Maryanne Comaroto's Blog - Posts Tagged "valentine-s-day"
Single on Valentine's Day?
A reporter asked me to help him with his column the other day, and his first question was: “Valentine’s Day is coming up. But where can you meet someone if you’re single?”
I replied, “That's like asking me where to go eat when you're hungry. First you need to tell me what you like, what you are hungry for? I certainly wouldn't want to send you to a seafood restaurant if you can’t stand fish! As elementary as it sounds, we need to make this distinction and move away from the one-size-fits-all relationship mentality. If you just want to meet "someone" you can go to a restaurant or bar. I can name a half a dozen singles haunts off the top of my head.
“But if you’re talking about meeting the right someone for you, then you need to invest some more time and effort. Otherwise you'll have to kiss a lot of toads, or just cross your fingers and hope you get lucky. An alternative is, get real clear on what you want. Real clear. And then go where you think those kinds of people hang out. The funny thing is, that when we set that strong an intention you almost don't have to do anything! Life responds to strong desires that are maintained over time. Or you can do both, get out there in the flow of like-minded folks and let a little elbow grease & serendipity lend a hand! As you like it.”
Then he wanted tips for singles to cope with Valentine's Day. “Valentine’s Day can go down two ways, as a day to be coped with or to be celebrated, just like anything in life. You can take it half empty or half full. Seriously, why wait for chocolates and flowers? Send ‘em to yourself. Go have that massage, or stay home, light a fire, read poetry aloud, start a bubble bath. Here's the deal: life will treat you EXACTLY how you treat yourself. So dive in and use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to love yourself! I promise, if you do this with real sincerity, you won’t be alone for long.
Where are the hot spots to meet people for romance these days, he wondered?
“Again, it’s not about some special place: there's nothing out there if you really want to know the truth, only an exact reflection of what inside of you right now. For example, I met my husband in my dream, eight years before I ever met in him real life, name and all! So stop, take care to know who you are, what you want and then simply focus on that. Okay, you likely will have to leave your home, but not before you are prepared. Remember what are you hungry for? Unless you’re not picky; then see above restaurant list.
You don’t want more of what you've already had; disappointment and failure, right? If you think you're ready, just go, go out to places that make you happy and do things you love that are in alignment with your real self.
“To recap: look within, find out who you are and what you want, then go out there and do what you love!”
Any more questions? Email us at info@maryannlive.com and we’ll answer them on the air every Tuesday morning from 10-11 am on www.healthylife.net.
To find out if you're looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, watch Maryanne's video on the subject: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUYE9-...
I replied, “That's like asking me where to go eat when you're hungry. First you need to tell me what you like, what you are hungry for? I certainly wouldn't want to send you to a seafood restaurant if you can’t stand fish! As elementary as it sounds, we need to make this distinction and move away from the one-size-fits-all relationship mentality. If you just want to meet "someone" you can go to a restaurant or bar. I can name a half a dozen singles haunts off the top of my head.
“But if you’re talking about meeting the right someone for you, then you need to invest some more time and effort. Otherwise you'll have to kiss a lot of toads, or just cross your fingers and hope you get lucky. An alternative is, get real clear on what you want. Real clear. And then go where you think those kinds of people hang out. The funny thing is, that when we set that strong an intention you almost don't have to do anything! Life responds to strong desires that are maintained over time. Or you can do both, get out there in the flow of like-minded folks and let a little elbow grease & serendipity lend a hand! As you like it.”
Then he wanted tips for singles to cope with Valentine's Day. “Valentine’s Day can go down two ways, as a day to be coped with or to be celebrated, just like anything in life. You can take it half empty or half full. Seriously, why wait for chocolates and flowers? Send ‘em to yourself. Go have that massage, or stay home, light a fire, read poetry aloud, start a bubble bath. Here's the deal: life will treat you EXACTLY how you treat yourself. So dive in and use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to love yourself! I promise, if you do this with real sincerity, you won’t be alone for long.
Where are the hot spots to meet people for romance these days, he wondered?
“Again, it’s not about some special place: there's nothing out there if you really want to know the truth, only an exact reflection of what inside of you right now. For example, I met my husband in my dream, eight years before I ever met in him real life, name and all! So stop, take care to know who you are, what you want and then simply focus on that. Okay, you likely will have to leave your home, but not before you are prepared. Remember what are you hungry for? Unless you’re not picky; then see above restaurant list.
You don’t want more of what you've already had; disappointment and failure, right? If you think you're ready, just go, go out to places that make you happy and do things you love that are in alignment with your real self.
“To recap: look within, find out who you are and what you want, then go out there and do what you love!”
Any more questions? Email us at info@maryannlive.com and we’ll answer them on the air every Tuesday morning from 10-11 am on www.healthylife.net.
To find out if you're looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, watch Maryanne's video on the subject: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUYE9-...
Are monkeys more sexually evolved than we are?
Listener Question: Tell me, why does dropping one’s drawers have to be the line of demarcation? Is that really the point of no return? If so, then why do you consider it as such? My studies of aboriginal Polynesian societies have led me to delve into customs of touching in other nearly nude societies, including those of primates, with whom we share 98% of our DNA. These societies have no drawers to drop, yet raised peaceful, sexually wise kids.
Maryanne Answer: Good question: what about dropping one’s drawers creates such a hard line?
I believe it was Ted Bundy, one of the most notorious Mr. Wrongs of our time, who said, as long as we have pornography men will continue to victimize and harm women. This might explain why we do not live in a naked, leaf-eating, peaceful, sexually wise culture. IT’S NOT SAFE FOR WOMEN—yet. And while the Aboriginals may be sexually more evolved, they currently do not have access to all our forms of soul-sucking, spirit-killing, de-humanizing programming.
In the meantime, I realized if we put that 2% of genetic difference to work we might be able to counter the overwhelming amount of suffering men and women experience in relationship. I saw a corollary between pausing prior to drawer droppage to consider, at length, its consequences, and the aforementioned suffering. That if we just waited a little longer before we succumb to this impulse, we had a greater likelihood of creating healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationship.
Somehow, it doesn’t seem likely the FDA will attach a human sexuality instruction manual to our bodies that reads like a prescription warning label. “WARNING, may be HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH if taken internally. Do not drink ALCOHOL while handling, may cause heart palpitations, intense longing, dizziness, trouble concentrating, financial hemorrhaging, loss of memory, pregnancy and, in some cases, death. Consult your doctor if any of these symptoms persist.”
I wrote Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers, instead, hoping to inspire an alternate impulse—to pause (not paws). To globally build our collective conscious imperative to delay our gratification, for the sake of man (and woman) kind. To build our global muscle that has atrophied in the wake of our fast-food mentality, and resurrect the ultimate truth that there is freedom in discipline, that the mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. To use that 2% for everything it’s worth so that maybe someday, sooner rather than later, our priorities will change and we will value and hold in unison that which is naturally sacred before we all cross the point of no return.
But before we race off to transform ourselves, just because we can, let’s make an important distinction between humans and primates. While there may be only a 2% genetic difference between monkeys and men, it is our ability to consider whether or not we ever “drop our drawers” which makes all the difference in the world. That said, we all need role models from time to time; why not an ape or an aboriginal? So let’s not look a gift horse (or any other animal, tribe, or alien) in the mouth, and take good relationship modeling where we can get it! If there is something to be learned from our furry or our scantily clad friends, if they can help us better determine optimal drawer droppage in this time/space continuum, far be it for me to stand in the way of such monkey business!
<3 maryanne
https://www.maryannelive.com
Maryanne Answer: Good question: what about dropping one’s drawers creates such a hard line?
I believe it was Ted Bundy, one of the most notorious Mr. Wrongs of our time, who said, as long as we have pornography men will continue to victimize and harm women. This might explain why we do not live in a naked, leaf-eating, peaceful, sexually wise culture. IT’S NOT SAFE FOR WOMEN—yet. And while the Aboriginals may be sexually more evolved, they currently do not have access to all our forms of soul-sucking, spirit-killing, de-humanizing programming.
In the meantime, I realized if we put that 2% of genetic difference to work we might be able to counter the overwhelming amount of suffering men and women experience in relationship. I saw a corollary between pausing prior to drawer droppage to consider, at length, its consequences, and the aforementioned suffering. That if we just waited a little longer before we succumb to this impulse, we had a greater likelihood of creating healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationship.
Somehow, it doesn’t seem likely the FDA will attach a human sexuality instruction manual to our bodies that reads like a prescription warning label. “WARNING, may be HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH if taken internally. Do not drink ALCOHOL while handling, may cause heart palpitations, intense longing, dizziness, trouble concentrating, financial hemorrhaging, loss of memory, pregnancy and, in some cases, death. Consult your doctor if any of these symptoms persist.”
I wrote Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers, instead, hoping to inspire an alternate impulse—to pause (not paws). To globally build our collective conscious imperative to delay our gratification, for the sake of man (and woman) kind. To build our global muscle that has atrophied in the wake of our fast-food mentality, and resurrect the ultimate truth that there is freedom in discipline, that the mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. To use that 2% for everything it’s worth so that maybe someday, sooner rather than later, our priorities will change and we will value and hold in unison that which is naturally sacred before we all cross the point of no return.
But before we race off to transform ourselves, just because we can, let’s make an important distinction between humans and primates. While there may be only a 2% genetic difference between monkeys and men, it is our ability to consider whether or not we ever “drop our drawers” which makes all the difference in the world. That said, we all need role models from time to time; why not an ape or an aboriginal? So let’s not look a gift horse (or any other animal, tribe, or alien) in the mouth, and take good relationship modeling where we can get it! If there is something to be learned from our furry or our scantily clad friends, if they can help us better determine optimal drawer droppage in this time/space continuum, far be it for me to stand in the way of such monkey business!
<3 maryanne
https://www.maryannelive.com
