some way to reining in our annual budget . . .

Finally, congratulations to KEVIN Q. for correctly ascertaining the answer to the puzzle in my previous memo, and for being fortunate enough to be picked at random from all the correct entries. The answer, of course, was NILEUS, the name of Admiral Nelson’s dog, which, when written backwards, and a space inserted, becomes SUE LIN, last memo’s clue. Below you will find this edition’s puzzle. Good luck!  

Sincerely,

Major Boothroyd

Head of Q Branch

P.S. Here is this edition’s puzzle. One ‘winner’ shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. MI6 Archives shall rustle up a book to send to you* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter . . . This month’s puzzle is as follows: 

What was the name of the famous computer in the film that inspired David Bowie’s Space Oddity (the song where Major Tom first appeared)?

*UK entrants only, alas!

NOTE FROM VASEEM KHAN

This ‘memorandum’ is one of a series of 12 that we will be publishing, celebrating the launch of Quantum of Menace, the first mystery featuring Major Boothroyd, Head of Q Branch (aka Q) from the James Bond universe. Pre-orders are very important to a new series, so we would be immensely grateful if you considered pre-ordering the novel. Buy from bookshops big and small and online.  Click here for some options.

To keep updated on the progress of Quantum of Menace, and to receive competitions and giveaways with prizes from the Bond-verse,  simply register for my newsletter here . 

You can also receive these updates by registering for the  Ian Fleming newsletter by clicking here . 

Dear colleagues,

Patriotism. Here in the security services it is taken as given that we stand for something greater than ourselves. Call it a love of King and Country or a set of values that enshrine our democratic ideals. But where does such belief come from? How do we hold on to it as the very concept becomes ever more politically charged?

When I was young, I spent a lot of time in the library. No surprises there. It was here that I first came across a copy of Nelson by Richard Hough. If ever there was a story to instil a sense of patriotism in a young man, it was the heroic tale of our greatest naval officer. Yes, Nelson may have lost a few too many body parts along the way to said greatness, and his eye for the ladies – or one lady, in particular – may have seen him tarred and feathered in today’s age, but Nelson’s famous signal, sent just before the Battle of Trafalgar – namely: England expects that every man will do his duty – fired my imagination and, dare I say, the imagination of countless servicemen and women since. 

Nelson lived up to his own expectations. The battle was won, securing Britain’s supremacy over the seas for a century. Nelson perished and ascended to the pantheon.

As most of you know, in my office hangs a reprint of The Death of Nelson by Benjamin West. It has long been taken as gospel that, as he lay dying, Nelson said to his flag captain, Vice-Admiral Thomas Hardy, ‘Kiss me, Hardy.’ Recent evidence suggests otherwise. Nelson’s parting words might actually have been ‘Thank God, I have done my duty.’ Frankly, this sounds far more likely. (I am fairly certain that should I be mortally wounded in action with the Double Os, my last words would not be ‘Kiss me, Bond.’) 

At any rate, Nelson’s example inspired me to consider a career in the navy, but the fact that I tend to get nauseous in the bathtub ruled otherwise. (Fun fact: Nelson himself suffered terribly from seasickness.) Instead, I joined the army – the Royal Engineers – and from there MI6 and Q Branch.

More than two decades on, I still draw inspiration from Nelson’s example. He remains my greatest hero. 

On another note, it will not have escaped your attention that several grey-suited individuals have taken up residence in the conference room. They represent an unwelcome follow-up to the recent Spending Review of the security services. Once again, we can expect to be given the third degree by the oversight committee’s grim-faced apparatchiks. I can only hope that our paperclip-obsessed guests might be imbued with the same sense of duty that propelled Nelson. England expects.  

Finally, congratulations to RICHARD N. for correctly ascertaining the answer to the puzzle in my previous memo, and for being fortunate enough to be picked at random from all the correct entries. The answer, of course, was the NAUTILUS, Captain Nemo’s submarine from Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. (The last line of the puzzle referred to the name given to Argonauts, an octopus species known as paper nautili). Below you will find this edition’s puzzle. Good luck!  

Sincerely,

Major Boothroyd

Head of Q Branch

P.S. Here is this edition’s puzzle. One ‘winner’ shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. MI6 Archives shall rustle up a book to send to you* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter . . . This month’s puzzle is as follows: To who am I referring below? Clue: the answer relates to Nelson and requires a four-pawed rearranging of these two words:

SUE LIN

*UK entrants only, alas!

NOTE FROM VASEEM KHAN

WOULD YOU LIKE TO PRE-ORDER QUANTUM OF MENACE – OUT ON 23 OCTOBER 2025?

This ‘memorandum’ is one of a series of 12 that we will be publishing, celebrating the launch of Quantum of Menace, the first mystery featuring Major Boothroyd, Head of Q Branch (aka Q) from the James Bond universe. Pre-orders are very important to a new series, so we would be immensely grateful if you considered pre-ordering the novel. Buy from bookshops big and small and online.  Click here for some options.

To keep updated on the progress of Quantum of Menace, and to receive competitions and giveaways with prizes from the Bond-verse,  simply register for my newsletter here . 

You can also receive these updates by registering for the  Ian Fleming newsletter by clicking here . 

Dear colleagues,

It has come to my attention that the coffee machine in the Q Branch kitchen has once again broken down. It beggars belief that a division renowned for its prowess at invention cannot persuade such a simple device to a) remain operational for longer than five minutes and b) dispense a cup of coffee that does not taste of boiled socks. Following my last run-in with the machine’s maintenance personnel, I am no longer permitted to negotiate this situation on our behalf. (Apparently, I have offended their delicate sensibilities.) Moneypenny has taken the matter in hand and, I am assured, will rectify the situation forthwith.

The coffee machine situation reminds me of recent setbacks on our solo-submersible project. As some of you may remember, the idea for this project originated with our field agents (specifically, one agent). At the time, objections were raised (by myself) as to the viability of the project, with some (again, yours truly) comparing it to The Great Panjandrum, a sort of armed, rocket-powered giant Catherine wheel, designed by British engineers during WW2, an invention so inept that it was never actually deployed. The Great Panjandrum, during its initial test, managed to not only utterly fail in its primary objective – rolling along a beach in a straight line – but misfired rockets in all directions, almost taking out several ranks of senior military brass, before crashing and fragmenting into bits in a series of violent explosions.

In spite of this, Q Branch’s objections to the proposed submersible programme were overruled. As M reminded us at the time, it is our duty, as the research and development arm of the British Secret Service, to provide for the needs of our agents. And if 007 says he needs a personal sub armed with a laser-guided warhead, then who are we to argue? (It should be noted that previous attempts at such armed mini-subs have largely been the domain of drug cartels. These so-called ‘narco-subs’, invariably constructed in potting sheds located deep in the South American jungle, are notoriously badly engineered, little more than tin death-traps for their hapless pilots, where paper bags serve as latrines and the primary propulsion device is no more sophisticated than a mouse-wheel.)  

To be clear, I am not against the idea of submarines, and we shall plough ahead with fortitude, as ever. But the practical limitations of this particular design should not be underestimated. One can only think of the challenges faced by our predecessors. For instance, Dutch inventor Cornelis Drebbel, credited with the first propulsive submarine – a leather-covered and iron-reinforced rowboat oared by twelve men – built in 1620 under the auspices of King James I – he of Bible fame. This device – imaginatively christened Drebbel I – managed to submerge to a whopping depth of fifteen feet in the Thames. The British navy declined to utilise it. 

Finally, congratulations to Matt G. for correctly ascertaining the answer to the puzzle in my previous memo, and for being fortunate enough to be picked at random from all the correct entries. The answer, of course, was Mata Hari. Below you will find this edition’s puzzle. Good luck!  

Sincerely,

Major Boothroyd

Head of Q Branch

P.S. Here is this edition’s puzzle. One ‘winner’ shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. MI6 Archives shall rustle up a book to send to you* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter . . . This month’s puzzle is as follows: To what am I referring below?

A vessel now part of ocean lore.

Captained by a fabled submariner of yore.

An adventure tale to set imaginations aflame.

Marine Argonauts now share this name.

*UK entrants only, alas!

NOTE FROM VASEEM KHAN

This ‘memorandum’ is one of a series of 12 that we will be publishing, celebrating the launch of QUANTUM OF MENACE, the first mystery featuring Major Boothroyd, Head of Q Branch (a.k.a Q) from the James Bond universe. Pre-orders are very important to a new series, so we would be immensely grateful if you considered pre-ordering the novel. Buy from bookshops big and small and online.  Click here for some options.

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