Kaiylah Muhammad's Blog - Posts Tagged "self-love"
Black People and Self-Hate
As I was watching Solange's music video "Don't Touch My Hair" which is about being a black woman and embracing your natural hair... Like most humans do, I went to the comment section to see what people were saying about the video. (The comments are now disabled by the way.)
But I came across a comment that said, "This song makes me want to go natural." I smiled when I read that. But right under that was a comment that said, "You black women always wanna announce going natural. Nobody cares. Get over yourselves."
Why is it such a big deal for a black woman to embrace her natural hair? It shouldn't be, but it is because for decades the media has pushed European standards of beauty on us. "Nappy hair" is ugly. And long straight hair is "pretty hair".
Don't roll your eyes if you see a black woman embracing her natural hair... It's not just a trend. It's deeper. It means she wants to break free from the European standards of beauty.
Also don't roll your eyes if you see a black woman with weave. Don't call her a "Negropean" or accuse her of wanting to be white. We absolutely HAVE TO STOP tearing each other down. Which brings me to my next point...
Why do blacks only seem to come together when someone of a different race is against us, but we're constantly against each other?
The never ending competition of light skin vs. dark skin... Do people realize where that comes from? SLAVERY. As we all know the slave masters only allowed the "lightskins" to work in the house, while the "darkskins" had to work in the field.
The never ending "Your success means my failure." If someone is doing better than you, instead of being inspired by them you rather put them down to make yourself feel better. "I can't support you because there's not enough room at the top for both of us" is the mentality that many blacks have.
The never ending memes that turn people's success or individuality into jokes. Now don't get me wrong I absolutely love so many things about the black race... Our humor, our style, our slang, our music, but one thing I don't love is self-hate. When you put another black person down, you're really putting yourself down. When you put ANYBODY down that reflects badly on YOU.
SPREAD LOVE!
But I came across a comment that said, "This song makes me want to go natural." I smiled when I read that. But right under that was a comment that said, "You black women always wanna announce going natural. Nobody cares. Get over yourselves."
Why is it such a big deal for a black woman to embrace her natural hair? It shouldn't be, but it is because for decades the media has pushed European standards of beauty on us. "Nappy hair" is ugly. And long straight hair is "pretty hair".
Don't roll your eyes if you see a black woman embracing her natural hair... It's not just a trend. It's deeper. It means she wants to break free from the European standards of beauty.
Also don't roll your eyes if you see a black woman with weave. Don't call her a "Negropean" or accuse her of wanting to be white. We absolutely HAVE TO STOP tearing each other down. Which brings me to my next point...
Why do blacks only seem to come together when someone of a different race is against us, but we're constantly against each other?
The never ending competition of light skin vs. dark skin... Do people realize where that comes from? SLAVERY. As we all know the slave masters only allowed the "lightskins" to work in the house, while the "darkskins" had to work in the field.
The never ending "Your success means my failure." If someone is doing better than you, instead of being inspired by them you rather put them down to make yourself feel better. "I can't support you because there's not enough room at the top for both of us" is the mentality that many blacks have.
The never ending memes that turn people's success or individuality into jokes. Now don't get me wrong I absolutely love so many things about the black race... Our humor, our style, our slang, our music, but one thing I don't love is self-hate. When you put another black person down, you're really putting yourself down. When you put ANYBODY down that reflects badly on YOU.
SPREAD LOVE!
Social media is my self-esteem
It’s really crazy how the amount of likes, views and reposts you get on social media, can negatively or positively affect your self-esteem. We base our importance off of how other people view us more than ever because of social media. And granted every human wants attention, but the fact that how we feel about ourselves is based on how other people feel about us is soooo unhealthy. I keep saying "we" because I’m not excluded. This is something I struggle with too.
For people who didn’t get much attention as a child, maybe were bullied & picked on, maybe had an absent parent or perhaps had both parents, but didn’t receive much attention or affection from them... social media may be a way for them to fill that void.
The problem is when you stop getting as much attention. You stop getting as many likes. You stop getting as many comments. Then what? You start to feel like that insecure unloved child again. I’m speaking from personal experience.
So it’s important to view yourself, from your own eyes and not from the eyes of other people. But how do you do that? Well the first thing to remember is that social media is meant for connecting with other people. It should not be used as a way to fill a void from your childhood. It should not be used as a way to boost your self-esteem. It should not be used as a way to feed your ego.
Your importance as a person does not come from likes and followers. Although it may feel that way sometimes, you have to remember it's all an illusion. People who believe that their value comes from that, have a false sense of security.
For people who didn’t get much attention as a child, maybe were bullied & picked on, maybe had an absent parent or perhaps had both parents, but didn’t receive much attention or affection from them... social media may be a way for them to fill that void.
The problem is when you stop getting as much attention. You stop getting as many likes. You stop getting as many comments. Then what? You start to feel like that insecure unloved child again. I’m speaking from personal experience.
So it’s important to view yourself, from your own eyes and not from the eyes of other people. But how do you do that? Well the first thing to remember is that social media is meant for connecting with other people. It should not be used as a way to fill a void from your childhood. It should not be used as a way to boost your self-esteem. It should not be used as a way to feed your ego.
Your importance as a person does not come from likes and followers. Although it may feel that way sometimes, you have to remember it's all an illusion. People who believe that their value comes from that, have a false sense of security.
