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Ilene S. Cohen

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Ilene S. Cohen

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December 2017


Dr. Ilene S. Cohen, PhD, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and mother of two young girls. She is one of the most respected voices in the psychology of people-pleasing and navigating the difficulty of living an intentional life while trying to maintain fulfilling relationships. She is the author of 5 books, all of which have received awards and 5-star ratings from her readers. These include her most famous book, When It's Never About You, and her latest book, Anxious for Answers.

She's a regular contributor to Psychology Today, with dedicated readers in the millions. Her books and therapy practice are fueled by a passion for helping people achieve their goals, build a strong sense of self, and lead fulfilling and meaningfu
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When Relationship Peace Requires Self-Betrayal: How to reclaim your sense of self in difficult relationships.

Carol was a social worker who had spent years studying relationships. She understood boundaries, healthy communication, trauma, and emotional regulation. But there was one relationship where all her expertise seemed to fall short: her relationship with her mother.

Whenever Carol said no to something, her mother got angry or pulled away. If Carol tried to explain that something had hurt her, her mot

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Published on September 15, 2026 08:01
Average rating: 4.14 · 388 ratings · 88 reviews · 10 distinct works • Similar authors
When It's Never About You: ...

really liked it 4.00 avg rating — 247 ratings — published 2017 — 3 editions
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Anxious for Answers

4.26 avg rating — 54 ratings — 2 editions
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It’s Within You: A Detailed...

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4.23 avg rating — 30 ratings — 3 editions
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The Forgiveness Workbook: C...

4.64 avg rating — 22 ratings — 2 editions
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This Isn’t Working for Me: ...

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4.38 avg rating — 13 ratings — 2 editions
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Not Enough You: A People-Pl...

4.56 avg rating — 9 ratings
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The Forgiveness Workbook: C...

4.17 avg rating — 6 ratings — 4 editions
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Adios, Anxiety: A reflectiv...

4.75 avg rating — 4 ratings — 2 editions
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It’s Within You

it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 3 ratings
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Anxious for Answers: The Su...

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How to End a Love...
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Ilene’s Recent Updates

Ilene S. Cohen wrote a new blog post

When Relationship Peace Requires Self-Betrayal: How to reclaim your sense of self in difficult relationships.

Carol was a social worker who had spent years studying relationships. She understood boundaries, healthy communication, trauma, and emotional regulati Read more of this blog post »
Ilene Cohen is currently reading
How to End a Love Story by Yulin Kuang
How to End a Love Story
by Yulin Kuang (Goodreads Author)
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Quotes by Ilene S. Cohen  (?)
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“The words people say speak more about them than they do about you. If you can keep that in mind the next time someone tries to criticize your life and your choices, you won’t take their words to heart or make them mean anything about who you are as a person.”
― Ilene S. Cohen, When It's Never About You: The People-Pleaser's Guide to Reclaiming Your Health, Happiness and Personal Freedom

“Cynthia Kersey reminds us, “The negative comments of others merely reflect their limitations—not yours.”
― Ilene S. Cohen, When It's Never About You: The People-Pleaser's Guide to Reclaiming Your Health, Happiness and Personal Freedom

“The words people say speak more about them than they do about you. If you can keep that in mind the next time someone tries to criticize your life and your choices, you won’t take their words to heart or make them mean anything about who you are as a person.”
― Ilene S. Cohen, When It's Never About You: The People-Pleaser's Guide to Reclaiming Your Health, Happiness and Personal Freedom

“Cynthia Kersey reminds us, “The negative comments of others merely reflect their limitations—not yours.”
― Ilene S. Cohen, When It's Never About You: The People-Pleaser's Guide to Reclaiming Your Health, Happiness and Personal Freedom

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”
― Henry Ford

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

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