30 ratings | 12 reviews | avg rating:4.23

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Jeff Mach

Goodreads Author

Born

in The United States

Website

https://www.patreon.com/thatjeffmach

Twitter

darklordjournal

Genre

Humor and Comedy, Fantasy, Science Fiction

Influences

Terry_Pratchett ...more

Member Since

April 2008

URL

https://www.goodreads.com/jeffmach

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Jeff writes a lot of peculiar, often villainous fantasy and science fiction. He speaks about himself in the third person rather a lot. He's mostly a satirist in both his novels and his short work. He writes more F&SF poetry than a healthy person ought. He knows a lot about pickup lines for Dwarves, Hobbits, Elves, and others. ...more

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Combine Editions
Jeff Mach’s books

Average rating: 4.0 · 440 ratings · 110 reviews · 8 distinct works • Similar authors

	There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord 3.82 avg rating — 292 ratings — 4 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	I HATE Your Prophecy: A Completely Serious Look At Magic, Destiny, And What Happens When You Make A Sorceress Mad 4.31 avg rating — 67 ratings — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Villains, Villainy & Villainpunk: Monstrous Microfictions 4.42 avg rating — 31 ratings — 3 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	"I Hate Your Time Machine": A fiction-fueled guide to some of the worst tropes of Fantasy & Science Fiction 4.18 avg rating — 28 ratings — 3 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	A Big Bad Wolf's VILLAINLY Alphabet: An Alphabet for young Villains, Tricksters, and Junior Rogues by Jeff Mach (Goodreads Author), Gahil Windu (Illustrator) 4.69 avg rating — 13 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The Villainpunk Cookbook: 4.43 avg rating — 7 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	GIVE: the book of submissive experience it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 2 ratings — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	A Big Bad Wolf's VILLAINLY Alphabet: An Alphabet for young Villains, Tricksters, and Junior Rogues 0.00 avg rating — 0 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

More books by Jeff Mach…

820 posts
Jeff Mach's Blog

Another One Eaten By Mimics

Here’s one I wrote for the Patreon and then worked to put some more flesh on it here. It’s had some time to marinate.

What’s your writing process?

–Jeff Mach

A Legend now I’ll tell
(A Legend? No. Not even a spell.
It’s simply a sad truth:
My friend decided to be devoured in her youth.)

See, my friend’s gimmick
Is being eaten by a Mimic.
It doesn’t seem that fun to me.
But she does it repeated

Jeff is Currently Reading

Jeff Mach is currently reading

Four Hoboken Stories

by Daniel Pinkwater

bookshelves: currently-reading

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Apr 30, 2020 02:17PM

Jeff Mach is currently reading

The Monster at the End of this Book

by Jon Stone

bookshelves: currently-reading

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Nov 23, 2024 09:30PM

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Jeff’s Recent Updates

Jeff Mach wrote a new blog post The Dark Lord, The Dwarf, And The Dragon (Okay, I admit it…this is definitely a barebones version of what will go on the Patreon and eventually be in the novel. But I LIKE the story and want Read more of this blog post »
14 hours, 58 min ago · like
Jeff Mach wrote a new blog post The Dark Lord, The Dwarf, And The Dragon (Okay, I admit it…this is definitely a barebones version of what will go on the Patreon and eventually be in the novel. But I LIKE the story and want Read more of this blog post »
14 hours, 58 min ago · like
Jeff Mach and 2 other people liked Cyrielle’s status update Cyrielle Jeanne started reading Nanny for the Neighbors
Jan 08, 2026 11:16PM
Jeff Mach and 1 other person liked Bookaholic__Reviews's status update Bookaholic__Reviews is 70% done with The Restoration Garden
Jan 08, 2026 11:16PM
Jeff Mach wants to read Kiss of the Basilisk (Split or Swallow, #1) by Lindsay Straube	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Jan 06, 2026 11:14AM · like
Jeff Mach wants to read R.U.R. by Karel Čapek	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Jan 04, 2026 11:35PM · like
Jeff Mach is now following Mark Piggott Author of Corsair and the Sky Pirates
Jan 02, 2026 11:14AM · like
Jeff Mach is now following Quinn W. Buckland Author of The Engine What Runs the World
Jan 01, 2026 09:35PM · like
Jeff Mach made a comment on Philip Athans’s review of Atomic Werewolves and Man-Eating Plants: When Men's Adventure Magazines Got Weird (Men's Adventure Library) " This looks like a really fun book - what's it about? ...more "
Jan 01, 2026 10:57AM · see review
Jeff Mach liked Philip Athans's review of Atomic Werewolves and Man-Eating Plants: When Men's Adventure Magazines Got Weird (Men's Adventure Library):
Jan 01, 2026 10:57AM · see review

More of Jeff's books…

Quotes by Jeff Mach (?)

“How often must you be betrayed before you see that others are taking your kindness for weakness, your silence for an inability to speak?”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

tags: betrayal, defeat, kindness, mistake, power, silence, speak-up, try, weakness

16 likes

“They hate being unable to control you.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

tags: control, empowerment, hero, individuality, power, society, villain

16 likes

“First off, contrary to popular belief, I'm as human as you are. One of us should probably be ashamed of that. I'm not entirely sure that it's me.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

tags: belief, human, humanity, identity, label, presence, self-identity, shame

15 likes

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Jeff’s Quotes

“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

tags: fantasy-humor, humor, myths, unicorns

11 likes

“Orcs live in caves. Goblins live in shadows. It's the pain of distance versus the pain of proximity.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

tags: dark-fantasy, goblins, orcs

8 likes

“And sadly, fairytale kingdoms work poorly. It’s not just that they’re fairytales and thus not terribly real; we’ve seen stranger and more mythical attempts at leadership in our time. The problem is that Fairytales attract Good Faeries, and thus Bad Faeries; Evil Queens; Huntsmen, and, of course, The Grand Vizier. And all of those tend to lead to ruination.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

tags: fairytales, grand-vizier, rulership

10 likes

“The person who has never considered “non servium” may have a fatal weakness in the legs. Train yourself to kneel instead of think, and you will not enjoy an opponent who knows how to stand.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

10 likes

“I didn’t know this was where I’d end up, and if you try to tell me that the hurt, the pain, the personal choices, and the perseverance were all just part of someone else's plan, I'll laugh at you until I can barely breathe.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

10 likes

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