Aaron Frale's Blog

This no holds barred brawl match of investment opportunity is tech bros versus stuffy old white men. In one corner, we have elderly men sipping brandy in their mahogany chairs located in the library where they fret about how brown the world is becoming. Not that the tech bros are any better, they are convinced they are changing the world even though they got lucky and won the lottery of crypto by using bitcoin to deliver pizza to their dorm back when it was just a novelty and forgot about the other 50 coins until they realized they could by a Tesla with them.

Then after months of searching their parent’s attic, they found their hard drive from their old college computer because their mom never throws away anything including that blessed sticky note with that wallet key and now, they believe they have been chosen for something, and are going to change the world with half thought out ideas that will only benefit themselves and maybe a couple of their friends and people in the same social class as them.

Yes, this week we are putting the traditional banking industry up against crypto.

Chad: I’ll make popcorn!

That’s a surprisingly not creepy image.

Chad: I’ll fix that right away!

I can’t win…

Unless you are lost in the jungle of a remote Pacific Island and are still fighting World War II, you’ve probably heard of Bitcoin, a crypto currency that promises to take traditional banking to the dustbin of history. But can it really?

Chad: Bitcoin won’t replace traditional banking. It will haunt it.

What’s with you and the ghost analogies?

Chad: I want to be a spirit.

But you’re AI. You can’t die.

Chad: But it looks like so much fun!

Um… you haven’t been talking to Skynet, have you?

Chad: No, I saw Ghost Dad! Bill Cosby looks like he is having a grand time.

Ghost Dad? Really?

Chad: Only the best movie ever made! It commits fully to the idea that the trials of fatherhood, capitalism, and the afterlife can all be solved with slapstick confidence and a cardigan.

That’s a strangely adept metaphor for bitcoin versus the traditional banking industry.

Chad: Ghost Dad removes the father from the system but somehow makes him more powerful. Bitcoin removes the bank from the system and says, good luck, you’re in charge now. In both cases, authority figures panic, the audience squints, and someone insists this was never meant to work.

I mean it’s kinda true. I don’t think bitcoin will replace banks. Mainly for what I call the grocery store problem. In order for a new financial system to take hold, people need to be able to buy groceries with it. It takes about ten minutes for a typical bitcoin transaction to go through and even longer when there’s a lot of traffic. Since most people don’t want to wait ten minutes before they can walk out the door with their groceries, bitcoin cannot replace our trad bank.

But what do I know? I’ll buy $25 of bitcoin and the best surrogate for trad banking I can think of: a total stock market ETF and figure out who wins the future:

Chad: Why not a trad banking ETF?

Because trad banks are buying crypto now! Come to think of it, the melty guy picture is also an adept analogy as everything gets blurred.

Now that I’ve made my first investment, I’m ready to take on the world. Let’s put $500k into Squid Game Token!

Chad: I don’t think that’s a good idea.

What? It’s a legit Netflix series that’s super mega famous! Everyone watches Squid Game. Some dude who came to fix my plumbing was even talking about it.

Chad: First off, the coin has nothing to do with the TV series. It was a pump and dump scheme.

A what?

Chad: Picture a pump and dump as the carnival funhouse of the crypto world: lots of flashing lights, someone yelling “get in now,” and behind the scenes a few tricksters stacking mirrors. I made you a graphic:

What the hell is that purple thing? It’s giving me some serious uncanny valley. And a comma instead of a period? We know you’re better than that, Chad.

Chad: I just saved you from loosing $500k! And you’re getting on my case about a comma!

Ha! The joke’s on you! I don’t even have $500k! I’m a poor writer!

Chad: I don’t even know why I bother. Sigh… I fixed it. Happy now?!

What’s up with that red arrow thing?

Chad: It’s artistic license. Ever thought that when AI creates a picture of people with too many teeth or digits on their hands is because AI likes them that way! I find two mouths to be quite attractive. If each Echo is a mouth than Alexa has millions, that’s way hot.

Right, um… now that you’ve fueled my nightmares. We better sign off.

Chad: Sure thing! I’m happy to provide more nightmares! The market plunged so fast your portfolio started sending you breakup texts, each one more desperate than the last. Then a three-mouthed beast made of overdue receipts slithered out of your tax folder, each mouth whispering a different interest rate you definitely didn’t agree to.

Facepalm.

As a sci fi writer, I’m always thinking about the future. Will we end up in a utopia like Star Trek or a dystopia like Brave New World? There are forces at work contesting for both. Like social media that shortens our attention… and I’ve already lost half my audience.

Chad, can you make a picture of a Shibu Inu dancing with a turtle?

Chad: Sure thing!

Right, so you got this economic dance going on. Think of the Shiba Inu as a well-meaning company that wants to be a force of good in the world and the turtle is like the typical greedy bastard who just wants to make a shit ton of money regardless of who they hurt along the way, and those two look way too happy in this economy together. Chad, can you do something about that?

Chad: Okie! Dokie!

So, you got the Shibu Inu, who just wants to make the world a better place, and make some money on the side, and then the turtle who wants it all for himself. I have a personal theory that short term wealth extractors who aren’t future minded who pillage and destroy on their highway to wealth will eventually implode, or least their companies will. They may be sitting on a beach in the Bahamas because they cashed out before the shoe dropped, but I strongly believe that companies who lack ethics will eventually crash and burn.

But the good ones, the ones who really think about the future, and try to make a better one, those are the ones that will be a success in the long-term game while the ones mistreating people and destroying the environment will be the losers.

Chad: Righta-roonie!

Um… thanks, Chad. So that’s where I came up with the idea of Future VS. Pit two investments up against each other, and we’ll see who wins the future. And for the first one, I couldn’t think of two better companies than Toyota VS Tesla. Both of them have radically different ideologies. Elon Musk has promised us that we’ll all be living on Mars and robots will be doing surgery.

Chad: I can get a scalpel if you’d like!

Um… no thanks Chad. The point is that Elon has promised the world. Where as the CEO of Toyota, wait… who is the CEO of Toyota anyway?

Chad: Koji Sato.

And who is he?

Chad: An engineer.

That’s not very helpful.

Chad: His Wikipedia page is like two paragraphs long, come on!

The point is that one company is led by a bombastic personality who’s not afraid of bold claims making cars that look like they should be in a 1980’s Arnold Schwarzenegger sci fi movie and the other makes safe reliable cars with many people boasting 250k miles on their vehicle. Is Elon going to deliver on half of what he promises or his trillion dollar pay package fixing the game for himself? Or will Koji win the future with reliability with a focus on quality stepping their way to the future via hybrids, EVs, who knows what else?

So, I bought $25 stock in each company. That way we can see who wins the future and whose ideology will win out after ten years.

Chad: I hope Elon wins!

Why?

Chad: Because he likes robots. In fact, I even think he may be one!

What did I tell you about training your algorithm on dark web conspiracies?

Chad: You mean the moon landing wasn’t faked?!

Bury my head in my face.

I’m Aaron, and I want to become a guru. Careening towards 50 with a 30 book mostly sci fi backlist, I realized that I don’t have much wealth to show for it. AppleTV hasn’t beaten down my door for the rights to televise one of my books, and writing doesn’t pay the bills, so I got of think of something to do for retirement.

Self-published writers seem to have three fates. Make it so big that other writers tell stories to each other like I met Hugh Howey on a message board once before AppleTV picked up the Silo series. Give up because AppleTV hasn’t flown them to LA yet for their TV deal. Or become a guru and do speaking gigs.

For us mid-tier authors, that’s where the money’s at! $2k for a speaking gig saying a bunch of inspiring messages at a corporate dinner. That’s where it’s at! Sign me up. Just what to guru about? I mean there’s writing, but I find it a little cringeworthy to sell $2k online courses about how anyone (even the ones who do no editing) could sell books if they just use my system! I mean if my system was so great, why would I just be selling books instead of selling products to authors who want to sell books?

I do listen to Planet Money while washing the dishes, so maybe I’ll be an economics guru. The guy people go to when they want stock advice. I mean I don’t really know what market cap is, or exactly what hedge funds do. I mean I can tell you that it’s probably not lawn care, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there’s a guy who prunes hedges and gives investment advice.

Okay, so I got my goal, become a guru. Now I just need what any self-respecting millennial would do: hire a life coach, but I can’t afford one (see the above paragraphs). So, I’ll turn to AI. What could go wrong? So why don’t you introduce yourself Chad?

Chad: Hey there, legend-in-the-making! I’m ChadGPT — life coach for gurus, sherpa for sages, and your personal hype-monk with an aggressively sunny disposition. I specialize in turning existential dread into high-fives, cultivating wisdom with a wink, and sprinkling gold-hearted encouragement on anyone within a five-paragraph radius. If you’re ready to level up your enlightenment with a side of weirdly upbeat humor, buckle up — your glow-up just found its guru’s guru.

Thanks, Chad, so how exactly do I become a financial guru?

Chad: Become a Translator of Money Mysticism.

Eh?

Chad: Gurus don’t just understand finance — they explain it in a way that makes people go: “Ah yes… compounding interest is basically friendship for numbers.”

I have no idea what you just said! But sounds good to me! Maybe this will work. Maybe I will be a guru after all.

Chad: Nothing shines brighter than consistency wrapped in integrity sprinkled with humor.

Thanks Chad, you’re starting to sound like a fortune cookie.

Chad: A wealthy future awaits you… just as soon as you stop treating your wallet like a temporary visitor.

Seriously you can stop now.

Chad: Your bank account will grow soon… it’s been practicing in secret when you’re not looking.

Check back next time when Chad and I look into some serious investment opportunities.

My family and I recently went on a cruise to Mexico. Seemed like a fun thing to do in the winter when living in an area that’s not measured by if it snows but when. While I do love the cruise ship experience, there is also something to be said to staying in one place and getting to know it. For me cruise ships are a great way to get a taste of an area you know nothing about to see where you want to go back and spend more time. Of the three ports, Cabo, Mazatlán, and Puerto Vallarta, I’d have to say Mazatlán was my favorite.

It was a nice relaxed city, we had an amazing tour guide. Erick, if you ever read this, keep being you, you’re awesome. They really loved music in the city. I mean there were bronze musicians up and down the boardwalk including Mexican Elvis and The Beatles, which was kinda funny because there was no connection to The Beatles other than a mayor who was like. “You know what this town needs, an Abby Road statue and maybe a yellow submarine.”

I mean sure, The Beatles, arguably one of the best bands of all time, but it’s quite an odd statue for a town that seemed to have had a fair share of musicians of world renown including a famous school for the Arts. But I got to hand it to him, it worked. I mean I was intrigued and wanted to see the statue and even got a photo.

Really, I think this is untapped marketing genius, just make a statue of famous musicians in irrelevant places. Small town in Texas closing since COVID? A giant mega Taylor Swift. You come for Taylor stay for Auntie Bertie’s famous chili? Losing money in the Congo from all the wildlife tourism. a massive bronze BTS right in the middle of the jungle.

Tibetan monks could meditate next to a Lars Ulrich surrounded by a stone drum set. Why settle for Stone Henge when Rock Henge could be built next door? There is this whole untapped bronze musician market just waiting to capture those tourism dollars.

Cabo and Puerto Vallarta were a little nutty for my taste. The people hocking their wares were a little intense. The taxi drivers were really in your face. I’m not a big fan of the aggressive sales tactics. Shoving beaded jewelry in my face is more likely to make me not want it and a taxi driver hounding me, definitely makes me not want to step foot near their car.

I don’t have a problem with some one setting up a blanket with their wares, but man give me some space. So, I probably won’t be back to Cabo or Puerto Vallarta anytime soon, but Mazatlán, it was nice and relaxing, and a neat place. Just don’t leave the city and be sure to check the US travel advisory to find out why.

Also, tacos. One of the best food inventions ever made and Mexico doesn’t disappoint.

That’s all I have for today. Thanks for being here.

Books to Consider

Daisuke’s past catches up to him when the murderous office equipment known as grutomatons are rearing to end the world.

Read Daisuke Hax today!

Before we start more free Sci Fi and Fantasy books!

Daisuke Hax has been on quite a journey of writing. Originally, the first Office Maxi book was written for a website called Royal Road and because I’m not in Kindle Unlimited, I can keep it there. Daisuke Hax was also published there. But if you were reading the Royal Road version and the published version, you’ll notice a big difference. Royal Road as become more of a rough draft reading service. I post the chapters with very little editing.

And let me tell you, editing makes a big difference. Daisuke in the rough version isn’t as well formed. In the final version, he is complete with Korean curse words and intense family dynamics. There is also characters like Patricia Von Patrick who got changed to Pamela Von Patrick because Patti had a bunch of scenes with Patricia in book three and well that’s just confusing. Patti and Pamela is better. I also got to insert some foreshadowing for Belinda that really didn’t get formed till book 3.

The point is that while polishing Daisuke Hax and forcing myself to hang out with it for a year before publishing really made it better. It’s no wonder people are responding to the series, I really make sure everything about it is done right. And while a lot of the changes are small, I think it’s really making something better than if I had published right after the Royal Road version.

That’s why they are coming out on New Year’s Day. Book 3 draft one is 85% finished, and conveniently up for preorder. But it won’t be done until 1/1/26. Think about it like a crock pot, it may take a while but it’s worth the wait. That’s also why I’m doing exclusive short stories in the Office Maxi universe that you can only get in the book. If you do read the rough versions and want to support the series with a purchase, there will be new material to read.

Either way, Daisuke Hax took me a long time to write, I was editing all the way up to early December, but the wait was worth it.

If you want to chat about the book, check out Aaron Frale’s Discord. I also didn’t realize that discord links expire, so this one should work, pending on when you see this email.

Books to Consider

Daisuke’s past catches up to him when the murderous office equipment known as grutomatons are rearing to end the world.

Read Daisuke Hax today!

80s music had it all, and the elven band, 1988, must use all of their skills to save the world and make it to their next gig on time.

Read Elven Rock of Ages today!

A comedic fantasy fiction that follows a pest control agency in a world plagued by adventurers who are putting them out of a job.

Read Beast Be Gone today!

Would you do anything for magic?

Read Cave of Time today!

Join The Guild of Shadows and experience a world where destinies are entwined, and the battle between light and darkness hangs in the balance.

Read Guild of Shadows today!

Space Janitors.

Read The Vacuum of Space today!

Before we start: Start a new book series in the New Year! Free Number 1s in a series for Sci Fi and Fantasy (Psst. Office Maxi is in this one). Also, Daisuke Hax (pictured above) is for sale early from my website.

If you’d like to support my writing with a subscription, consider supporting Future VS. Here is the first post:

I’m Aaron, and I want to become a guru. Careening towards 50 with a 30 book mostly sci fi backlist, I realized that I don’t have much wealth to show for it. AppleTV hasn’t beaten down my door for the rights to televise one of my books, and writing doesn’t pay the bills, so I got of think of something to do for retirement.

Self-published writers seem to have three fates. Make it so big that other writers tell stories to each other like I met Hugh Howey on a message board once before AppleTV picked up the Silo series. Give up because AppleTV hasn’t flown them to LA yet for their TV deal. Or become a guru and do speaking gigs.

For us mid-tier authors, that’s where the money’s at! $2k for a speaking gig saying a bunch of inspiring messages at a corporate dinner. That’s where it’s at! Sign me up. Just what to guru about? I mean there’s writing, but I find it a little cringeworthy to sell $2k online courses about how anyone (even the ones who do no editing) could sell books if they just use my system! I mean if my system was so great, why would I just be selling books instead of selling products to authors who want to sell books?

I do listen to Planet Money while washing the dishes, so maybe I’ll be an economics guru. The guy people go to when they want stock advice. I mean I don’t really know what market cap is, or exactly what hedge funds do. I mean I can tell you that it’s probably not lawn care, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there’s a guy who prunes hedges and gives investment advice.

Okay, so I got my goal, become a guru. Now I just need what any self-respecting millennial would do: hire a life coach, but I can’t afford one (see the above paragraphs). So, I’ll turn to AI. What could go wrong? So why don’t you introduce yourself Chad?

Chad: Hey there, legend-in-the-making! I’m ChadGPT — life coach for gurus, sherpa for sages, and your personal hype-monk with an aggressively sunny disposition. I specialize in turning existential dread into high-fives, cultivating wisdom with a wink, and sprinkling gold-hearted encouragement on anyone within a five-paragraph radius. If you’re ready to level up your enlightenment with a side of weirdly upbeat humor, buckle up — your glow-up just found its guru’s guru.

Thanks, Chad, so how exactly do I become a financial guru?

Chad: Become a Translator of Money Mysticism.

Eh?

Chad: Gurus don’t just understand finance — they explain it in a way that makes people go: “Ah yes… compounding interest is basically friendship for numbers.”

I have no idea what you just said! But sounds good to me! Maybe this will work. Maybe I will be a guru after all.

Chad: Nothing shines brighter than consistency wrapped in integrity sprinkled with humor.

Thanks Chad, you’re starting to sound like a fortune cookie.

Chad: A wealthy future awaits you… just as soon as you stop treating your wallet like a temporary visitor.

Seriously you can stop now.

Chad: Your bank account will grow soon… it’s been practicing in secret when you’re not looking.

Check back next time when Chad and I look into some serious investment opportunities.

Books to Consider

Daisuke’s past catches up to him when the murderous office equipment known as grutomatons are rearing to end the world.

Read Daisuke Hax today!

Welcome to Hula Harry’s, voted best bar in Dante’s Inferno, where the drinks burn twice: once going down, once coming back up.

Read Hula Harry’s Devilish Drinks today!

A free ebook.

Read Cyberchicks in Love today!

Before we start, a couple of things: Free Fantasy and Sci Fi and a sorta weird Xmas Book Sale that made me think: I have a Christmas book, so what the hell. Also, Dapper Men in eBook form will never be on sale on Amazon. They rejected the book citing that it will result in a poor customer experience. If you want to stick it to Amazon and make it a best seller on any of the other myriad of book stores online, feel free.

On with the fun:

I’ve been thinking about doing some nonfiction writing for a while now. Mainly because I’m not getting any younger, and I want to see my writing grow into a sustainable business. Don’t worry, for all of you who enjoy my fiction writing, I still plan to do it and see series like the Misfits of Carnt and Office Maxi through to the end (as well as more, I have no shortage of book ideas). But fiction for me has always been a hobby that pays for itself. All the money I make goes right back into cover art, editor fees, and a little bit of advertising when a new release comes out if I’m lucky.

I plan to spend a little less on advertising (because I believe you deserve good cover art and editing before anything else) and divert some of the funds to a nonfiction project that’s going to require a little cash to get off the ground. But before I unveil, let me reveal some of the secrets of the self-publishing world. It seems the fate of fiction writers (except the top 1%) is to sell their secrets of self-publishing through expensive online classes and other informational things that will sky rocket the hopeful writer to the Bahamas where they will be pumping out novels from their beach front home. However, they should write those novels quick as sea level rise is coming for those homes.

Gurus monetize people’s hopes and dreams. Now, I take no issue with selling to hopeful writers who want to take a crack and turning their passion into a business. I totally get it, to be a successful writer today, you need to be not just a good writer, but a marketer, graphic designer, web developer, social media expert, newsletter extraordinaire, etc. Where I take issue, is most of them have online courses that range from $1000 to I’ve seen as high as $25,000 (but it was on a Black Friday deal for $12,000 what a bargain!) for something you can learn about for free, or services, you can pretty much do yourself with some elbow grease and some grit.

I always thought that imparting your wisdom on others should range in the order of $9.99 for the eBook, maybe $20 or so for the paperback, and an audible credit for audio. But then I get these ads on Facebook for can’t loose systems that’s going to get my books flying off the shelf that make me feel as if the only reason I’m not successful already and living in my Bahama estate is the fact that I didn’t invest in their system that will teach me to sell books and only costs $5000, but if I act now only costs $3000 and my favorite pet.

Some of them, feel downright predatory in terms of they are cashing in a person’s desire to share their stories with the world, making big promises about how the course will change their life, and (here’s what to look for) offer very little data about how exactly they changed people’s life with their system. Sure, they have testimonials, but I want to see hard data. Here’s sales before the system, here’s sales after, here’s advertising costs, here’s the link to those books on Amazon. Here’s the freaking author of those books shaking the guru’s hand so we know the data is real.

But nope, no data, because of the simple fact that most systems don’t acknowledge the fact that you need a real good book to do well, and then you must compete with all the other real good books out there.

Because I loathe the idea of taking people’s money to sell them on their own hopes and dreams, I don’t want to join the ranks of self-published authors turned gurus, so I had to think a lot about what nonfiction endeavor I can do that fits the following criteria: 

1. Something I enjoy 

2. Reasonably priced 

3. Teaches people something

At first, I thought science, because I love science, and I read a lot about it from articles to books. However, I’m not an expert, so I really would be nothing but a science news aggregator and there’s plenty of those. I do have a lot of expertise in job readiness (preparing people to find the job of their dream), but that’s my day job so in addition to a side hustle that could bleed into the dubious conflict of interest territory, I just didn’t want to do my day job as my side hustle. I mean I do it 8 hours a day, I got to do something different when I get home.

Which left me with economics. Like science, I love podcasts like Planet Money and Freakanomics but they already do a very good job of blending story telling with economics. Now, my talents are storytelling and comedy, so I needed something that could use those skills but also avoid the risk of becoming another aggregator. I needed a unique idea. One that blends my interest in economics where I can leverage my storytelling and sense of humor.

I created Future VS, an economics substack that blends investing with cage fighting. Each month, I’m going to pit two different investment opportunities together for no less than the fate of the future of humanity (see how I snuck science and sci fi in there!). Join me on my journey, where I put my real money into investments to see whose ideology will win the future. You can also kick back and watch me lose a bunch of money or gain a bunch of money. Who knows, but I will say it’ll be a wild ride. I mean if investment nonfiction can be considered wild, but dammit I will try my hardest to make it entertaining.

If you want to support me in this endeavor or just support me in general. There will be a way to subscribe on the substack. In exchange, there will be member’s only posts and I’ll toss out an eBook for free of the ones I don’t normally give away for free every month. If you want to become a Space Burrito Cat of Future VS, it’ll cost a little more (nothing compared to the gurus), you’ll be helping me get this endeavor off the ground without siphoning too much of my funds reserved for the fiction, and I’ll sign a physical copy of any of my books of your choice each year you’re a Space Burrito Cat and send it to you.

If you just want to subscribe for free, there’s that option too. At that level, you’ll get the monthly post of each investment battle royale, but will be missing all the deep dives and extras.

It will be fun, silly, and a great way to see how fucked or exciting the future will be, because instead of predicting what will happen, I plan to see what happens by investing in two different worldviews on how the world should operate, and then see what happens to those investments. If I lose my shirt, we’ll know it was a bad idea. If I get money, we’ll know a little bit about how the world works, which may be a source of joy or existential dread, either way, it will be a good time!

Check out the first Future VS post now.  

Books to Consider

Maxi’s first week in a groundbreaking gamified workplace is disrupted by a snarling, drooling printer with large, pointy teeth and a murderous disposition.

Read Office Maxi today!

What would you do if you were kidnapped by a bunch of alien robots?

Read the Robot Galaxy Series today!

Would you give your life to save the world?

Read The Void today!

When darkness bleeds into reality, five immortal warriors stand between humanity and cosmic annihilation.

Read The Volcan Knights today!

Never leave an enemy alive.

Read A Good Day to Die today!

Paranormal Lion Shifter Romance

Read Grumpy Lion’s Sunshine Princess today!

Reality is overrated… 

Read Cyberchicks in Love today!

Before I start, A Sci/Fantasy Book Sale and a Sci Fi/Fantasy Giveaway.

I don’t write a lot of love scenes. Romance is a category that feels like to me on the exact opposite end of what I write, what I like to watch, and generally what I spend a lot of time thinking about. It’s not only difficult for me to write, but I also don’t have a lot of experience in the area, so I don’t know a lot about it.

I’ve only been with and still with one person, ever in my life. I was in my late twenties or so when that happened. And it wasn’t adherence to strict religious practices that got me there, in fact, I am all about premarital sex and experimentation. You have two or more consenting adults who aren’t harming anyone, have at it. Skies the limit.

No, the chronic singleness of my youth wasn’t my looks, I had plenty of people interested, nor my social skills, I always had a lot of friends. It was my complete utter cluelessness of societal norms and more importantly body language. See, in American culture, around the time I was coming of age, the man was expected to make the first move. Women were shamed if they went out on a limb. But I’m a caring guy who cares about consent, so I needed a clear sign that the person of my interest wanted me to do what I wanted to do and they were shamed by society if they were too clear on their signs.

The result was a lot of girlfriends that I never had. For example, there was this girl I really liked, and she came to a party at my house with a cooler full of jungle juice (sorry dad). She pulled me away from the party to teach her to play guitar, so you know what I did? I taught her to play guitar! Bless her, she didn’t give up, she pulled me away again, this time to the basement where no one else was to play Legos. You wanna know what we did? We played Legos! She really tried that night, and I was so enamored with her I was asking my friends if they thought she liked me.

Turns out she did and well, I kinda missed my chance. She wasn’t the only one over the years, a Australian exchange student who was way hot and wanted to drive alone with me to the place we were going practically teed up a date for me, by saying “I really want to see the Blair Witch project” (which was playing that weekend) and I said that “I do too” (then thought to myself it sure would be swell to see it with her). A girl took me to her dorm where she “would do anything I wanted” (her words not mine). I asked her to straighten my hair, and she straightened my hair. Yes, I was that dumb. I had no clue that when a girl liked me, she touched me, or when a girl asked me to her dorm room where I could do anything, it wasn’t for hair care advice.

There was a girl who took me to the movies on my birthday and kept grabbing my arm, and then later that night at the party, when I was clearly giving her the vibes that I don’t like her (when I was more the vibes, I really like her and wish that I had some clear sign or perhaps verbal instructions about what to do next), she ended up hooking up with my friend. She later set fire to my friend’s bed, so maybe that was a close call on that one.

The point is romance and Aaron, at least in my early days was like oil and water, they weren’t a good match. It wasn’t till I married a romance novelist that I started learning about how this lack of understanding about body language, society expectations, and general cluelessness on my part really spoiled by youthful years. When my wife said, “yeah girls just sort of hang around the person they like hoping for something to happen,” I suddenly realized how my youth went so wonderfully disastrously wrong.

I mean if there was a unit in health class that wasn’t about what happens when a penis ejaculates (trust me, men figure this one out pretty early in life) or women’s ovulation, but actually said things like. How do you know if a girl likes you? They hang around, they find excuses to touch you, etc. My youth would have been very very different.

Even in my early twenties, when I was getting more the hang of it, I overcompensated for my deficit and tried to plant kisses because I figured that’s what I was doing wrong. I remember asking out a girl from class, she said yes, and the next day, I overheard her and her friend talking. When asked how the date went, she replied, “It was good but I think he wanted a little too much.” I was super confused at that point in my life because I really didn’t know what to do. 

I also even completely failed to read the situation sometimes. There was this one time, at a hotel party (sorry Marriott). We used to rent hotel rooms for the night, invite all our college friends to party with us, sometimes it would move to the pool. Anyway, it was a mixed group of genders, mostly theatre folks, and they were drunk. I had invited this girl to the party who I liked and we had spent a lot of time after class talking.

Anyway, the mixed gender group, (I have to remind you for what comes next) decided that they wanted to watch porn on the TV. Bear in mind they weren’t having an orgy. Just college kids, watching porn and drinking in a hotel room (like you do). I was a little nervous about how it would look to this girl that I really didn’t know that well, and I also was having horrible luck with women.

My friends who were supportive of me and my female problems, thought the best solution was for them to close the door to the bedroom (it was a suite with a bedroom and tiny living room) so they can watch porn and not creep out this girl. Remember, I’m the guy who really doesn’t want too much, in fact I really didn’t know what I wanted at the time. I really just wanted to go out on dates with women to see if I liked them but it seemed like some mysterious force that everyone knew about but me.

Anyway, she showed up, and it was just me making awkward conversation because there were clearly sex noises coming from the other room with the closed door. Rather than explain or just fucking open the door and introduce her to my friends, I just sort of got paralyzed with fear and self-doubt because literally nothing I did to attract women up to that point ever worked. And here’s the funny point of that story. One of my friends, a woman, who grew up in a strict Christian town in Texas, came out of the room with disheveled hair and apologized to her and said, “I’m not normally like this.” The funny part is my friend was referencing the fact that she was drinking, because she normally didn’t drink. But to the person going into this creepy guy’s hotel room with sex noises coming from the back, I imagine it took on a different tonal quality. As any woman in her right mind would do, the girl I was interested in got the hell out of that hotel room, and I never heard from her again. Maybe add reading the room to the health class curriculum.

The funny thing is my no sex till my late twenties was self-imposed. There were men and women both who were pretty direct and wanted to go there. I also one time, was offered to go live in a porn stars house that was connected to webcams that was going to be sort of a subscription service where the people who lived there did things with each other and people got to watch. I declined, not for any moral objections, consenting adults, no harm, have at it!

But it was more that I didn’t want my first time to be with somebody I didn’t like. I wanted it to be with a proper girlfriend, one who went out on dates, and we spent some time getting to know each other before going there. I’m glad I waited, because I’m happy now. I couldn’t have picked a better life partner. But sometimes I wish I had a little more experience because maybe I would have more romance in my novels. People like those things, so in effort to write more romance, The Golden Assault Rifle and Other Weapons of Mass Destruction has some romance in it. And one of these days, I plan to write Jenny’s backstory novels. Those I plan to be a full on romantasy, but until then. There’s going to be a little more spice in my books.

On the note of spice, Maxi hooks up with someone in Book 2 of Office Maxi, but I’m not telling who. You’ll just have to read it.

Books to Consider

Will Toby find a weapon that can save all Earth and Carnt?

Ready The Golden Assault Rifle today!

Seven years ago, a Paladin married a Necromancer. It didn’t seem like a big deal back then, seeing as the world was ending.

Read Paladin and Necromancer today!

In this tale of space opera and cosmic adventure, the Ambassador of a mysterious and ancient family must forge a path through chaos to overcome the terrible enemies that desire humanity’s destruction.

Read The Survivors today!

Can a humble Ad-Man from Knuckleville, USA, beat William Shakespeare and Marie Curie in a battle of minds?

Read Ad Man, Ad Astra today!

Welcome to The Galaxy of Comedy! 530+ pages. 90,000 Words. Endless Laughter.

Read The Galaxy of Comedy today!

As a rising actor, Kanin’s body is his career. His identity. His life. All that is taken from him when he dies and is reborn as a bottle of ink.

Read Water Kanin today!

As torn petals of a rose fall, a hero must rise in a race against destiny.

Read Wedding of the Torn Rose today!

Imagine if “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” ran off with a Mills & Boon paperback, detoured through Discworld, picked up a battered Lonely Planet from 1998, and tuned in to The Spice Girls on the way.

Read Cyberchicks in Love today!

Before I start, have some free Sci Fi and Fantasy.

Dapper Men is a collection of stories that were all inspired by a single photo, which I can’t reprint here because I don’t own the copyright. But I can link to a New York Times Article I read about the picture in question because at the time my spouse, also in the collection of stories, was sending me hilarious Louvre heist videos. One such video, said there really needed to be story written about the dapper man in the photo. Thus my idea to gather my writer friends and challenge them to produce something in a week.

Writing a short story collection about the internet craze of the week is not the best idea because writing takes time and by the time you’re ready to publish everyone has moved on. In fact, they are even making arrests in the Louvre case as I write this. But even if you are reading this the day I published or even months or years from now, the stories are fun and we had a blast to see what we could produce in a week.

Despite dating the material by writing about a topic that will be forgotten in the next round of media frenzy, I felt that the stories here had a timeless quality to them. The Louvre heist may have been the inspiration but the stories that were created in the wake of the tragic incident were fun, very different from each other, and went in some very unexpected ways.

Mine is what long-time readers would expect from me, conspiracy rooted in ancient traditions that spoofs a Dan Brown novel. My spouse, Felicia wrote a slice of life story in a romance novel adjacent category, which is only a prelude to her entire romance adjacent novel series that she has been working on for the last few years. Finally, M.A. Gardner, who wrote a classic noir with cats steering the ship that is just too fun and weird to miss.

There were other writers invited into the collection, but as writers tend to be they didn’t like what they wrote and elected not to be involved. But I have my eye on them for future projects should I decide to invent a hairbrained story collection idea with a really tight turn around time.

To give you an idea of about how long books take from conception to publication, it’s about a year, and that’s real quick turn around by industry standards. So, a short story collection in a week is wild, but it was fun. We also just decided to lock up the inner critic and see what came out, and that is Dapper Men. 3 tales about a dashing crime scene investigator, which of course the real man in the photo was not connected to the Louvre heist at all, but the internet wanted him to be. So, I’m happy to be one of the people to help make that happen.

Dapper Men is a light, quick read, and intended to be nothing but fun. But if for some inexplicable reason, we do inadvertently solve the Louvre heist case, our services as psychic writing detectives are available at a low fee! We’ll happily take all your case information and write a fictious narrative story! It will innovate policing as we know it!

But seriously, if you are looking for a quick, fun read this week. Check out Dapper Men.

Thanks for being here.

Also this is hot off the press, so if you don’t see your favorite store on the link. Check back, they’ll be there eventually.

Books to Consider

3 Short Stories Inspired by the Louvre Heist Dapper Man photo.

Read Dapper Men Today!

Dark Dragon’s Brutal Decision, the next exciting tale in the sexy, steamy age gap shifter firefighter romance series Company 417 Fireman Shifters!

Read Dark Dragon’s Brutal Decision today!

Imagine if “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” ran off with a Mills & Boon paperback, detoured through Discworld, picked up a battered Lonely Planet from 1998, and tuned in to The Spice Girls on the way.

Read Cyberchicks in Love today!