Lori Alexander's Blog

When I began mentoring women in biblical womanhood when I was 45 years old (27 years ago), I would have a group of about 15 women in one of the women’s homes. I would read a few sentences of “Created to Be His Help Meet” to the women, and then we would discuss it. I would ask questions for them to ponder and answer their questions. It was a mentoring/discussion group. It was great!

After this, I began mentoring women one-on-one. I would also have small groups of women over for lunch, show them how to make bread, and answer any questions they had on raising children and marriage. When my health became too poor to keep doing this, I began writing on my first blog. I would respond to the comments on the blog; continuing to mentor and teach women as much as possible. I was happy to do this even if only a few dozen women read what I wrote. I never imagined that one day many women would learn from me.

Now, I write on Instagram, X, and Facebook. I still write some posts on this blog. I try to respond to as many comments as I can on my social media accounts. It begins to hurt my eyes if I am on my iPhone too much (a result of radiation on my brain which caused dry eyes). I also respond to the many emails I receive when I have a chance. I am still in a teaching, mentoring, and discussion type of relationship with women.

I don’t speak or preach on stage in a church or other venue. I am in my home. I am a keeper at home as God commands. I am not a preacher or speaker. Plus, I only teach what God has commanded me to teach in Titus 2:3-5 (everything concerning biblical womanhood and Scripture which supports it). I don’t teach other doctrines. Women should be learning those from their biblically qualified pastors and elders (men) at their churches.

Many women who are public speakers/preachers claim that in Titus 2:3 where God commands the “aged women” to be “teachers of good things,” that this means they are free to teach everything in the Bible except for biblical womanhood. I disagree. Women are in desperate need to be taught the ways of the Lord for them. The “good things” that older women are to teach younger women are clearly listed: sober, love their husbands and children, be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, and obedient to their own husbands.

Did you know that it was the Suffragettes who brought female public speaking into the political mainstream through their highly visible demonstrations and speeches advocating for voting rights? Women giving speeches publicly is not found anywhere in Scripture. Feminism is what ushered it in. One cannot be a public speaker and a keeper at home. I doubt any public female preacher or speaker teaches women to be keepers at home since they are not. It would make them hypocrites. We must live in obedience to the Lord; for He is good and His ways are perfect for us.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5

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My sons attended BIOLA. They enjoyed it. This was 15 years ago. They weren’t woke back then but my oldest son said he could see it coming. Well, it’s come. It used to be a conservative college that taught biblical truth, but it is no longer. I personally know parents who sent their children there in the past ten years, and these children are now living in openly sodomite relationships.

Here is what Alisa Childers wrote on her Facebook page about BIOLA:

In a recent podcast, I stated that I can’t recommend parents send their students to Biola. Many people wrote in and asked me to explain why. Here’s a start.

First, Biola’s statement on sexuality states:

“Students desiring to live in Biola-owned housing will be placed based on their sex at birth. However, as issues connected to sexuality and gender are complex and layered, we will walk with students on an individual basis who identify as transgender or experience dissonance with their biological sex and gender in order to provide helpful support, to arrive at decisions around facilities use, and to offer appropriate accountability….We also ask that transgender individuals refrain from the process of a medical transition during their time at Biola.”

From Chimes, Biola’s online student-run newspaper:

“The Dwelling is a Biola-sanctioned place where students who are LGBTQ or who experience same-sex attraction come together for community and support as they walk with Jesus at Biola…What we aren’t is 1.) a place that sponsors conversion therapy or whose primary goal is to move people out of the LGBTQ community, or 2.) a place that is subversive of Biola’s positions on sexuality and gender…Members of The Dwelling usually hold diverse theological perspectives on sexuality. Some members hold an affirming position, while others hold a non-affirming view.”

In a couple of days, they will be having Rich Villodas speak at an evening for spiritual formation. Villodas has praised Richard Rohr as “a person/writer I really respect,” and made problematic statements about Charlie Kirk:

He acknowledges that Charlie spoke “passionately about Jesus Christ,” but then Villodas goes on to write, “I’ve also seen videos of him using words that have caused great harm to black and brown people, to Muslims, and to LGBTQ people.”

Biola still has some good and faithful people there, but I cannot recommend it as a safe place to send your kids.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
1 Corinthians 6:14-18

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There is a lot of mischaracterization about Patriarchy and what it means. A man wrote this on Facebook recently in response to something Doug Wilson said:

“I have had people who self-identify as Partriarchalists (and who admire Doug Wilson and see him as a kind of leader for their cause) tell me that ‘Patriarchy’ means women can never: Work outside the home (whether married or unmarried), have an income producing business inside the home, vote in elections, run for political office, go to college, get a seminary degree, lead a women’s Bible study, teach a children’s Sunday school class, write books, have a podcast or blog, sing in a worship team at church. Some promote Classical Christian schools for boys but say girls don’t need formal schooling (just need to learn domestic skills). Some say a woman is never to refuse her husband sex for any reason (even health related or during a period), and l’ve had several claim that rape is not possible within marriage because ‘a man cannot transgress in his own garden.’ The thing is, every one of these positions is extra-Biblical.”

I don’t agree with this man’s critique of Doug Wilson. Patriarchy, in its general description, means men are to lead and be the ones in authority in the homes, churches, and nations. I agree with Patriarchy since this is how it is in God’s Word. God placed men as leaders in the homes, churches, and nations. Everything I believe and teach, I try hard to stay true to the Bible and not allow feminism, which has permeated everything, to influence my thinking. We need a lot of wisdom and discernment in this day and age.

I don’t believe women should work outside the home since God commands them to be keepers at home (Titus 2:5). They can made some money from home if there is a need, and it doesn’t take them away from their duties as a wife, mother, and homemaker. There’s many ways for unmarried women to make money without going to college and being in the workforce. Check out the Proverbs 31 woman!

Women shouldn’t vote in elections since women overwhelmingly vote Democrat and for abortion. I am not sure how this man can’t see what a mistake this has been for our nation. Women shouldn’t run for political office either since they are to be keepers at home. Women in politics are the complete opposite of having meek and quiet spirits.

I am not a fan of college since it’s steeped in feminism and Marxism. (Read Charlie Kirk’s book about college being a scam.) None of them teach women how to be godly wives, mothers, and homemakers. College’s purpose is to train students for careers while causing them to go into deep debt.

Women definitely shouldn’t go to seminary since the purpose of seminary is to train men to be pastors and preach. Women can learn from their biblically qualified pastors at their church.

The only Women’s Bible Study women are biblically qualified to teach is biblical womanhood which is clearly spelled out in Titus 2:3-5. Women teaching children’s Sunday School classes should be carefully overseen by the male elders of the churches, since they are the ones held responsible for what is being taught.

I am not sure who teaches that women can’t write books, have a podcast or blog, nor sing in a worship teach at church. I have never heard anyone who stands against these things unless these things take them away from home where they are speaking in conferences, or it takes a lot of time away from their home and family duties. Who teaches that girls don’t need formal schooling, just learn domestic skills? I think this man must have made this one up.

Most husbands won’t demand sex when their wife is sick, and there are ways to please a husband without intercourse during a period. Rape occurs in a marriage where the husband is cruel and is physically abusing her. In this case, a wife needs to find a way of escape ASAP.

No, not all of these positions are extra-biblical as this man claims. Some are very biblical. This man has just become feminized in some of these areas like most people are these days. Most of the things he mentioned are what feminists fought hard for. Feminism is total rebellion against God and His ways for women. Don’t be deceived, women.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5

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This post was written by a woman with many children. Her blog is no longer active but I thought many of you would enjoy her words on keeping a clean and tidy home since many struggle in this area. She doesn’t have much money but she has learned to use it wisely and is efficient in keeping her home beautiful; for a clean home is a beautiful home, and it matters not at all how much money you make!

When I had a household full of little children and had almost nothing in my hand, I learned that order came first. Having things clean, even if they are old and worn, is so important to one’s sense of well-being.

I remember how over-joyed we were to live in our first “house” (we had been renting apartments before this). It was so spacious with our own yard. It was just cheap enough for us to afford the rent every month, and this meant that inside it was not “new” looking. Whoever had rented before did not have a handle on cleaning. The stove was 20 or so years old and had grease and grime caked in every nook and cranny. The cupboard fronts were a definite “soil brown” around the handles.

But I had learned from all of the run-down places we had lived before just how a little cleaning and order could transform even the worst of hovels; much how Christ takes and transforms the worst of sinners!

Not having the extra money for expensive cleaners, I used what I had. I did have some baking soda and some dish soap, along with a rag and an old toothbrush. So I mixed the baking soda and the dish soap together into a paste and tackled all of that greasy grime. The toothbrush helped me to get into even the small cracks.

Before long, that whole kitchen was above respectable with a large bay window looking out to the backyard. I dare say it was pretty, at least to me. It was not the latest and greatest. It was old and out-of-date, but it was blessed. My dear children and I spent so many hours in that room with meals and homeschooling. It became a very special place to all of us indeed.

I remember watching a documentary about a mother living in a hut in Haiti whose husband had either died or abandoned the family. Even without a pan to cook her food in, the camera showed her carrying her baby about on her hip as she swept her dirt floor with a home-made broom. Everything she owned was neat as a pin. I would have felt very comfortable visiting with her there. Being poor, or at least feeling poor, is not an excuse. We must overcome the evil of this world with good, especially when dealing with the filth that has been unleashed because of the fall of man.

Bathrooms are also extremely important. If the toilet looks dirty and smells, it makes the whole house seem out of order. Where there is hard water, it sometimes takes some Lime-Away to cut through the deposits at first, but afterwards just a little maintaining can do the trick. The whole porcelain unit needs to be scrubbed and disinfected including the surrounds at the bottom. I try and use bleach on these areas on a regular basis to keep odious bacteria to a minimum.

I developed the habit early-on of maintaining the bathroom every time I used it. I often only had a few minutes between my other responsibilities to my family, so I used what was in the room instead of hunting all around for cleaning supplies. I became so good that I could clean a whole mirror spotlessly with just a little water on some toilet paper. I used some toothpaste on toilet paper to scrub the ring around the tub, and even gave the toilet and surround a quick wipe (sometimes I used a little mouthwash for its disinfecting properties).

I have also learned over the years to get rid of the “eye-sores;” those things that make your eyes ache every time you see them. Among this list are piles of worn shoes, stacks of mail and other business, drawers with clothing sticking out of them, toys that are out-of-control, rows and rows of partly-used bottles of shampoo and other solutions, and beds that are never made.

For one thing, we don’t use dressers for the most part. We hang up everything except for small items and underwear. This has done wonders for our clothing. It keeps them from being shoved behind and under so that we never see them. It keeps them nearly wrinkle free and always presentable. It provides us much more space in the bedrooms. It keeps things looking neat and tidy. Today, you can find many closet organizers. Some are available at quite reasonable prices. The main thing is to be creative.

My grandmother had the most fascinating house, especially for a child. I used to spend hours and hours just looking through her things. (She used to call this “prowling.”) She had lived through the Great Depression and so was prone to collect and keep things around, especially crafting supplies and antiques. Even though it was great fun to me, it was a horror to look at day after day. It was also a major operation to prepare for guests, and the weight of it all caused a lot of frustration and anxiety.

When we refuse to throw things out (or give them away to someone who could use them), we are actually wasting more time, energy, and money than we are saving. Unless the things we save are actually useful to us (or are a family heirloom) or if we hold on to them indefinitely, they are more prone to ruin (dust, moths, water damage, etc.), and we may not even be able to find them at the time we need them most so we will have to go out and buy new anyway! There are exceptions to this: seasonal clothing, seasonal decorations, children’s clothing and the like. I use the “six-month rule” for pretty much everything else; if I have not required an item in the last six months, I probably don’t need it.

A lot of our effort in saving things actually is rooted in a lack of trust that God will take care of us, even if the future should turn bleak. Along with being frugal, we must learn to always trust in His provision. Giving to others, however, ensures that we have treasure stored up in Heaven, where nothing can touch it. Also, if we plant seeds and help meet the needs of others, God tells us we will reap a harvest that will bless us in our times of need.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust does corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust does corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (Matthew 6:19-21)

Keeping inventory of what one has and using it up, buying only what one needs, and keeping from impulse buying of products we don’t honestly need will keep us from warehousing a lot of half-empty containers all over the house. If the shampoo is mostly gone, adding a little water to it and shaking it will ensure that it is completely used, then the bottle is tossed!

And sentimentality needs to be kept in check. We can’t keep every little scribble our small children make. By now I could have filled a couple of garages with all of the incredible things my children have created! Except for a few fine examples for our memoirs, we need to remember that the greatest things, the things we can all cherish for the rest of our lives, are the acts of kindness and love we give to one another, and let God keep these for us. Often, at the end of life, these are the things that matter most, not even jewelry or family heirlooms survive such things as flood, fire, or war. Keeping this perspective will free us from a lot of the weight that sentimental clutter piles on us.

Along with order and cleanliness, there must be beauty and comfort. No matter what my means, I must attempt to create an environment where people can feast their eyes and rest their bones. The venerable attitude of the Proverbs 31 woman applies here. She is described as being at the business of beauty and comfort for her household. She was “gathering goods from afar.” There is a reason that women like to shop. It’s a large part of our gifts and talents as females. Of course, this is often perverted by our own sinful tendencies and can become a monster that can ruin us. But, in the right place and time, our skills at spying out deals can greatly benefit our families and friends.

With God’s blessing, even $5 worth of goods bought at garage sales can give us all sorts of amazingly creative possibilities. Old curtain valances can cover worn table-tops. Sheets can become curtains. Washing old pillows and sewing covers for them from cast-off clothes is another way to spruce things up (even if we don’t have a sewing machine, hand-sewing is not only cheap but therapeutic, especially while sitting watching a movie with the family). I received as a Christmas gift this year a fantastic reading/sewing LED lamp that I can hang around my neck for just such a time as this!

I love buying stoneware, a piece here and there, and putting them all together. Lots of times sticking to a certain color-scheme, such as blue or gold. Everyone seems to have a set that has pieces broken, so I can usually buy them up for a song.

Even if you don’t feel naturally “creative” God is, and He will help and guide you. I once had a friend who had grown up in the streets of LA, definitely not from a nurturing, Christian environment. But she became a devoted Christian with a family. I was very blessed when I entered her home; so lovely in every way, with wall-paper accents, her furniture all in order and well-maintained, cute aprons hanging merrily on the side of her kitchen. (This was a rented house. Her husband was in the Army). When I complimented her, she was quick to tell me that she had no idea how to keep home, but she had relied on the Holy Spirit to guide her. My favorite homes I have visited were first neat and clean, then filled with the personalities of those who lived there.

A pastor and his wife once had us over to eat. This couple and their five children had returned from the mission field not too many years before, owning only the clothes on their backs. The wife had scoured yard sales and purchased wicker furniture, repainted it, and recovered the cushions to match. The coffee and end tables had a rectangular piece of hunter green contact paper placed in the centers to cover the scratches and then were embellished with flowers, etc. We ate at a long table covered with a pretty flat sheet that had been saved for special occasions. All of the rooms were neat and clean. More than this, the children obviously loved the parents and vice-versa which made for a delightfully peaceful environment.

Last year, when we thought we were to move closer to my husband’s work, we visited many houses. The most charming was a home that was full of creativity. There may have been even a few mid-century-modern pieces there, but it was obvious that the mother who lived there was not driven by self-importance. She had filled each room with the beauty that was from her heart. It was an older house, but so much care had been taken that it was more impressive than even new construction. Everything said to us, “Come and sit a spell!”

On the contrary, we also visited a vacant home that was full of pretension. The entrance boasted a vaulted ceiling and real wood flooring making it seem cold, with every sound reverberating throughout the building and that’s what it was: a building and not a home. But that was not all. The master bedroom measured approximately 20 feet by 30 feet, and at one end was the most ostentatious bathroom I have ever seen. It was divided from the rest of the room by a three-quarter height wall of late 1940’s glass blocks, and behind these was a tub the size of a small swimming pool, and a shower that was bigger than some kitchens I’ve cooked in, with spraying nozzles mounted in every direction! It made us wonder if the house had been built for a family of penguins! It had a definite “style,” one that had since been abandoned for the next series of new ideas, so that it just seemed plainly repulsive to us.

Bringing the outdoors inside is a wonderful way to reflect on God’s beauty. Using real or silk plants and flowers is a good way to begin. This Thanksgiving our son, Ryan, walked to the nature preserve by our house and put together a huge show of fall grasses, etc. arranged neatly in an old flower vase and placed it in the dining room. At the close of this last summer, he also gathered Russian sage and made one wreath for the dining room, then made another with sage combined with peppermint and lemon balm from our own garden for my office. The girls also have lemon balm and peppermint hanging in small bouquets on their walls, and a bird’s nest filled with “eggs” (small, smooth stones) that was found abandoned in our yard on their desk.

Having children around, especially small children, does limit some of the types of furnishings, colors, etc. that can be utilized. For one thing, we do not have white carpeting or white couches! Our coffee and end-tables corners are all rounded, no sharp edges for small ones to fall against!

We have purposely chosen fabrics and coverings for our furniture that are well-suited to a lot of traffic. Leather is always well-wearing if we are careful not to allow sharp objects around it. Dark, repeated patterns seem to keep wear and dirt from showing up, making things look newer much longer. Putting covers on arm rests will help them to last longer. An industrial-type carpet with area rugs is a way to have longer-lasting carpeting.

So many of the items I see every day were not bought at all; many were found, given to us, or were created from what we have had on hand. And, of course, we have also needed to buy the best of what is available within our budget; often not our hearts’ desire, but we have learned to be content and thankful, which makes everything we own (stewards over) covered with the beauty of godliness!

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

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Written By Matthew Kennedy on X

We only had four rules for our six children. They kept us sane, our household peaceful, and by God’s grace, all six of them have turned out to be wonderful young Christian men and women. Hope you find them helpful.

1. Immediate obedience (not to immediately obey is to disobey).

2. Speak to, answer, look at your mother with absolute honor, respect, and deference (they tend to do that with me anyway but with their mother not as much, hence the rule).

3. No lying.

4. Eat whatever you’re given cheerfully and gratefully. Never say anything negative about any food that is set before you. Always be thankful.

When any of these rules are broken, significant consequences should follow immediately (we used corporal punishment), without delay. This should be delivered with resigned sorrow perhaps but without anger or a raised voice so that the child will know he or she is being disciplined as a consequence for the wrongdoing, not because they made us angry.

After discipline, there should be an immediate hug, forgiveness, and the Gospel. Jesus loves you and forgives you; so do I. And we go about the day, forgetting it happened.

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Proverbs 29:15

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Written By John Moody on X

Younger woman: “Hey Miss Anne, I was wondering, I really want to grow as a wife and mom and better serve the Lord in my home and with my husband and children. Can you help me?”

Older woman: “That is great. Honestly, Emily, every time I see you it makes me so happy. You are such a wonderful young wife and mom, and I see you really care about your husband and children. Can you share with me what is going well in your marriage and home, and what isn’t? I know we only have a few minutes. Oh, and not for or about your husband, by the way, but what are you doing well, and what are you doing poorly or struggling with?”

YW: “Well, at times I’m unsure how to honor my husband and the home has not been running very orderly. It’s been so stressful, especially when he gets home from work. I have really been struggling with…”

OW: “Oh, dear, many of us have been there. I take it you are pretty worn out after a day with the kids and maybe short tempered? Have you trained them to take a quiet time in the afternoon, or… “

YM: “I never heard of any of these ideas. Thank you. They are so helpful. I just never imaged how hard having so many littles would be.”

OW: “Oh, yes, that is a challenging stage. Especially when your family is far away or isn’t supportive. You know Paul and Sharon? They are great at helping young couples with nighttime and evening routines and helping kids sleep better, and they love having young couples over (sees signs of stress)… or coming to your house (no, they won’t care if your place is messy since they had eight kids and have seen it all, trust me dear!) and will bring dinner with them for you all. I will let them know, and I bet by tomorrow they will have reached out to find a day that works best for your family..”

YW: “Oh, that is such good news, but I am already badly behind on the cleaning, laundry, and cooking. We just started homeschool with our oldest. The house is honestly an absolute wreck. I just don’t know if we could have anyone over at the moment, and Tim is working extra long hours to help pay off a few medical bills from the last baby and when that nasty sickness had us have to make extra trips to the doctor…”

OW: “Why don’t I come over Thursday morning. I have a few hours free, and I bet my daughter and her daughter would love to come along as well. We can all chat while we help get the house caught up, and the kids play for a little bit! And that way, I can see changes that might help with how you are organizing, running the house, and training the children. A lot of young moms just don’t realize how much their kids can do so perhaps I can show you how to start training them to be a help to you…”

YW: “Oh, that would be great. I honestly didn’t have the best examples growing up. I don’t know how to do a lot of these things the Bible talks about….”

OW: “and if you all have a lot of bills right now, you should suggest to your husband to let one of the deacons know. This is exactly who and what they want some of the churches giving to go to help. Last month, they helped another young family in the church who had issues with their old cars. A few men went and took care of most of the repairs but one needed a mechanic, so the deacons loaned the family a car while they took the vehicle to someone they trust and work with and got it all taken care of. I will have my husband mention to deacon Steve that he should also reach out to your husband. The deacons have a schedule of families they check on each month to ensure no needs are going unmet…”

YW: “Wow, I… don’t know what to say… ”

OW: – gives a big hug – “It’s been lovely chatting, dear. You and your husband are doing a great job, and we see it. Look forward to seeing you Thursday, I will also bring lunch for everyone so you don’t need to worry about that. Just text me any food allergies or issues you all may have, and any foods your kids really like or dislike. I see my husband so want to go thank him for a number of things he did this week. That is a small way you can consistently honor him, especially in front of others, I will text you a few other ideas and we can talk about it more soon… ”

YW: “Tha…tha… thank you so much, Miss Anne.”

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Today is the day after Charlie Kirk’s funeral. I had tears all throughout it and was amazed how many preached the Gospel. I loved it! I also loved the boldness and courage it took Erika Kirk to give a thoughtful and emotional speech in front of millions of people soon after her husband was assassinated, but I don’t believe she needed to forgive the man who murdered her husband. (No, I don’t believe it was a sin for her to forgive him either. It’s good for her to do what she can to rid herself of any bitterness she may feel towards him which may take a while to accomplish. We must all diligently pray for wisdom and comfort for her.)

This is what God’s Word tells us about forgiveness.

“Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” (Luke 17:3,4) One must repent before they can be forgiven. God doesn’t forgive us unless we repent.

“Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.” (1 Timothy 5:20)

“Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works” (2 Timothy 4:14). Paul didn’t forgive Alexander.

“…forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32) Christ doesn’t forgive us unless we repent.

“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.” (Matthew 18:15-17)

Finally, this one from a man on X:

Should I forgive someone who hasn’t asked?

What do we do if the offender has never asked for forgiveness?

There is a difference between an ATTITUDE of forgiveness and TRANSACTIONAL forgiveness.

An Attitude of Forgiveness means I pray that God would forgive the offender, just like Jesus on the cross praying, “Father, forgive them” – asking God to grant them the gift of repentance.

The Attitude of Forgiveness says, “I have released this person from their debt towards me in the court of Heaven. In the presence of God who knows my heart, I no longer hold a grudge against them; I have released them of this debt before you.”

An attitude of forgiveness primes your heart and makes you ready to give transactional forgiveness when sought out.

This is VERY different than walking up to them and saying “I forgive you” unprompted. That’s unbiblical. It is unbiblical to express forgiveness to someone who hasn’t sought it.

This will cheapen and short-circuit the cycle of repentance and reconciliation. This cycle cannot happen if the offender doesn’t repent.

Does God forgive us this way? Just issue blanket forgiveness without repentance? No.

Transactional forgiveness always requires repentance.

If you cultivate an Attitude of Forgiveness, then when the offending party comes to you and asks you “Will you please forgive me,” you will already have the attitude of forgiveness. And you’ll be glad to forgive.

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***Here is a sermon preached by Scott LaPierre on this topic.

***Here is another sermon on this topic by Michael Pearl.

Today is the day after Charlie Kirk’s funeral. I had tears all throughout it and was amazed how many preached the Gospel. I loved it! I also loved a lot of Erika Kirk’s speech. There were four things I disagreed with her about. I will share these. We must pray for wisdom for her during this difficult time.

She told men how they should be as husbands. I didn’t like this nor think this was her place to do so. Women aren’t to teach men. We are only to teach women. It’s fine she told women to be virtuous. We absolutely should, but it seemed the list she gave to men was far longer. I wish she would have not done that. (Let me assure you, I don’t hold any of these issues with her speech against her at all! I am just sharing with you what I thought. I love her and want the very best for her.)

She said that wives shouldn’t be “servants” of their husbands. Christ said the greatest of all is the servant of all! Servant is not a bad word. If we can’t be a servant towards our husband as his help meet, who are we to be a servant for? (I agree we aren’t their slaves as she mentioned also. Slaves are bought and sold. Our husbands willingly chose us, and we chose them!)

She spoke about being the CEO of TPUSA. She needs to be home raising her children, not a CEO. If it means just a few hours while the children are napping to be on phone calls, that’s fine, but I pray it doesn’t take her away from her children. She can have highly capable godly men take her place in moving TPUSA forward. No one can take the place of her in her children’s lives. (There’s a post going around hoping she will be the first female president of the United States. I sure hope not! I never want a female president.)

The fourth one is very controversial, and many, if not most, of you will not agree with me, and that’s okay. I don’t believe she needed to forgive the man who murdered her husband.

“Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” (Luke 17:3,4) One must repent before they can be forgiven. God doesn’t forgive us unless we repent.

“Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.” (1 Timothy 5:20)

“…forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32) Christ doesn’t forgive us unless we repent.

“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.” (Matthew 18:15-17)

Finally, this one from a man on X:

Should I forgive someone who hasn’t asked?

What do we do if the offender has never asked for forgiveness?

There is a difference between an ATTITUDE of forgiveness and TRANSACTIONAL forgiveness.

An Attitude of Forgiveness means I pray that God would forgive the offender, just like Jesus on the cross praying, “Father, forgive them” – asking God to grant them the gift of repentance.

The Attitude of Forgiveness says, “I have released this person from their debt towards me in the court of Heaven. In the presence of God who knows my heart, I no longer hold a grudge against them; I have released them of this debt before you.”

An attitude of forgiveness primes your heart and makes you ready to give transactional forgiveness when sought out.

This is VERY different than walking up to them and saying “I forgive you” unprompted. That’s unbiblical. It is unbiblical to express forgiveness to someone who hasn’t sought it.

This will cheapen and short-circuit the cycle of repentance and reconciliation. This cycle cannot happen if the offender doesn’t repent.

Does God forgive us this way? Just issue blanket forgiveness without repentance? No.

Transactional forgiveness always requires repentance.

If you cultivate an Attitude of Forgiveness, then when the offending party comes to you and asks you “Will you please forgive me,” you will already have the attitude of forgiveness. And you’ll be glad to forgive.

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Written by John Moody on X

Younger woman: “Hey Miss Anne, I was wondering. I really want to grow as a wife and mom and better serve the Lord in my home and with my husband and kids. Can you help me?”

Older woman: “That is great. We are just about to start our newest woman’s ministry discipleship rotation, and this time I will teaching the women Nehemiah and Ezra!”

YW: “Oh, that’s well, but I really want to learn how to love and honor my husband better and how to keep the home running more orderly. It’s been so stressful, especially when he gets home from work. I have really been struggling with…”

OW: “and then, once a month, the woman’s book group is going to be doing Grudem’s Systematic Theology…”

YM: “Yeah, my husband is already going through a catechism with the family though, and aren’t the elders doing a theology class before church during the discipleship class every Sunday morning?”

OW: “and we are memorizing the 1689 London Baptist…”

YW: “Well, my husband already has us memorizing Psalms together. I just don’t know as tired and as little sleep as I am getting if I could really add any of this in. Do you know how to get little kids to sleep better and to sleep more quickly? We often aren’t getting to bed until after ten. and my husband has to be up for work at 4.30… ”

OW: “and you should consider coming on our quarterly four day women’s retreat. All the older moms make it!”

YW: “Well, um…. I am already really badly behind on the cleaning and laundry and cooking, and we just started homeschool with our oldest and we don’t have anyone to watch the kids. What I am looking for is someone who can teach me how to keep my home better and have it run more smoothly, for instance, how do you get any laundry done with three under five? They seem to make messes faster than…”

OW: “… This quarter’s event is Marla and me teaching the book of Ephesians!”

YW: “Didn’t the elders of the church just preach through the book of Ephesians? Doesn’t the Bible say it is their job to teach Bible and theology and if I have questions I should ask my husband?”

OW: “and I bet you would really benefit from reading JI Packer’s Knowing God…”

YW: “Probably, but right now I just really want to know how to manage my home and love my husband and kids better…”

OW: “Hopefully see you Wednesday for the ladies tea and bible study!”

YW: “Well, we have doctor’s appointments that morning, and I still need to find someone to sit with the two younger kids while I run Silas into…”

This isn’t too far off from what we personally experienced, and what we have seen in many churches for two decades.

 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5

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When President Kennedy was assassinated, I was five years old. We were driving when my mom heard about it on the radio. She began bawling her eyes out. I cried because my mom cried. Then, I remember Princess Diana’s death, but I didn’t have any connection to her. She seemed to have lived a sad life. September 11 attack was the next one which caused deep grief for everyone. I didn’t know anyone killed personally, but it was still tragic. Thousands lost their lives that day. I do remember crying off and on. Probably everyone did.

On September 10, 2025, I was eating lunch with two friends in my home. My husband came down and said, “I have some very bad news. Charlie Kirk was shot.” We were all shocked and checked our phones to see how he was doing. We found out soon afterwards that he had died. We all grieved over this but after they left, I sobbed for at least an hour. I still weep off and on. Why has this hit so many so deeply? Even all the newscasters on Fox News wept while talking about him that day. Scrolling through social media, short clips were shown of many highly influential people who shed tears over his death. Why?

He was one of a kind. He could hold a conversation with anyone, and be kind. He never attacked those who he was conversing with no matter what their politics or beliefs were. He was incredibly intelligent and persuasive. He was wise beyond his years. He always managed to slip the Gospel in wherever he spoke. He loved the Lord deeply. He loved marriage. He married at 27 years old. He was only married to the love of his life for four years. They had their first child the year after marriage, and the second only a couple of years later. He encouraged young men all over the nation at the colleges to get married and have children. Find a job and work hard to provide. He went around doing good and speaking Truth. It’s how we all should live.

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
Matthew 16:25

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