Gerda Saunders's Blog: Field Notes on My Dementia

April 8, 2026

“Pain does not run just along the body but also seizes the mind,” or, How a “lucky-to-get” clinic appointment thrust Gerda into the arms of Doña Quixote

Featured image: An illustration titled Birdman by Frits Ahlefeldt (1966), a Danish hiker and walking philosopher: “I’m wondering about this world, about us and what we do and think making drawn stories and research about the benefits of walking both in words and drawings.” He publishes his drawings at the “Museum of Psychology.” The illustration […]

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Published on April 08, 2026 20:18

March 10, 2026

“The black angel…forces open my hands /and in the palms/leaves her footprints”

 Featured image: Black angel in the Aurora consurgens (Dawn Rising) illuminated manuscript held at Zentralbibliothek Zürich in Switzerland, a 15th-century illuminated alchemical document, with its oldest, most heavily illustrated version dating to approximately 1420-1430.  Its author is unknown.  Post title: Quote from the poem “The Black Angel” by Michael S Harper (1938-2016).  He wrote his […]

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Published on March 10, 2026 20:36

January 20, 2026

To stave off dread, the Doña tries to keep on locomoting like “The Little Engine That Could”….

Featured image: Peter AI’ed the image from a grumpy photo of me and a meme about The Little Engine That Could You’d think, past sixty or so, the unconscious would give you some respite. But here, it says, is the little engine of dread and sorrow that runs your story —Robert Hass, “John Muir, A […]

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Published on January 20, 2026 20:04

January 11, 2026

Teeter-totter, or, “The Precision of Pain” vs “the Blurriness of Joy”

 Featured image:  A year ago or so, I saw a photo by Salt Lake City poet, writer, community literary-arts leader, photographer—and my friend—Joel Long on his nature and wildlife blog that raised gooseflesh on my arms. Teeter-totter is his shot of coyotes on the salt flats of the Great Salt Lake, the Davis County Causeway […]

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Published on January 11, 2026 17:59

December 24, 2025

In this season of our Sun’s death and rebirth, may you be “wound/ With mercy round and round/ As if with air/” Gerard Manley Hopkins (1883)

Featured image: About 700 prehistoric cave paintings—strung along about 1 1/2 miles of wall in the Magura Cave, Bulgaria—include an annual sun-moon calendar from the Bronze Age that—via carbon dating of the bat guano out of which it was created—archeologists dated back to ca 7,000 years ago. Flanking the calendar, human figures salute the sunrise […]

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Published on December 24, 2025 22:00

November 24, 2025

Doña Quixote make-overs that-did-not-take against the background of more serious affirmations of entropy

Featured image: Peter made the AI image from a news photo of the mess after the Wildwood election rally. He added 2 items from other rallies: a red hat and an abandoned flag. Doña Quixote with broom shows her hubris by imagining that she still can contribute to setting right our sociopolitical mayhem. Isn’t it […]

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Published on November 24, 2025 15:17

August 28, 2025

Gerda re-cognizes her childhood “what shall I be’s” in light of Doña Quixote’s old age Que Será, Serás

Featured image: Child Gerda—9 years old, Grade VI, in photo—imagines what she shall be when she grows up. Thanks to Peter for manipulating this photo and several illustrations (artists not known) as background to the photo, as well as creating the other manipulated images. “Que será, será  Whatever will be, will be The future’s not […]

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Published on August 28, 2025 17:42

May 5, 2025

When Doña Quixote is more anguished about the holes in her HAIR than the holes in her HEAD…

Featured image: Detail of the Portrait of Macee Leodepard, Wife of The French Trader Jacques Coeur, by the French School (15th century). Jacques Coeur ( 1395-1456), a contemporary of Joan of Arc (1412-1431), was a significant patron of the arts, one of the wealthy merchants who helped shape the artistic landscape during the period when art […]

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Published on May 05, 2025 20:37

January 31, 2025

Blessed are the caregivers, for they make a heaven on earth for those they love: please Zoom with us to talk about “SPOUSAL CAREGIVING THROUGH DEMENTIA”

Featured image: Danish artist Sophus Vermehren, Interior with Elderly Man Sleeping (1944). By the time of this painting, Vermehren was nearing the end of a long and successful career (1866-1950). He lived with his wife, Yelva Petrea Sophie Vermehren. Art critics believe that the elderly man on the left of the painting is a self-portrait […]

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Published on January 31, 2025 21:01

November 2, 2024

Doña Quixote wants to commission a retablo: “with the sun in my face and the wind in my hair…”

Featured image: Retablo, Oil on tin, 2007. In Mexico and other Spanish-speaking South American countries, a retablo is a devotional offering—using iconography from Catholicism—painted on a panel to hang in a church in fulfillment of a vow or in gratitude for divine intercession. The text on the image says, “My sentimental life was in chaos. I […]

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Published on November 02, 2024 19:48

Field Notes on My Dementia

Gerda  Saunders
When I turned 61 in 2011, I was diagnosed with cerebral microvascular disease, a precursor of dementia. Since retiring from my job as the associate director of Gender Studies at the University of Utah ...more
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