Sanchita Pandey's Blog
March 1, 2017
Kindness? What’s That!
This is one belief I keep reiterating to my friends and family members frequently --- ‘For success in life, just follow the Class-I Moral Science book!’ Before you, the reader, thwart my belief, let me divulge to you that I have no takers for this assessment of mine. The reason being that we are all conditioned to believe that things we love, success included, are arduous to achieve. You ought to toil incessantly and put in many years of hard work with no guarantee that your dream will come true. What I intend to emphasize is that simple words you learnt as a toddler can transform your life for the better! These words are --- ‘BE KIND’! For success in life, all you have to do and be is to develop into a kinder person. The rest you will receive through blessings you earn from others and your own honesty in living your life according to the Law of the Universe. The rest will be magic!
Hey! Look around carefully and you will be able to locate many ‘unkind’ people around you. They are NOT ‘cruel’ people but they lack basic kindness --- irrespective of whether they are educated or illiterate individuals.
What is Kindness?
Kindness has several layers of meanings. It has different connotations depending upon a given situation, thought, person or intention. For instance, kindness would mean ‘to be completely aware’. If you are kind, you will really ‘listen’ to people when they converse with you, intently following every detail they may be disclosing.
Mr. Raj received a phone call from his mother while he was driving. His first reaction was to ignore the call and call back later, say, after an hour when he was home. However, pestered by his wife, he parked the car on the side of the road and lovingly spoke to his mother. A couple of hours later, the phone rang again, informing him about the demise of his mother who died of severe heart attack! A little kindness and patience on his part saved Mr. Raj a lifetime of repentance.
Here is another example. Mr. Kumar enters a high profile party and just when he came across his colleagues, they began enquiring and discussing about his recent illness in public. The topic made Mr. Kumar uneasy and yet all the jokes and anecdotes were centred around his affliction. These individuals, though well-read and high on the ranks were not behaving kindly.
Who are these Kind People?
Kind individuals believe in the dignity of all living beings --- human beings and animals. They always treat everyone well, avoid telling a lie, are helpful without always focusing on their own profit. They are ‘givers’, compassionate beings --- always radiating positive energy through noble actions, empowering and encouraging words. They never belittle others, are not revengeful and are always careful of their thoughts, words and deeds, readily forgiving others for their misgivings. Kindness is not meekness. Instead, it is a way of respecting the self for leading a more peaceful life. Kind individuals try not to cling to the past or future and live in the present moment. They are nice to the poor and the needy, children and elders alike. They lead a disciplined life avoiding excessive judgement of others’ behaviour and focusing on their own personal and professional improvement. They respect their own time as well as that of others. They reside in clean surroundings and are open to new suggestions and opinions from others.
You will seldom find them angry or irritated. Kind individuals do not view others as separate and display genuine concern for the welfare and well being of others. They are learnable and welcome any change more easily. They smile more often as they harbour prayerful and serene thoughts throughout their working hours. They offer their work to the Almighty, surrender the fruits of their labour to Him and just move on securely with faith and confidence. They are unperturbed by success and failure, displaying equanimity even while wading their way through dark waters. This is why they are able to motivate others during trying and turbulent times. They know for sure, ‘This, too, shall pass away.’
Kind people show selflessness, let go easily and are devoid of ego. With practice and self-control, they have conquered vices such as jealousy, arrogance and anger, see the good in others and always tend to uplift other individuals around them. They harp upon what they can do for others and how they can be of use, without any expectations of receiving anything in return. They have risen above material accumulations and passion for their work or love for their family and friends is their real legacy.
Are YOU Kind?
If you are a happy individual, chances are that you are also a kind individual. If you can share a portion from your own time, money and material, you must be a kind person. If you can be happy for someone else’s achievements and display compassion for someone who is ‘down and out’ due to failed health or loss in business etc., you must be a nice person. If you look at someone and greet him/her with a happy twinkle in your eyes, not because he may be of help to you someday and is a big name but because you recognize him and just felt glad to meet him, you are a kind and nice person. If you adjust some rules so that someone may be more comfortable, you must be a kind person. If you can leave others happy and better after they have spoken to you, you qualify as a kind angel on this Earth.
The world needs more of such people today to assure and uplift others and to bolster the belief that goodness and kindness prevail even today in the world so choked with strife. Kindness, honesty and integrity from one person can actually kick start a chain reaction of goodness --- enough to diffuse hatred and warfare in any corner on Earth. Now, isn’t kindness a powerful word?
Hey! Look around carefully and you will be able to locate many ‘unkind’ people around you. They are NOT ‘cruel’ people but they lack basic kindness --- irrespective of whether they are educated or illiterate individuals.
What is Kindness?
Kindness has several layers of meanings. It has different connotations depending upon a given situation, thought, person or intention. For instance, kindness would mean ‘to be completely aware’. If you are kind, you will really ‘listen’ to people when they converse with you, intently following every detail they may be disclosing.
Mr. Raj received a phone call from his mother while he was driving. His first reaction was to ignore the call and call back later, say, after an hour when he was home. However, pestered by his wife, he parked the car on the side of the road and lovingly spoke to his mother. A couple of hours later, the phone rang again, informing him about the demise of his mother who died of severe heart attack! A little kindness and patience on his part saved Mr. Raj a lifetime of repentance.
Here is another example. Mr. Kumar enters a high profile party and just when he came across his colleagues, they began enquiring and discussing about his recent illness in public. The topic made Mr. Kumar uneasy and yet all the jokes and anecdotes were centred around his affliction. These individuals, though well-read and high on the ranks were not behaving kindly.
Who are these Kind People?
Kind individuals believe in the dignity of all living beings --- human beings and animals. They always treat everyone well, avoid telling a lie, are helpful without always focusing on their own profit. They are ‘givers’, compassionate beings --- always radiating positive energy through noble actions, empowering and encouraging words. They never belittle others, are not revengeful and are always careful of their thoughts, words and deeds, readily forgiving others for their misgivings. Kindness is not meekness. Instead, it is a way of respecting the self for leading a more peaceful life. Kind individuals try not to cling to the past or future and live in the present moment. They are nice to the poor and the needy, children and elders alike. They lead a disciplined life avoiding excessive judgement of others’ behaviour and focusing on their own personal and professional improvement. They respect their own time as well as that of others. They reside in clean surroundings and are open to new suggestions and opinions from others.
You will seldom find them angry or irritated. Kind individuals do not view others as separate and display genuine concern for the welfare and well being of others. They are learnable and welcome any change more easily. They smile more often as they harbour prayerful and serene thoughts throughout their working hours. They offer their work to the Almighty, surrender the fruits of their labour to Him and just move on securely with faith and confidence. They are unperturbed by success and failure, displaying equanimity even while wading their way through dark waters. This is why they are able to motivate others during trying and turbulent times. They know for sure, ‘This, too, shall pass away.’
Kind people show selflessness, let go easily and are devoid of ego. With practice and self-control, they have conquered vices such as jealousy, arrogance and anger, see the good in others and always tend to uplift other individuals around them. They harp upon what they can do for others and how they can be of use, without any expectations of receiving anything in return. They have risen above material accumulations and passion for their work or love for their family and friends is their real legacy.
Are YOU Kind?
If you are a happy individual, chances are that you are also a kind individual. If you can share a portion from your own time, money and material, you must be a kind person. If you can be happy for someone else’s achievements and display compassion for someone who is ‘down and out’ due to failed health or loss in business etc., you must be a nice person. If you look at someone and greet him/her with a happy twinkle in your eyes, not because he may be of help to you someday and is a big name but because you recognize him and just felt glad to meet him, you are a kind and nice person. If you adjust some rules so that someone may be more comfortable, you must be a kind person. If you can leave others happy and better after they have spoken to you, you qualify as a kind angel on this Earth.
The world needs more of such people today to assure and uplift others and to bolster the belief that goodness and kindness prevail even today in the world so choked with strife. Kindness, honesty and integrity from one person can actually kick start a chain reaction of goodness --- enough to diffuse hatred and warfare in any corner on Earth. Now, isn’t kindness a powerful word?
February 26, 2017
Look for the Good in Others
The following verse can serve as a reference point on how to lead your life ---
"Sarve Bhavantu Sukhinah,
Sarve santu niramaya
Sarve Bhadrani Pashyantu,
Ma Kaschid Dhukhbhav Bhavet."
This is a prayer for all --- may all lead a life of bliss and may each one of us lead a healthy life. It inspires us to look only for the good in others. With noble thoughts towards all others around you, it promises you a life filled with peace and happiness.
I have personally started repeating this verse many times throughout the day to keep my thoughts and actions positive and wholesome. What you do for others or say to others comes back to you many folds. There is a lot to gain by focusing your mind on the positive qualities of everyone you meet. A few points are furnished below ---
1. What you focus on grows!
Yes, when you appreciate fine qualities in the other person, you unconsciously emulate these qualities. As you think about them, you inadvertently absorb them in your personality. They become a part of you --- your improved self!
2. You become less judgmental of others
When you habitually start looking for all that is good in others, your body language, questions that you seek to ask etc. all revolve around elevating the person in front of you. You leave people better than they were before. As a result, they will desire more of your company.
3. You attract successful and talented people towards yourself
Read the following quote ---
"If you hang out with four millionaires, you’re bound to be the fifth."
True, the company you keep says everything about you. When you are with the right people, you will also come across right opportunities. Your knowledge will grow and exchanging your ideas with them will open new frontiers for learning further and updating your skills. Most of all, you will imbibe the right attitude from the stalwarts around you. And… attitude is everything in life.
4. Great minds discuss ideasLooking for the good in others will change the way you think or converse with others. You will seldom fancy the desire to discuss people unless it is for highlighting their attributes. You will never think of belittling others. Lot of time and energy will be saved for creative pursuits, constructive work and innovative ideas for you to act upon. You will be part of a positive team, working in one direction, trying to explore ways that benefit one and all.
As an individual too, you will have peace of mind, satisfaction and happiness in life, leading a fulfilling life in a positive space. The urge to criticize others or harbouring any other biases against them will cease to find place in the garden of your mind.
5. You will be at a high frequency to attract all that you desireWhen you are positive, you exude strong vibrations from your persona. You will find yourself smiling most of the time, thinking good and prayerful thoughts. You will lead a virtuous life and shun negative qualities such as jealousy, compassion, revenge, anger, hate etc. You will be successful in cultivating a meditative and peaceful mind --- ideal for any creative pursuit. Equanimity of mind and perpetual joy will be your permanent accomplices and negative energies won’t affect you anymore. You will be amongst the crowd and yet peaceful and happy within. You will be empowered because all your joy will have its source within you. Nothing from the outside will have the power to perturb you because of your faith in the Almighty and your own inner resilience.
True, the little things that we ignore are actually the big things of life. We are forever competitive and anxious in everyday life when all the success we desire is just a thought away!
THIS MOMENT, look for all that is good around you. THIS MOMENT, be less harsh on yourself and pat yourself for all that you have been able to achieve till date --- Be thankful for everything in your life. THIS MOMENT, forgive each person who does not make you feel good and begin to look for positive people around you. You will come across assorted personalities throughout the day but your guiding light should only be focused on looking for the good qualities of everyone you meet. Try accomplishing this and observe your life change for the better!
Do read e-books by Sanchita Pandey:
'Voyage to Happiness', 'Spiritual Lessons from life' and 'Cancer to Cure'.
"Sarve Bhavantu Sukhinah,
Sarve santu niramaya
Sarve Bhadrani Pashyantu,
Ma Kaschid Dhukhbhav Bhavet."
This is a prayer for all --- may all lead a life of bliss and may each one of us lead a healthy life. It inspires us to look only for the good in others. With noble thoughts towards all others around you, it promises you a life filled with peace and happiness.
I have personally started repeating this verse many times throughout the day to keep my thoughts and actions positive and wholesome. What you do for others or say to others comes back to you many folds. There is a lot to gain by focusing your mind on the positive qualities of everyone you meet. A few points are furnished below ---
1. What you focus on grows!
Yes, when you appreciate fine qualities in the other person, you unconsciously emulate these qualities. As you think about them, you inadvertently absorb them in your personality. They become a part of you --- your improved self!
2. You become less judgmental of others
When you habitually start looking for all that is good in others, your body language, questions that you seek to ask etc. all revolve around elevating the person in front of you. You leave people better than they were before. As a result, they will desire more of your company.
3. You attract successful and talented people towards yourself
Read the following quote ---
"If you hang out with four millionaires, you’re bound to be the fifth."
True, the company you keep says everything about you. When you are with the right people, you will also come across right opportunities. Your knowledge will grow and exchanging your ideas with them will open new frontiers for learning further and updating your skills. Most of all, you will imbibe the right attitude from the stalwarts around you. And… attitude is everything in life.
4. Great minds discuss ideasLooking for the good in others will change the way you think or converse with others. You will seldom fancy the desire to discuss people unless it is for highlighting their attributes. You will never think of belittling others. Lot of time and energy will be saved for creative pursuits, constructive work and innovative ideas for you to act upon. You will be part of a positive team, working in one direction, trying to explore ways that benefit one and all.
As an individual too, you will have peace of mind, satisfaction and happiness in life, leading a fulfilling life in a positive space. The urge to criticize others or harbouring any other biases against them will cease to find place in the garden of your mind.
5. You will be at a high frequency to attract all that you desireWhen you are positive, you exude strong vibrations from your persona. You will find yourself smiling most of the time, thinking good and prayerful thoughts. You will lead a virtuous life and shun negative qualities such as jealousy, compassion, revenge, anger, hate etc. You will be successful in cultivating a meditative and peaceful mind --- ideal for any creative pursuit. Equanimity of mind and perpetual joy will be your permanent accomplices and negative energies won’t affect you anymore. You will be amongst the crowd and yet peaceful and happy within. You will be empowered because all your joy will have its source within you. Nothing from the outside will have the power to perturb you because of your faith in the Almighty and your own inner resilience.
True, the little things that we ignore are actually the big things of life. We are forever competitive and anxious in everyday life when all the success we desire is just a thought away!
THIS MOMENT, look for all that is good around you. THIS MOMENT, be less harsh on yourself and pat yourself for all that you have been able to achieve till date --- Be thankful for everything in your life. THIS MOMENT, forgive each person who does not make you feel good and begin to look for positive people around you. You will come across assorted personalities throughout the day but your guiding light should only be focused on looking for the good qualities of everyone you meet. Try accomplishing this and observe your life change for the better!
Do read e-books by Sanchita Pandey:
'Voyage to Happiness', 'Spiritual Lessons from life' and 'Cancer to Cure'.
February 9, 2017
Blessings as a Reward
Sincerity can win hearts… for if you really care for someone, it will show! ‘You cannot love without giving’ is an apt saying. Giving need not be in material terms always. It can be much needed timely help, a show of gratitude, a pat of appreciation on the back etc. Such thoughtful gestures reiterate the fact that someone out there really loves you, thinks about you and is concerned about your welfare. From such acts of kindness, one reaps the fruit of blessings --- priceless treasure no less than magic! I call them blessings because when they work on you and your life, you stand and stare in the shimmer and enjoy the experience not understanding how they are showing up in your life.
Most famous and successful people know this and have experienced the magic of blessings. One common thing about all of them is that they really respect their parents and grandparents which shows that they are also caring and kind. And kindness is what you require for elevating your pedestal in life! Why? Because it brings blessings to you. Shah Rukh Khan always mentions his mother in his interviews as a very hard working person remembering her fondly years after her demise. His words cement the beautiful relationship they must have shared with each other. Priyanka Chopra has her mother as a perpetual company in studios or travel or any grand celebration. There are many examples which will cross your mind. From many siblings of a family, the kindest one --- blessed by parents and elders makes a mark in his/her chosen field. This is blessing at work!
Here is an anecdote from my life. My grandmother used to get up at 4 O’Clock in the morning. One day she mentioned casually how cold the water is when she rinses her mouth in the morning. I overheard this and the next morning when I got up early for my studies, I quietly walked into her bathroom before she got up, and placed a mug of lukewarm water for her! The first day she was pleasantly surprised and blessed me, a student at that time, that I would have ample warm water wherever I went in life.
And lo! The geyser literally follows me everywhere I go! After my marriage, a new rule for furnishing our houses was passed officially in my husband’s organization! The geyser was the first fitting in our house! Our next shifting introduced us to a larger-than-needed geyser, the previous inmates had left for unknown reasons. Now we have a duplex house with three bathrooms, all pre-fitted with geysers. There is one in the kitchen too --- all preinstalled by the organization. The sight of a geyser reminds me of my grandma's blessings.
Here is another significant incident of my career as an author. My mother went around the garden for her evening walk praying incessantly for my manuscripts to be published. I did not have belief in myself but she said that she used to visualize how she was holding my books in her hands and reading them! Her words (blessings) came true and today I am ready for the publication of my fourth book --- unbelievable but true! Yes, some things are better left as magic and cannot be explained. This magic can also be called as ‘blessings’ of your elders, parents and well-wishers.
If you too desire this magic in your life, start with sincerely showing love and respect to your parents. Value this treasure you have been given the opportunity to take care of, take out time for them, give exclusive time to talk to them, call them on phone during the day to show you think about them even during work, show your gratitude for everything they have been able to do for you --- know that a parent always tries his best to give you a comfortable life and this comes with umpteen sacrifices you don’t even know about. Smile at them, offer them tea, take them out for a stroll and introduce them proudly in your neighbourhood… Discuss things that make them happy. Be polite and never argue with them even if you think that you know better. They have limited energy, let them conserve it. Discuss topics that they love to engage in to energize their soul. See that they dress up well in colourful clothes and have comfortable shoes to wear. And take them for regular health check-ups… your sincerity will win you real love and magical blessings which will remind you of them every moment even many years after they are gone because of all the abundance around you --- possible only when you have been blessed by someone you loved and who loved you a lot in return--- enough to create magic for a lifetime!
Books by Sanchita Pandey: Voyage to Happiness, Cancer to Cure, Spiritual Lessons from Life (Available on Kindle, e-books and paperback editions)
Most famous and successful people know this and have experienced the magic of blessings. One common thing about all of them is that they really respect their parents and grandparents which shows that they are also caring and kind. And kindness is what you require for elevating your pedestal in life! Why? Because it brings blessings to you. Shah Rukh Khan always mentions his mother in his interviews as a very hard working person remembering her fondly years after her demise. His words cement the beautiful relationship they must have shared with each other. Priyanka Chopra has her mother as a perpetual company in studios or travel or any grand celebration. There are many examples which will cross your mind. From many siblings of a family, the kindest one --- blessed by parents and elders makes a mark in his/her chosen field. This is blessing at work!
Here is an anecdote from my life. My grandmother used to get up at 4 O’Clock in the morning. One day she mentioned casually how cold the water is when she rinses her mouth in the morning. I overheard this and the next morning when I got up early for my studies, I quietly walked into her bathroom before she got up, and placed a mug of lukewarm water for her! The first day she was pleasantly surprised and blessed me, a student at that time, that I would have ample warm water wherever I went in life.
And lo! The geyser literally follows me everywhere I go! After my marriage, a new rule for furnishing our houses was passed officially in my husband’s organization! The geyser was the first fitting in our house! Our next shifting introduced us to a larger-than-needed geyser, the previous inmates had left for unknown reasons. Now we have a duplex house with three bathrooms, all pre-fitted with geysers. There is one in the kitchen too --- all preinstalled by the organization. The sight of a geyser reminds me of my grandma's blessings.
Here is another significant incident of my career as an author. My mother went around the garden for her evening walk praying incessantly for my manuscripts to be published. I did not have belief in myself but she said that she used to visualize how she was holding my books in her hands and reading them! Her words (blessings) came true and today I am ready for the publication of my fourth book --- unbelievable but true! Yes, some things are better left as magic and cannot be explained. This magic can also be called as ‘blessings’ of your elders, parents and well-wishers.
If you too desire this magic in your life, start with sincerely showing love and respect to your parents. Value this treasure you have been given the opportunity to take care of, take out time for them, give exclusive time to talk to them, call them on phone during the day to show you think about them even during work, show your gratitude for everything they have been able to do for you --- know that a parent always tries his best to give you a comfortable life and this comes with umpteen sacrifices you don’t even know about. Smile at them, offer them tea, take them out for a stroll and introduce them proudly in your neighbourhood… Discuss things that make them happy. Be polite and never argue with them even if you think that you know better. They have limited energy, let them conserve it. Discuss topics that they love to engage in to energize their soul. See that they dress up well in colourful clothes and have comfortable shoes to wear. And take them for regular health check-ups… your sincerity will win you real love and magical blessings which will remind you of them every moment even many years after they are gone because of all the abundance around you --- possible only when you have been blessed by someone you loved and who loved you a lot in return--- enough to create magic for a lifetime!
Books by Sanchita Pandey: Voyage to Happiness, Cancer to Cure, Spiritual Lessons from Life (Available on Kindle, e-books and paperback editions)
The Universe is listening!
It is not about reading books that changes your life. You have to follow the good you have learnt from the book and bring it into practice in everyday life till it becomes a habit. Habits make your character and character carves your destiny… and lives change for the better! It is not sufficient to be a fan or follower of a famous or great personality. You can pay your highest regards to your idol by following and learning his qualities you appreciate so much. This will require awareness and practice and may even take time but that is true love and respect.
I was editing the manuscript of my next book when I found myself reeling under tension for a small issue. And just then there was a change of mind when I read my own lines in the book! Just one thought and everything seemed so easy and clear. No tension and life seemed easy and happy once again! Hey! Isn’t it true that we do not have to take all our problems and think of solving them ourselves --- even the very trivial ones. Well, if it is making you uncomfortable or intimidating you in any way, take a break and just outsource it to the Almighty. Forget it and move on. Another way is to ask the Universe, talk to it in detail and clarify all that you want to happen. Again, forget it! You will reap all the benefits at the right time!
Now, this may seem either too easy or too difficult to believe. If it is too easy, try it! If it is too challenging for belief, I can furnish an example where this worked well for me! My daughter’s teeth on the upper jaw were quite misaligned and a visit to the dentist meant to begin preparing ourselves for extraction of two teeth on the upper jaw to make space for the other teeth to align well. This seemed difficult for me and I could not gather enough courage to convince my daughter to get braces and later enjoy displaying a perfect smile.
The braces were nonetheless set but we would have to make up our mind for teeth extraction. In one of her tuition classes, I met her friend and while conversing with her, just appreciated her shining and white teeth, all so beautiful and straight. I wished in my mind how beautiful it would feel if my daughter’s teeth too were so straight. I looked towards the sky and just asked for it from the sky and the sun and trees… whatever made up the Universe. Well, time passed and after lot of cajoling, when I finally accompanied my daughter to visit the dentist for tooth extraction, there was surprise waiting for both the doctor and patient. All the teeth had aligned perfectly on their own and there was no need for any extraction! This was quite unbelievable but true nonetheless. Well, Universe did intervene and made us comfortable and very happy indeed! Yes, prayer and faith can work wonders.
A few moments back I was getting agitated thinking about my gardener who had not heeded many of my requests concerning our garden. At one point of time, moments ago, I even decided to fire him till I read a few lines from the manuscript of my own soon-to-be-published book! Well, suddenly I shifted to thinking positive and all tension was gone. Why did I have to solve all my problems on my own? I outsourced my anxiety to the Universe and told it in detail what kind of garden I wanted --- one with carpet-like thick green grass and colorful flowers all around… and yes, the bricks painted white, laid perfectly in line…not to miss the hedge which I want to look healthy and green without any gaps in between. And guess what, the Universe is listening and I am waiting for my beautiful garden to be presented to me sometime soon! Wish you good luck in your own beautiful journey called life. I know for sure that if you will ask, you will surely receive! So, ask! …and wait to receive with gratitude…
Sanchita Pandey is the author of books like 'Voyage to Happiness', 'Cancer to Cure' and 'Spiritual Lessons from Life'. Read them on Kindle or download e-books on your mobile/computer. You can also order paperback editions from Amazon.com
I was editing the manuscript of my next book when I found myself reeling under tension for a small issue. And just then there was a change of mind when I read my own lines in the book! Just one thought and everything seemed so easy and clear. No tension and life seemed easy and happy once again! Hey! Isn’t it true that we do not have to take all our problems and think of solving them ourselves --- even the very trivial ones. Well, if it is making you uncomfortable or intimidating you in any way, take a break and just outsource it to the Almighty. Forget it and move on. Another way is to ask the Universe, talk to it in detail and clarify all that you want to happen. Again, forget it! You will reap all the benefits at the right time!
Now, this may seem either too easy or too difficult to believe. If it is too easy, try it! If it is too challenging for belief, I can furnish an example where this worked well for me! My daughter’s teeth on the upper jaw were quite misaligned and a visit to the dentist meant to begin preparing ourselves for extraction of two teeth on the upper jaw to make space for the other teeth to align well. This seemed difficult for me and I could not gather enough courage to convince my daughter to get braces and later enjoy displaying a perfect smile.
The braces were nonetheless set but we would have to make up our mind for teeth extraction. In one of her tuition classes, I met her friend and while conversing with her, just appreciated her shining and white teeth, all so beautiful and straight. I wished in my mind how beautiful it would feel if my daughter’s teeth too were so straight. I looked towards the sky and just asked for it from the sky and the sun and trees… whatever made up the Universe. Well, time passed and after lot of cajoling, when I finally accompanied my daughter to visit the dentist for tooth extraction, there was surprise waiting for both the doctor and patient. All the teeth had aligned perfectly on their own and there was no need for any extraction! This was quite unbelievable but true nonetheless. Well, Universe did intervene and made us comfortable and very happy indeed! Yes, prayer and faith can work wonders.
A few moments back I was getting agitated thinking about my gardener who had not heeded many of my requests concerning our garden. At one point of time, moments ago, I even decided to fire him till I read a few lines from the manuscript of my own soon-to-be-published book! Well, suddenly I shifted to thinking positive and all tension was gone. Why did I have to solve all my problems on my own? I outsourced my anxiety to the Universe and told it in detail what kind of garden I wanted --- one with carpet-like thick green grass and colorful flowers all around… and yes, the bricks painted white, laid perfectly in line…not to miss the hedge which I want to look healthy and green without any gaps in between. And guess what, the Universe is listening and I am waiting for my beautiful garden to be presented to me sometime soon! Wish you good luck in your own beautiful journey called life. I know for sure that if you will ask, you will surely receive! So, ask! …and wait to receive with gratitude…
Sanchita Pandey is the author of books like 'Voyage to Happiness', 'Cancer to Cure' and 'Spiritual Lessons from Life'. Read them on Kindle or download e-books on your mobile/computer. You can also order paperback editions from Amazon.com
June 23, 2016
Take Charge of Your Life
Today a very pertinent quotation caught my attention. It said, ’’If you are giving someone your best and it’s not enough, then you are giving it to the wrong person.’’ We have always been taught to love even our enemies. Gandhian philosophy revolves around showing your other cheek if someone slaps you! Well, with times, we have to keep realigning our beliefs according to the environment around us.
Your Thoughts Have Impact on Your Health
It has now been proved that our thoughts are responsible for our health. Alter your thoughts and you can change your life! Yes, this is true. Every action --- good or bad, finds its source in our thoughts first. If we program our mind to think only positive thoughts throughout the day, be in the company of positive people and ignore the negative things we come across all through the day, we can remain more energetic and happy.
What if the Problem Walks to Us?
Generally, you attract people and situations according to your thoughts. My friend was always a good natured and shy girl and she got married into a family where her husband was the only son --- educated and sophisticated. She enjoys enough freedom and personal space and cherishes the fact that she has ample time for pursuing her hobbies and learning new skills when her husband is busy in office.
As opposed to this, one of my neighbours was into the habit of discussing people and colony politics, bitching about them and deliberating on every minute detail she knew about them. As an adult, she got married into a family comprising of finicky and mean members even she could not outsmart! It took her many years of patience, sulking and brooding after which her married life normalized gradually --- not before her daughter grew up and they shifted to their own house. She still regrets the loss of wonderful years of her life with her husband as a newlywed couple.
Why Be Bogged Down by Any Situation?
We know that another way to tackle a situation is not to be overwhelmed by it. If we are not affected by a situation, what impact can it have on us? Similarly, we can learn to ignore people we do not like. However, another aspect of this predicament is that if it is an acquaintance or a relative/family member we have to face, then what? We cannot run away from certain situations and some people.
Mr. Kumar takes control of everything going on around him --- in his house or his office. Give others a chance, and they will prefer to run away from him! His presence is like being confined to a prison for all those who are sitting around him. He has the habit of commenting negatively on anything and everything on this earth. He can condemn your dress or censure you from speaking at all. He may praise someone or disapprove of someone --- all at the same time. He is judgmental of others and of himself. While he will give you least marks for your work, he remembers to assess himself as being the best and foremost in everything he does --- even his new failed experiments in writing and drawing!
Mr. Kumar is such a perfectionist that he cannot rely on you to carry your tea cup to the kitchen lest you may drop it! You are always alerted as to how far you can go anywhere in his house, how many times you have to wash your hands for even thinking to get up from his posh sofa. Well, his eyes will generate your report card as to how rustic you actually are and how much remains for you to learn still! Tell me, do you adjust with such a person or call the shots?
Respect Yourself Before you Respect Others Too Much
We must respect ourselves for everything we are. Let us not spend our lives trying to please people who are unhappy themselves. Let each one us take care of himself first before lending a hand to support others. If it is a one way traffic where only you exude love and the other person does not even bother about your feelings, it is time to take notice and stop deceiving yourself. Who will take care of you if you fall sick? Ignore the negativity and involve yourself with positive occupations like yoga, walking or gym and other hobbies you enjoy doing and always be happy. Stress and negative thinking sucks away our energy making us tired too soon.
Enjoy Freedom in Life
The biggest gift that you have in life is your good health and freedom. If you find anyone impinging on your freedom of movement, encroaching upon your way of thinking or intruding your personal space to limit you from carrying out your daily chores, you should explain to him once but never compromise on these fronts. Takers do not stop at one thing and want more and more from others. You must stand for yourself, speak for yourself and assert where you feel is needed. Assertion is different from getting angry, It is being in control and being in charge of each word you are deliberately (not carelessly) speaking. Know what you want, know what you like, love yourself and do not stop soaring till you know for sure that the path you have taken is the right one.
Respect Others As Much As You Respect Yourself
I got exasperated with a gentleman who in the middle of the conversation abruptly cut short to say ‘bye’ and ended the phone call! Another acquaintance called up at uncomfortable hours such as dinner time or midnight just to connect on video and say hello to all my family members. Both are extreme cases either displaying scant respect for others or being so self-centered that they do not care if you feel offended. There are a few self-invited guests too who love to visit you after every doctor’s appointment. They don’t bother to check if you are busy; Your presence at home is enough invitation for them!
Well, how do you tackle such people in your daily life? You are torn between acting spiritual and being true to yourself. My experience has been that right from the beginning, it is always better to be true to the person that you are. Spirituality does not intend to make you a door mat. It makes you more assertive and clear in your mind. We need to understand that it is important to keep our peace of mind intact too.
Do Read 'Voyage to Happiness' available on Amazon.inHence, I feel, it is not always possible to love everyone. Yes, it is possible ‘not to hate’ anyone. You can ignore or show disapproval to people who do not elevate you, try to use you or just annoy you. Don’t go further ahead into such a relationship. There is no question of diplomacy in such a scenario. While you are yourself not disturbing and bothering others, you are wholesome on yourself by not letting or allowing them to bother you.
Goodness remains. The shift is only concerning being good towards your own self. You must acknowledge and respect your judgment about others and send out a clear message to the other person as to your disapproval of his selfish behaviour. No diplomacy this! And you save yourself much time and botheration too. True, times have changed and it is time to ring in the new --- for a hassle free and happy life. Someone has rightly said, ’’You can’t always be nice. That’s how people take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set boundaries.’’
Your Thoughts Have Impact on Your Health
It has now been proved that our thoughts are responsible for our health. Alter your thoughts and you can change your life! Yes, this is true. Every action --- good or bad, finds its source in our thoughts first. If we program our mind to think only positive thoughts throughout the day, be in the company of positive people and ignore the negative things we come across all through the day, we can remain more energetic and happy.
What if the Problem Walks to Us?
Generally, you attract people and situations according to your thoughts. My friend was always a good natured and shy girl and she got married into a family where her husband was the only son --- educated and sophisticated. She enjoys enough freedom and personal space and cherishes the fact that she has ample time for pursuing her hobbies and learning new skills when her husband is busy in office.
As opposed to this, one of my neighbours was into the habit of discussing people and colony politics, bitching about them and deliberating on every minute detail she knew about them. As an adult, she got married into a family comprising of finicky and mean members even she could not outsmart! It took her many years of patience, sulking and brooding after which her married life normalized gradually --- not before her daughter grew up and they shifted to their own house. She still regrets the loss of wonderful years of her life with her husband as a newlywed couple.
Why Be Bogged Down by Any Situation?
We know that another way to tackle a situation is not to be overwhelmed by it. If we are not affected by a situation, what impact can it have on us? Similarly, we can learn to ignore people we do not like. However, another aspect of this predicament is that if it is an acquaintance or a relative/family member we have to face, then what? We cannot run away from certain situations and some people.
Mr. Kumar takes control of everything going on around him --- in his house or his office. Give others a chance, and they will prefer to run away from him! His presence is like being confined to a prison for all those who are sitting around him. He has the habit of commenting negatively on anything and everything on this earth. He can condemn your dress or censure you from speaking at all. He may praise someone or disapprove of someone --- all at the same time. He is judgmental of others and of himself. While he will give you least marks for your work, he remembers to assess himself as being the best and foremost in everything he does --- even his new failed experiments in writing and drawing!
Mr. Kumar is such a perfectionist that he cannot rely on you to carry your tea cup to the kitchen lest you may drop it! You are always alerted as to how far you can go anywhere in his house, how many times you have to wash your hands for even thinking to get up from his posh sofa. Well, his eyes will generate your report card as to how rustic you actually are and how much remains for you to learn still! Tell me, do you adjust with such a person or call the shots?
Respect Yourself Before you Respect Others Too Much
We must respect ourselves for everything we are. Let us not spend our lives trying to please people who are unhappy themselves. Let each one us take care of himself first before lending a hand to support others. If it is a one way traffic where only you exude love and the other person does not even bother about your feelings, it is time to take notice and stop deceiving yourself. Who will take care of you if you fall sick? Ignore the negativity and involve yourself with positive occupations like yoga, walking or gym and other hobbies you enjoy doing and always be happy. Stress and negative thinking sucks away our energy making us tired too soon.
Enjoy Freedom in Life
The biggest gift that you have in life is your good health and freedom. If you find anyone impinging on your freedom of movement, encroaching upon your way of thinking or intruding your personal space to limit you from carrying out your daily chores, you should explain to him once but never compromise on these fronts. Takers do not stop at one thing and want more and more from others. You must stand for yourself, speak for yourself and assert where you feel is needed. Assertion is different from getting angry, It is being in control and being in charge of each word you are deliberately (not carelessly) speaking. Know what you want, know what you like, love yourself and do not stop soaring till you know for sure that the path you have taken is the right one.
Respect Others As Much As You Respect Yourself
I got exasperated with a gentleman who in the middle of the conversation abruptly cut short to say ‘bye’ and ended the phone call! Another acquaintance called up at uncomfortable hours such as dinner time or midnight just to connect on video and say hello to all my family members. Both are extreme cases either displaying scant respect for others or being so self-centered that they do not care if you feel offended. There are a few self-invited guests too who love to visit you after every doctor’s appointment. They don’t bother to check if you are busy; Your presence at home is enough invitation for them!
Well, how do you tackle such people in your daily life? You are torn between acting spiritual and being true to yourself. My experience has been that right from the beginning, it is always better to be true to the person that you are. Spirituality does not intend to make you a door mat. It makes you more assertive and clear in your mind. We need to understand that it is important to keep our peace of mind intact too.
Do Read 'Voyage to Happiness' available on Amazon.inHence, I feel, it is not always possible to love everyone. Yes, it is possible ‘not to hate’ anyone. You can ignore or show disapproval to people who do not elevate you, try to use you or just annoy you. Don’t go further ahead into such a relationship. There is no question of diplomacy in such a scenario. While you are yourself not disturbing and bothering others, you are wholesome on yourself by not letting or allowing them to bother you.
Goodness remains. The shift is only concerning being good towards your own self. You must acknowledge and respect your judgment about others and send out a clear message to the other person as to your disapproval of his selfish behaviour. No diplomacy this! And you save yourself much time and botheration too. True, times have changed and it is time to ring in the new --- for a hassle free and happy life. Someone has rightly said, ’’You can’t always be nice. That’s how people take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set boundaries.’’
February 8, 2016
Never Complain in Life
Complaining is never the solution for any problem. In fact, it is the easiest thing to do. Even a fool can complain. All great people have worked and risen against odd circumstances and come out a winner. They have an inherent vision to see opportunity even in adverse circumstances. Just like kites rise against the wind, they too keep learning and improving constantly and climb the ladder of success.
Why You Should Never Complain
When you complain, you send out wrong vibrations.You present yourself as a victim who is made to suffer and do not look under control. A person who is not in control of his own life will never be able to show leadership at work.
Secondly, a complainer becomes a negative person, speaking ill about others, his organization and about life itself. With such a negative aura around yourself, can you even think of succeeding in any realm of life?
Thirdly, every time you complain, you are etching the expressions in your own mind too! After some days, they seem so real to you that you actually start wondering why you are continuing in the organization or with your work! Either you resign or you attract circumstances that see to it that you are out of the place.
Complaining is never the solution for anything.
Well, if you detest something, either take action and do something about it or accept your situation and derive the best of what you can. Just complaining for the same things every day, without thinking of ways to solve your problems is futile.
Complaining also suggests that you are not in gratitude. For a happy and joyful life, it is necessary that you are in gratitude for all that you already possess. Only then will you bring in abundance in your life.
Is Your Problem Genuine?
It is possible that sometimes your problem is genuine. Well, in that case, just keep your balance of mind and think deeply. You will find that invariably there are about five solutions to every problem! Yes, this is true. But, you have to sit quietly and meditate on these five solutions. When your focus will shift to finding solutions for your predicament, well, you will certainly come out victorious.
Personally, I have solved my difficult problems by sleeping over them! Sounds strange though. I say my problem to the Almighty and ask Him for the solution. For instance, my college had misplaced my class X Board marks certificate. I had the Photostat copy of the certificate and that was enough. However, for my LL.B. admission, I was asked to bring this certificate.
Who would go all the way to Bhopal in Madhya Pradesh to get it? Most of the times, it is a holiday and the University counter was closed. Where would we stay there? Then, loss of studies for the children too had to be taken into account. Well, I slept over the problem after telling the Almighty about my predicament.
When I got up in the morning, I had the solution in my mind! Why not ask the Principal of my old school to send it to me. Though the Principal was new and did not know me, he inquired from my batch mates about me and within a few months, the original board certificate was in my hands! It was like a miracle for me.
Pray Instead of Complaining!
A better thing to do whenever you feel like complaining is to be in prayer. A prayerful mind will never complain. You deplete your own energy by complaining and will feel tired. However, connecting to a Higher source will fill you with renewed energy and enthusiasm.
In life, every moment you have a choice. You can choose happiness or just be satisfied complaining.However, you will find that there is no end to complaining! Why not choose to be a victor rather than fretting and whining. Pray and work hard to find the right solutions to each of your problems and embrace happiness!
Just tell me, when you visit a place of worship and the priest offers you 'prasad', do you tell him, ''Not this, give me some other thing.'' Similarly, take whatever comes your way as a gift of God. Either have the resilience to change your circumstances or as Swami Sukhbodhananda says, 'Accept the isness of what is' and keep going, striving happily.
Happy thoughts bring joy in your life. People want to be with joyful and zestful people and not complainers. Decide today to see and focus on all that is beautiful, wherever you are standing right now and see yourself soaring high up in your happiness quotient!
Why You Should Never Complain
When you complain, you send out wrong vibrations.You present yourself as a victim who is made to suffer and do not look under control. A person who is not in control of his own life will never be able to show leadership at work.
Secondly, a complainer becomes a negative person, speaking ill about others, his organization and about life itself. With such a negative aura around yourself, can you even think of succeeding in any realm of life?
Thirdly, every time you complain, you are etching the expressions in your own mind too! After some days, they seem so real to you that you actually start wondering why you are continuing in the organization or with your work! Either you resign or you attract circumstances that see to it that you are out of the place.
Complaining is never the solution for anything.
Well, if you detest something, either take action and do something about it or accept your situation and derive the best of what you can. Just complaining for the same things every day, without thinking of ways to solve your problems is futile.
Complaining also suggests that you are not in gratitude. For a happy and joyful life, it is necessary that you are in gratitude for all that you already possess. Only then will you bring in abundance in your life.
Is Your Problem Genuine?
It is possible that sometimes your problem is genuine. Well, in that case, just keep your balance of mind and think deeply. You will find that invariably there are about five solutions to every problem! Yes, this is true. But, you have to sit quietly and meditate on these five solutions. When your focus will shift to finding solutions for your predicament, well, you will certainly come out victorious.
Personally, I have solved my difficult problems by sleeping over them! Sounds strange though. I say my problem to the Almighty and ask Him for the solution. For instance, my college had misplaced my class X Board marks certificate. I had the Photostat copy of the certificate and that was enough. However, for my LL.B. admission, I was asked to bring this certificate.
Who would go all the way to Bhopal in Madhya Pradesh to get it? Most of the times, it is a holiday and the University counter was closed. Where would we stay there? Then, loss of studies for the children too had to be taken into account. Well, I slept over the problem after telling the Almighty about my predicament.
When I got up in the morning, I had the solution in my mind! Why not ask the Principal of my old school to send it to me. Though the Principal was new and did not know me, he inquired from my batch mates about me and within a few months, the original board certificate was in my hands! It was like a miracle for me.
Pray Instead of Complaining!
A better thing to do whenever you feel like complaining is to be in prayer. A prayerful mind will never complain. You deplete your own energy by complaining and will feel tired. However, connecting to a Higher source will fill you with renewed energy and enthusiasm.
In life, every moment you have a choice. You can choose happiness or just be satisfied complaining.However, you will find that there is no end to complaining! Why not choose to be a victor rather than fretting and whining. Pray and work hard to find the right solutions to each of your problems and embrace happiness!
Just tell me, when you visit a place of worship and the priest offers you 'prasad', do you tell him, ''Not this, give me some other thing.'' Similarly, take whatever comes your way as a gift of God. Either have the resilience to change your circumstances or as Swami Sukhbodhananda says, 'Accept the isness of what is' and keep going, striving happily.
Happy thoughts bring joy in your life. People want to be with joyful and zestful people and not complainers. Decide today to see and focus on all that is beautiful, wherever you are standing right now and see yourself soaring high up in your happiness quotient!
February 7, 2016
Practice Spirituality in your daily life
We all belong to some religion or the other. Every form you fill has a separate column asking you about which religion you belong to. Most politicians work their way to power based on caste politics. From matrimonial columns to many caste based organizations, you can find religion everywhere. Every religion swears to unite people while ironically, it is sometimes religion which is the cause for conflicts too!
When I inadvertently pick up story books meant for children, I sometimes feel that I can actually get the real meaning of each of these fables now. They are more than stories. They have underlying spiritual meaning which as children, we may not have understood.
Let me give you an example. I read a story 'God Provides' in which a king made every possible effort to stop a poor man who used to sing happily every evening biting cheese in between. Jealous of his happiness, the King changed rules of employment, forbid the poor man from entering the forest so that he would not be able to collect dry twigs for selling etc. and so be unhappy!
But it so happened that this man found some means or the other to earn his bread daily... and eat his cheese too while humming his songs merrily! The King had to relent in the end and made him his minister. This is to say 'God Provides'. For children, the story is quite amusing but when I read it now, I feel that this story is more about keeping your faith in the Almighty, to persevere in life amidst obstacles and to move on...
Spirituality is about leading a 'saatvic' (pure) life, taking care of entertaining right and positive thoughts and actions throughout the day. Your outer conditions improve when your inner world is beautiful. Thus, a spiritual person enjoys heaven here on earth --- blissful life of peace, abundance and happiness!
Spirituality can make your life easy
I know a woman who is extremely religious and knows each and every nuance attached with any kind of prayer performed during festivals. However, since she is only religious rather than being spiritual, she is too attached with the terrace of her house. She won't let anyone enter there, not even her neighbours and takes total control of people and the place when any ritual has to be performed there. Had she been spiritual, she would be more giving, accommodating and loving towards everyone.
Spirituality teaches you to share, be non-judgmental and let others enjoy their own space of freedom. Spirituality is about meditatively reaching out to the Almighty and being connected with Him all through the day!
A spiritual person does not see himself separate from others and so readily forgives others.
Spirituality teaches you to be and let be
There is no fear where there is spirituality. You become more aware of everything around you. As such, a spiritual being is immersed in his work with concentration, practices honesty, stays away from needless arguments and is peaceful. He is not egocentric and performs his work only as a medium of God. For instance, a surgeon puts his skill to the best of his ability while operating on his patient. But, how fast the patient will recoup is in God's hands. According to a spiritual person, he is not the doer. He is only doing what comes his way, to the best of his abilities.
Spirituality makes you a more balanced person
A spiritual person can see magic everywhere! His source of happiness are the little things of life. He sees beauty in nature, in the lovely flower, in the laughter of a child and is always filled with gratitude for everything. His source of happiness also lies in the core of his being! This means, he is not happy because of material things and outer achievements. He is always happy! Does he need any reason for it?It becomes his habit to keep smiling and lead a happy life. Well, during times of sorrow, he keeps equanimity and balance of mind. He believes in 'This too shall pass' philosophy and has an innate patience that sees him through difficult times. May be, this resilience comes from his unfettering faith in the Almighty.
A spiritual person is never angry!
You say that you do not get angry and it is the incident that made you angry. But the point is, there was a seed of anger in you. The flint got fiery when an outside force acted as a buffer!
A spiritual person, however, is always in control. He has underlying principles of living his life well. He follows unwritten rules which he unconsciously follows not because he is answerable to anyone, but because he feels that he is answerable to God. He is always connected to a Higher source of energy and so you will see him forever enthusiastic and bubbling with zest and energy to do better and serve better. His love and zeal will show in his impeccable and passionate work.
Outside factors cannot make a spiritual person lose control. Just like he manages himself, he is adept at managing people. He is assertive but will never be found yelling at others. Every word he speaks comes after proper deliberation. Nothing is left to chance for such a person.
James Allen has rightly said, ''Circumstances do not make a man; they reveal him to himself.'' A spiritual person can be religious too! You can be spiritual yet religious. What is the harm in continuing with your age old customs, family traditions and practices?
Well, the point is that if a religious person is not spiritual, then he does not learn the right ways of leading a happy life. He becomes busy in outside exertion without learning to lead an unattached, balanced, compassionate and peaceful life filled with love for himself and for others. Spirituality is not about your beliefs. It is more about how you live your life and how you feel every moment.
Prayer is not just about reciting and finishing your daily 'mantras' and reaching office. A simple prayer sitting in silence and connecting to a higher energy saying a heartfelt 'Thank you' may be enough too. You have to enhance your thoughts, be in gratitude, spread love, help, care and share with those around you. What better prayer can you offer?
When I inadvertently pick up story books meant for children, I sometimes feel that I can actually get the real meaning of each of these fables now. They are more than stories. They have underlying spiritual meaning which as children, we may not have understood.
Let me give you an example. I read a story 'God Provides' in which a king made every possible effort to stop a poor man who used to sing happily every evening biting cheese in between. Jealous of his happiness, the King changed rules of employment, forbid the poor man from entering the forest so that he would not be able to collect dry twigs for selling etc. and so be unhappy!
But it so happened that this man found some means or the other to earn his bread daily... and eat his cheese too while humming his songs merrily! The King had to relent in the end and made him his minister. This is to say 'God Provides'. For children, the story is quite amusing but when I read it now, I feel that this story is more about keeping your faith in the Almighty, to persevere in life amidst obstacles and to move on...
Spirituality is about leading a 'saatvic' (pure) life, taking care of entertaining right and positive thoughts and actions throughout the day. Your outer conditions improve when your inner world is beautiful. Thus, a spiritual person enjoys heaven here on earth --- blissful life of peace, abundance and happiness!
Spirituality can make your life easy
I know a woman who is extremely religious and knows each and every nuance attached with any kind of prayer performed during festivals. However, since she is only religious rather than being spiritual, she is too attached with the terrace of her house. She won't let anyone enter there, not even her neighbours and takes total control of people and the place when any ritual has to be performed there. Had she been spiritual, she would be more giving, accommodating and loving towards everyone.
Spirituality teaches you to share, be non-judgmental and let others enjoy their own space of freedom. Spirituality is about meditatively reaching out to the Almighty and being connected with Him all through the day!
A spiritual person does not see himself separate from others and so readily forgives others.
Spirituality teaches you to be and let be
There is no fear where there is spirituality. You become more aware of everything around you. As such, a spiritual being is immersed in his work with concentration, practices honesty, stays away from needless arguments and is peaceful. He is not egocentric and performs his work only as a medium of God. For instance, a surgeon puts his skill to the best of his ability while operating on his patient. But, how fast the patient will recoup is in God's hands. According to a spiritual person, he is not the doer. He is only doing what comes his way, to the best of his abilities.
Spirituality makes you a more balanced person
A spiritual person can see magic everywhere! His source of happiness are the little things of life. He sees beauty in nature, in the lovely flower, in the laughter of a child and is always filled with gratitude for everything. His source of happiness also lies in the core of his being! This means, he is not happy because of material things and outer achievements. He is always happy! Does he need any reason for it?It becomes his habit to keep smiling and lead a happy life. Well, during times of sorrow, he keeps equanimity and balance of mind. He believes in 'This too shall pass' philosophy and has an innate patience that sees him through difficult times. May be, this resilience comes from his unfettering faith in the Almighty.
A spiritual person is never angry!
You say that you do not get angry and it is the incident that made you angry. But the point is, there was a seed of anger in you. The flint got fiery when an outside force acted as a buffer!
A spiritual person, however, is always in control. He has underlying principles of living his life well. He follows unwritten rules which he unconsciously follows not because he is answerable to anyone, but because he feels that he is answerable to God. He is always connected to a Higher source of energy and so you will see him forever enthusiastic and bubbling with zest and energy to do better and serve better. His love and zeal will show in his impeccable and passionate work.
Outside factors cannot make a spiritual person lose control. Just like he manages himself, he is adept at managing people. He is assertive but will never be found yelling at others. Every word he speaks comes after proper deliberation. Nothing is left to chance for such a person.
James Allen has rightly said, ''Circumstances do not make a man; they reveal him to himself.'' A spiritual person can be religious too! You can be spiritual yet religious. What is the harm in continuing with your age old customs, family traditions and practices?
Well, the point is that if a religious person is not spiritual, then he does not learn the right ways of leading a happy life. He becomes busy in outside exertion without learning to lead an unattached, balanced, compassionate and peaceful life filled with love for himself and for others. Spirituality is not about your beliefs. It is more about how you live your life and how you feel every moment.
Prayer is not just about reciting and finishing your daily 'mantras' and reaching office. A simple prayer sitting in silence and connecting to a higher energy saying a heartfelt 'Thank you' may be enough too. You have to enhance your thoughts, be in gratitude, spread love, help, care and share with those around you. What better prayer can you offer?
February 4, 2016
What Does a Happy Family Look Like?
Getting up early in the morning is a habit with me as I have been the milkman of the house from the time I entered school! I got up listening to the sweet yet faint jingles emanating from my mother's anklet and ran down the stairs to collect milk bottles from the milk booth. What I did to help my mother, actually helped me form a disciplined life from my infancy. I earned goodies from her much before my other siblings got up to even know about it!
Well, today I get up as a mother who has to prepare Tiffin and breakfast for her daughters and husband. After an hour, when everyone is out of their beds and even ready for office and school, I hear voices saying 'yummy' as an acknowledgement for the tasty preparation. While I am busy ironing inside the bedroom, I am smart enough to hear the clack of pressure cooker being opened and closed securely. I know what is happening in the kitchen. One by one, they are putting half of what is offered to them on their plates, back into the pressure cooker! They think I do not know it and keep up with their nicety by accepting the banana handed over to them by me. Once they are out of the house, it will be me with my fuming self, distributing the breakfast to the birds already awaiting their share. However, I am satisfied that none of them has ventured out of the house hungry.
You may agree that ours is not a perfect family. How can it be? We are all acting funny behind each other's back. However, each one is concerned and satisfied that the other member is happy. We all care for each other and love one another. Just think, if every family lives a happy life, the entire world will be peaceful and joyful. It is as simple as this!
Basic Elements of a Happy Family
What I am taking into account while writing this is a gist of what I have seen and experienced in families we know. Well, any family can become a happy family gradually by working on issues that hamper peace and love in the house.
1. A Happy Family is Composed of 'Givers'
Each member is 'giving' in his own small way, trying to help the other, appreciating any small deed done well and giving the gift of faith, love and freedom. In the families which unveil inner confusion and criticism at the surface, one common trait that I have noticed is that every member is a 'taker'. Each one wants the other to handle and fix unforeseen issues like sudden arrival of a guest and sickness of a child or old member in the family.
The startling fact about such families is that you just saw them pack up together going out for a vacation! They are takers and they love to go out together for enjoyment on a holiday. But, as soon as they come back home, each one is tied back to their own important concerns and the surplus is left to be looked out by any one of them. Well, who? No one is ready to relent or give and hence quarrels take over their living space.
2. A Happy Family Fixes Situations not People!
In some families, if the child does not fare well in exams, the mother is yelled upon by the husband. That is not the end! Her entire self esteem is robbed off from her and she is reminded of her low IQ level, educational deficit along with comparisons with other women who are socially more active and smart! This is exploitation and domestic violence, albeit verbal! The child is late for school, well, blame and curse the mother. Mother-in-law is unwell --- blame the woman of the house for not taking enough care. Can such a family where the mother is not respected be happy. How can an unhappy woman give happiness? Remember, you can only give what you yourself possess! The woman is the fulcrum of the house. To live in a peaceful home, she must be happy and respected.
3. A Happy Family Celebrates the Success of Every Member
When my little one wrote a lovely poem, we went out for dinner together to make her feel important and encourage her to write more of such lovely poems. Well, she has already written around 30 poems and we will get them published once she reaches her goal of 50 poems.
In some households, any intellectual discussion will never include other members who are not professionals! There is an unforeseen division prevalent in the family which reflects that other members are not good enough while those who are doctors or engineers belong to a higher realm and so out of reach and above family discussions. This is wrong.
A happy family stays together, laughs together and enjoys together. They love each other's company and appreciate one another for any added accolade. Every step taken further is seen as a feather in the cap for the entire family which is true!
4. A Happy Family Stays Together in Times of Sickness and Sorrow
My friend's husband was diagnosed with cancer a few days back. When we went to meet them, I heard her rebuking her husband for having 'gutka' and 'paan' (areca nut and beetel nut) during his college days. 'Suffer for your own folly'', she said to our dismay. Well, it was no surprise that she applied and got selected for an yearly course abroad. She keeps sending her friends pictures of her mall visits and festival celebrations. Her husband is left alone to take care of himself and his three sons with some help from servants and short visits of their relatives.
It is not about stopping anyone from furthering his skills and education but the timing was not right. A beautiful family cares for the sick member, nurses him, feeds him, talks to him to dispel his anxieties...
5. A Happy Family Has an Unseen Hierarchy, Though Every One Stays in Freedom
Though every member enjoys respect, every happy family knows who has the ultimate say in the house. The younger person is loaded with love and the eldest acts judge in times of need. Every member decides for himself but the important decisions have to go through the safety net and experience accumulated by the senior member of the family. Where such hierarchy is absent, there is chaos and so no peace and happiness.
Last, but not the least, families today should become spiritual more than being religious. Spirituality reminds you of some basic tenets of living well such as love, discipline, caring, sharing, forgiveness, gratitude and appreciation. Make your family a happy family by giving each other respect, appreciation and love they so rightly deserve. If you love somebody, show it!
Well, today I get up as a mother who has to prepare Tiffin and breakfast for her daughters and husband. After an hour, when everyone is out of their beds and even ready for office and school, I hear voices saying 'yummy' as an acknowledgement for the tasty preparation. While I am busy ironing inside the bedroom, I am smart enough to hear the clack of pressure cooker being opened and closed securely. I know what is happening in the kitchen. One by one, they are putting half of what is offered to them on their plates, back into the pressure cooker! They think I do not know it and keep up with their nicety by accepting the banana handed over to them by me. Once they are out of the house, it will be me with my fuming self, distributing the breakfast to the birds already awaiting their share. However, I am satisfied that none of them has ventured out of the house hungry.
You may agree that ours is not a perfect family. How can it be? We are all acting funny behind each other's back. However, each one is concerned and satisfied that the other member is happy. We all care for each other and love one another. Just think, if every family lives a happy life, the entire world will be peaceful and joyful. It is as simple as this!
Basic Elements of a Happy Family
What I am taking into account while writing this is a gist of what I have seen and experienced in families we know. Well, any family can become a happy family gradually by working on issues that hamper peace and love in the house.
1. A Happy Family is Composed of 'Givers'
Each member is 'giving' in his own small way, trying to help the other, appreciating any small deed done well and giving the gift of faith, love and freedom. In the families which unveil inner confusion and criticism at the surface, one common trait that I have noticed is that every member is a 'taker'. Each one wants the other to handle and fix unforeseen issues like sudden arrival of a guest and sickness of a child or old member in the family.
The startling fact about such families is that you just saw them pack up together going out for a vacation! They are takers and they love to go out together for enjoyment on a holiday. But, as soon as they come back home, each one is tied back to their own important concerns and the surplus is left to be looked out by any one of them. Well, who? No one is ready to relent or give and hence quarrels take over their living space.
2. A Happy Family Fixes Situations not People!
In some families, if the child does not fare well in exams, the mother is yelled upon by the husband. That is not the end! Her entire self esteem is robbed off from her and she is reminded of her low IQ level, educational deficit along with comparisons with other women who are socially more active and smart! This is exploitation and domestic violence, albeit verbal! The child is late for school, well, blame and curse the mother. Mother-in-law is unwell --- blame the woman of the house for not taking enough care. Can such a family where the mother is not respected be happy. How can an unhappy woman give happiness? Remember, you can only give what you yourself possess! The woman is the fulcrum of the house. To live in a peaceful home, she must be happy and respected.
3. A Happy Family Celebrates the Success of Every Member
When my little one wrote a lovely poem, we went out for dinner together to make her feel important and encourage her to write more of such lovely poems. Well, she has already written around 30 poems and we will get them published once she reaches her goal of 50 poems.
In some households, any intellectual discussion will never include other members who are not professionals! There is an unforeseen division prevalent in the family which reflects that other members are not good enough while those who are doctors or engineers belong to a higher realm and so out of reach and above family discussions. This is wrong.
A happy family stays together, laughs together and enjoys together. They love each other's company and appreciate one another for any added accolade. Every step taken further is seen as a feather in the cap for the entire family which is true!
4. A Happy Family Stays Together in Times of Sickness and Sorrow
My friend's husband was diagnosed with cancer a few days back. When we went to meet them, I heard her rebuking her husband for having 'gutka' and 'paan' (areca nut and beetel nut) during his college days. 'Suffer for your own folly'', she said to our dismay. Well, it was no surprise that she applied and got selected for an yearly course abroad. She keeps sending her friends pictures of her mall visits and festival celebrations. Her husband is left alone to take care of himself and his three sons with some help from servants and short visits of their relatives.
It is not about stopping anyone from furthering his skills and education but the timing was not right. A beautiful family cares for the sick member, nurses him, feeds him, talks to him to dispel his anxieties...
5. A Happy Family Has an Unseen Hierarchy, Though Every One Stays in Freedom
Though every member enjoys respect, every happy family knows who has the ultimate say in the house. The younger person is loaded with love and the eldest acts judge in times of need. Every member decides for himself but the important decisions have to go through the safety net and experience accumulated by the senior member of the family. Where such hierarchy is absent, there is chaos and so no peace and happiness.
Last, but not the least, families today should become spiritual more than being religious. Spirituality reminds you of some basic tenets of living well such as love, discipline, caring, sharing, forgiveness, gratitude and appreciation. Make your family a happy family by giving each other respect, appreciation and love they so rightly deserve. If you love somebody, show it!
January 24, 2016
Admire and Appreciate for a Happy Life!
Just stand at one place for 5 minutes and watch people around you --- in office, in the bazaar or in the park. Every corner comprises of someone who is struggling to communicate his 'point of view' to the other person or group of people. How much do we speak every day and how much of it is really needed?
How many times did you have to chew your own words? Well, I have had the experience as a college student! As a member of Miranda House college Table Tennis team, we were waiting for our new coach. It was already 3.00 O' clock in the noon when she was supposed to arrive. We were all playing Table Tennis amongst ourselves --- some players belonging to our team while others who were just coming in to play for recreation. Since I had to leave for home by our University Special, I was in a hurry but still playing and practicing, waiting anxiously for the arrival of our new coach. Slowly and surely, I started sharing my views with girls around me and covered topics like why the coach should have come on time, why we are forced to play a game when I am actually looking forward to attend my music classes, why our games professor does not accompany us when we go out to represent our college....
All this while, my partner was suggesting something to me and making funny gestures which I was too engrossed to be bothered at all. And then my partner, with whom I had being playing all this while, came up to my side, lifted her hand for a shake hand and said, ''You play well. Hi, I am your new coach!'' Imagine my predicament. Within seconds, I was planted into the ground where I stood, not knowing what to say. I was also more concerned about what all 'points of view' and 'great thoughts' I had divulged to my coach!
I was lucky as my coach did not take offence. She looked so young and was a short woman. Anyone could have mistaken her for a 'fresher'. Thank God, I did not play smart enough and rag her!!
There are so many incidents which I can recall now and feel the uselessness of talking too much or even criticizing. Everyone is leading his own life and etching his own story. We do not know what the other person is going through but jump into conclusion so fast. The best thing you can learn today is to only see the good in others. Seems simple. Just try it today and see yourself fumble not once but many, many times. This is because we are conditioned to look for the negative, to criticize and to catch people doing the wrong things. Make a little shift and start appreciating people for the little good that they do.
My uncle sits too quietly in the drawing room. He just doesn't speak at all. He keeps listening to what others are saying, not giving any expressions. We found this too distinct not to make fun of him! When one of our siblings related an incident, one of us copied him by not giving any expressions and then laughing out loud.
As we have grown in age, we realize now how smart he has actually been! He had realized well in advance not to waste precious energy gossiping and exclaiming his 'point of view'. While all others of his age have some or the other ailment to speak about, he is 89 years of age, hale and hearty and has visited so many countries in the world. That's outsmarting everyone! What do you say?
When we visited our neighbour's house to give them gifts for the new arrivals --- beautiful twins in their house, my daughter brought forward quite a pertinent question. She whispered to me, ''Mom, how will this little soul learn language, when will he begin to speak and then how and when will he start using it for criticism and unpleasant discussions?'' Hey, though my daughters laughed at this, I sensed quite a profound meaning into these words. Don't we do that all the time as adults?
We must use our power of speech to elevate lives around us, appreciate what we like and empower those who are in need of love and kindness. Every word we speak becomes a reality.
Decide as to what kind of life you want to lead and use your words accordingly. Use positive words, loving words, empowering words and words that do not hurt anyone --- not even those persons who are not present at that time.
''Negative thoughts come to every person. Don't verbalize them. Be positive or be quiet.''
I went with my daughter to the dental hub to get her braces checked. There were no patients there as the clinic had just reopened after lunch time. Only one lady was sitting on the patient's bench engaged with her mobile phone. We talked to the receptionist, told the attendant about what we had come for and sat down waiting for the doctor. All this while, we either watched the television and I told my daughter to convey to the doctor properly what was causing her discomfort due to her braces.
The attendant called my daughter's name and she made herself comfortable on the dentist's chair. Finishing her work, the lady got up from the patient's bench and headed for the cabin! She was the dentist. I heaved a sigh of relief and thanked the Almighty that I did not come up with any of my 'point of views' about doctors there or the clinic!
Life has taught me something really profound yet simple. If you want abundance in life, start appreciating. This brings good things to you --- material possessions, dreams come true or even success in life. For instance, if you dream of owning a big car, learn to appreciate those who are driving such cars!
When you appreciate, you send love to people and things and these in turn make you 'feel' good. Nice feelings bring happiness and when you are happy always, all good things come to you on their own!
Can you imagine that when you listen to others who are complaining, you are actually bringing in more of such situations into your life too! Keep away from negative conversations and be careful of words you use every day while speaking with others and also while thinking! What you think is brought forward as reality in your life!
''Words are free. It's how you use them that may cost you.''
Yes, words are powerful. Use them to lift your own spirits and that of others. Think before you speak for your words can either hurt or heal! Choose your words wisely .
You May Also Like to Read:
Alliance or Aloofness!
Like this Page for Listening to Songs of Sanchita
How many times did you have to chew your own words? Well, I have had the experience as a college student! As a member of Miranda House college Table Tennis team, we were waiting for our new coach. It was already 3.00 O' clock in the noon when she was supposed to arrive. We were all playing Table Tennis amongst ourselves --- some players belonging to our team while others who were just coming in to play for recreation. Since I had to leave for home by our University Special, I was in a hurry but still playing and practicing, waiting anxiously for the arrival of our new coach. Slowly and surely, I started sharing my views with girls around me and covered topics like why the coach should have come on time, why we are forced to play a game when I am actually looking forward to attend my music classes, why our games professor does not accompany us when we go out to represent our college....
All this while, my partner was suggesting something to me and making funny gestures which I was too engrossed to be bothered at all. And then my partner, with whom I had being playing all this while, came up to my side, lifted her hand for a shake hand and said, ''You play well. Hi, I am your new coach!'' Imagine my predicament. Within seconds, I was planted into the ground where I stood, not knowing what to say. I was also more concerned about what all 'points of view' and 'great thoughts' I had divulged to my coach!
I was lucky as my coach did not take offence. She looked so young and was a short woman. Anyone could have mistaken her for a 'fresher'. Thank God, I did not play smart enough and rag her!!
There are so many incidents which I can recall now and feel the uselessness of talking too much or even criticizing. Everyone is leading his own life and etching his own story. We do not know what the other person is going through but jump into conclusion so fast. The best thing you can learn today is to only see the good in others. Seems simple. Just try it today and see yourself fumble not once but many, many times. This is because we are conditioned to look for the negative, to criticize and to catch people doing the wrong things. Make a little shift and start appreciating people for the little good that they do.
My uncle sits too quietly in the drawing room. He just doesn't speak at all. He keeps listening to what others are saying, not giving any expressions. We found this too distinct not to make fun of him! When one of our siblings related an incident, one of us copied him by not giving any expressions and then laughing out loud.
As we have grown in age, we realize now how smart he has actually been! He had realized well in advance not to waste precious energy gossiping and exclaiming his 'point of view'. While all others of his age have some or the other ailment to speak about, he is 89 years of age, hale and hearty and has visited so many countries in the world. That's outsmarting everyone! What do you say?
When we visited our neighbour's house to give them gifts for the new arrivals --- beautiful twins in their house, my daughter brought forward quite a pertinent question. She whispered to me, ''Mom, how will this little soul learn language, when will he begin to speak and then how and when will he start using it for criticism and unpleasant discussions?'' Hey, though my daughters laughed at this, I sensed quite a profound meaning into these words. Don't we do that all the time as adults?
We must use our power of speech to elevate lives around us, appreciate what we like and empower those who are in need of love and kindness. Every word we speak becomes a reality.
Decide as to what kind of life you want to lead and use your words accordingly. Use positive words, loving words, empowering words and words that do not hurt anyone --- not even those persons who are not present at that time.
''Negative thoughts come to every person. Don't verbalize them. Be positive or be quiet.''
I went with my daughter to the dental hub to get her braces checked. There were no patients there as the clinic had just reopened after lunch time. Only one lady was sitting on the patient's bench engaged with her mobile phone. We talked to the receptionist, told the attendant about what we had come for and sat down waiting for the doctor. All this while, we either watched the television and I told my daughter to convey to the doctor properly what was causing her discomfort due to her braces.
The attendant called my daughter's name and she made herself comfortable on the dentist's chair. Finishing her work, the lady got up from the patient's bench and headed for the cabin! She was the dentist. I heaved a sigh of relief and thanked the Almighty that I did not come up with any of my 'point of views' about doctors there or the clinic!
Life has taught me something really profound yet simple. If you want abundance in life, start appreciating. This brings good things to you --- material possessions, dreams come true or even success in life. For instance, if you dream of owning a big car, learn to appreciate those who are driving such cars!
When you appreciate, you send love to people and things and these in turn make you 'feel' good. Nice feelings bring happiness and when you are happy always, all good things come to you on their own!
Can you imagine that when you listen to others who are complaining, you are actually bringing in more of such situations into your life too! Keep away from negative conversations and be careful of words you use every day while speaking with others and also while thinking! What you think is brought forward as reality in your life!
''Words are free. It's how you use them that may cost you.''
Yes, words are powerful. Use them to lift your own spirits and that of others. Think before you speak for your words can either hurt or heal! Choose your words wisely .
You May Also Like to Read:
Alliance or Aloofness!
Like this Page for Listening to Songs of Sanchita
Another Synonym for Speaking is Appreciating!
Just stand at one place for 5 minutes and watch people around you --- in office, in the bazaar or in the park. Every corner comprises of someone who is struggling to communicate his 'point of view' to the other person or group of people. How much do we speak every day and how much of it is really needed? How many times did you have to chew your own words?
Well, I have had the experience as a college student! As a member of Miranda House college Table Tennis team, we were waiting for our new coach. It was already 3 O' clock in the noon when she was supposed to arrive. We were all playing Table Tennis amongst ourselves --- some players belonging to our team while others who were just coming in to play for recreation. Since I had to leave for home by our University Special, I was in a hurry but still playing and practicing, waiting anxiously for the arrival of our new coach.
Slowly and surely, I started sharing my views with girls around me and covered topics like why the coach should have come on time, why we are forced to play a game when I am actually looking forward to attend my music classes, why our games professor does not accompany us when we go out to represent our college... All this while, my friend was suggesting something to me and making funny gestures which I was too engrossed to be bothered at all. And then my partner, with whom I had being playing all this while, came up to my side, lifted her hand for a shake hand and said, ''You play well. Hi, I am your new coach!'' Imagine my predicament. Within seconds, I was planted into the ground where I stood, not knowing what to say. I was also more concerned about what all 'points of view' and 'great thoughts' I had divulged to my coach! I was lucky as my coach did not take offence. She looked so young and was a short woman. Anyone could have mistaken her for a 'fresher'. Thank God, I did not play smart enough and rag her!!
There are so many incidents which I can recall now and feel the uselessness of talking too much or even criticizing. Everyone is leading his own life and etching his own story. We do not know what the other person is going through but jump into conclusion so fast.
The best thing you can learn today is to only see the good in others. Seems simple. Just try it today and see yourself fumble not once but many, many times. This is because we are conditioned to look for the negative, to criticize and to catch people doing the wrong things.
Make a little shift and start appreciating people for the little good that they do. My uncle sits too quietly in the drawing room. He just doesn't speak at all. He keeps listening to what others are saying, not giving any expressions. We found this too distinct not to make fun of him! We copied him and when one of our siblings related an incident, one of us copied him by not giving any expressions and then laughing out loud. As we have grown in age, we realize now how smart he has actually been! He had realized well in advance not to waste precious energy gossiping and exclaiming his 'point of view'. While all others of his age have some or the other ailment to speak about, he is 89 years of age, hale and hearty and has visited so many countries in the world. That's outsmarting everyone! What do you say?
When we visited our neighbour's house to give them gifts for the new arrivals --- beautiful twins in their house, my daughter brought forward quite a pertinent question. She whispered to me, ''Mom, how will this little soul learn language, when will he begin to speak and then how and when will he start using it for criticism and unpleasant discussions?'' Hey, though my daughters laughed at this, I sensed quite a profound meaning into these words. Don't we do that all the time as adults?
We must use our power of speech to elevate lives around us, appreciate what we like and empower those who are in need of love and kindness. Every word we speak becomes a reality. Decide as to what kind of life you want to lead and use your words accordingly. Use positive words, loving words, empowering words and words that do not hurt anyone --- not even those persons who are not present at that time.
''Negative thoughts come to every person. Don't verbalize them. Be positive or be quiet.''
I went with my daughter to the dental hub to get her braces checked. There were no patients there as the clinic had just reopened after lunch time. Only one lady was sitting on the patient's bench engaged with her mobile phone. We talked to the receptionist, told the attendant about what we had come for and sat down waiting for the doctor. All this while, we either watched the television and I told my daughter to convey to the doctor properly what was causing her discomfort due to her braces. The attendant called my daughter's name and she made herself comfortable on the dentist's chair. Finishing her work, the lady got up from the patient's bench and headed for the cabin! She was the dentist. I heaved a sigh of relief and thanked the Almighty that I did not come up with any of my 'point of views' about doctors there or the clinic!
Life has taught me something really profound yet simple. If you want abundance in life, start appreciating. This brings good things to you --- material possessions, dreams come true or even success in life. For instance, if you dream of owning a big car, learn to appreciate those who are driving such cars!
When you appreciate, you send love to people and things and these in turn make you 'feel' good. Nice feelings bring happiness and when you are happy always, all good things come to you on their own! Can you imagine that when you listen to others who are complaining, you are actually bringing in more of such situations into your life too! Keep away from negative conversations and be careful of words you use every day while speaking with others and also while thinking! What you think is brought forward as reality in your life!
''Words are free. It's how you use them that may cost you.'' Yes, words are powerful. Use them to lift your own spirits and that of others. Think before you speak for your words can either hurt or heal! Choose your words wisely.
Well, I have had the experience as a college student! As a member of Miranda House college Table Tennis team, we were waiting for our new coach. It was already 3 O' clock in the noon when she was supposed to arrive. We were all playing Table Tennis amongst ourselves --- some players belonging to our team while others who were just coming in to play for recreation. Since I had to leave for home by our University Special, I was in a hurry but still playing and practicing, waiting anxiously for the arrival of our new coach.
Slowly and surely, I started sharing my views with girls around me and covered topics like why the coach should have come on time, why we are forced to play a game when I am actually looking forward to attend my music classes, why our games professor does not accompany us when we go out to represent our college... All this while, my friend was suggesting something to me and making funny gestures which I was too engrossed to be bothered at all. And then my partner, with whom I had being playing all this while, came up to my side, lifted her hand for a shake hand and said, ''You play well. Hi, I am your new coach!'' Imagine my predicament. Within seconds, I was planted into the ground where I stood, not knowing what to say. I was also more concerned about what all 'points of view' and 'great thoughts' I had divulged to my coach! I was lucky as my coach did not take offence. She looked so young and was a short woman. Anyone could have mistaken her for a 'fresher'. Thank God, I did not play smart enough and rag her!!
There are so many incidents which I can recall now and feel the uselessness of talking too much or even criticizing. Everyone is leading his own life and etching his own story. We do not know what the other person is going through but jump into conclusion so fast.
The best thing you can learn today is to only see the good in others. Seems simple. Just try it today and see yourself fumble not once but many, many times. This is because we are conditioned to look for the negative, to criticize and to catch people doing the wrong things.
Make a little shift and start appreciating people for the little good that they do. My uncle sits too quietly in the drawing room. He just doesn't speak at all. He keeps listening to what others are saying, not giving any expressions. We found this too distinct not to make fun of him! We copied him and when one of our siblings related an incident, one of us copied him by not giving any expressions and then laughing out loud. As we have grown in age, we realize now how smart he has actually been! He had realized well in advance not to waste precious energy gossiping and exclaiming his 'point of view'. While all others of his age have some or the other ailment to speak about, he is 89 years of age, hale and hearty and has visited so many countries in the world. That's outsmarting everyone! What do you say?
When we visited our neighbour's house to give them gifts for the new arrivals --- beautiful twins in their house, my daughter brought forward quite a pertinent question. She whispered to me, ''Mom, how will this little soul learn language, when will he begin to speak and then how and when will he start using it for criticism and unpleasant discussions?'' Hey, though my daughters laughed at this, I sensed quite a profound meaning into these words. Don't we do that all the time as adults?
We must use our power of speech to elevate lives around us, appreciate what we like and empower those who are in need of love and kindness. Every word we speak becomes a reality. Decide as to what kind of life you want to lead and use your words accordingly. Use positive words, loving words, empowering words and words that do not hurt anyone --- not even those persons who are not present at that time.
''Negative thoughts come to every person. Don't verbalize them. Be positive or be quiet.''
I went with my daughter to the dental hub to get her braces checked. There were no patients there as the clinic had just reopened after lunch time. Only one lady was sitting on the patient's bench engaged with her mobile phone. We talked to the receptionist, told the attendant about what we had come for and sat down waiting for the doctor. All this while, we either watched the television and I told my daughter to convey to the doctor properly what was causing her discomfort due to her braces. The attendant called my daughter's name and she made herself comfortable on the dentist's chair. Finishing her work, the lady got up from the patient's bench and headed for the cabin! She was the dentist. I heaved a sigh of relief and thanked the Almighty that I did not come up with any of my 'point of views' about doctors there or the clinic!
Life has taught me something really profound yet simple. If you want abundance in life, start appreciating. This brings good things to you --- material possessions, dreams come true or even success in life. For instance, if you dream of owning a big car, learn to appreciate those who are driving such cars!
When you appreciate, you send love to people and things and these in turn make you 'feel' good. Nice feelings bring happiness and when you are happy always, all good things come to you on their own! Can you imagine that when you listen to others who are complaining, you are actually bringing in more of such situations into your life too! Keep away from negative conversations and be careful of words you use every day while speaking with others and also while thinking! What you think is brought forward as reality in your life!
''Words are free. It's how you use them that may cost you.'' Yes, words are powerful. Use them to lift your own spirits and that of others. Think before you speak for your words can either hurt or heal! Choose your words wisely.
