Jay Nichols's Blog
March 24, 2020
I'm Your Toilet Paper Man or: $22.99 for Premium, High-Quality TP
Let's face it, you're going to need something . . .
Of course, the shower is the safe bet.
And the backyard garden hose is an exhilarating alternative.
Then there's that Third Eye Blind 1997 World Tour shirt collecting dust in the back of your closet . . . okay, I'll admit it, a more fitting end for that shirt cannot be imagined by this author.
And, finally, there's . . . drumroll, please . . . Canis Major, by Jay Nichols!
Yes, for $22.99, you get 587 pages, or 293 sheets, of high-test American paper! Delivered right to your home!
Or, if you'd rather read the story printed on the paper, a free kindle version is available at the link below.
https://www.amazon.com/Canis-Major-Ja...
Of course, the shower is the safe bet.
And the backyard garden hose is an exhilarating alternative.
Then there's that Third Eye Blind 1997 World Tour shirt collecting dust in the back of your closet . . . okay, I'll admit it, a more fitting end for that shirt cannot be imagined by this author.
And, finally, there's . . . drumroll, please . . . Canis Major, by Jay Nichols!
Yes, for $22.99, you get 587 pages, or 293 sheets, of high-test American paper! Delivered right to your home!
Or, if you'd rather read the story printed on the paper, a free kindle version is available at the link below.
https://www.amazon.com/Canis-Major-Ja...
August 10, 2018
Free Kindle Novel - Today Only!
It's been a while since I've done this, but anyway, here's a free novel for you to read this weekend:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...
After seventeen-year-old Russell Whitford confronts and kills a rabid dog, he seeks to prevent the news from reaching the dog's owner, whose hair-trigger temper is well-known in the small town of Riley, Alabama. Russell can count on silence from two of the witnesses who watched him hack Hector Graham's Bloodhound to death, but the third, Michael O'Brien, isn't at all like the other two. His allegiance is not as fixed as Russell would like it to be.
When the Centers for Disease Control arrives in town, and dogs begin running away, and gun shots start ringing out in the dead of night, Russell's summer goes from bad to worse. All he wants is to play his piano and guitar, maybe walk his dog every now and then, not have the weight of the universe hoisted on his shoulders.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...
After seventeen-year-old Russell Whitford confronts and kills a rabid dog, he seeks to prevent the news from reaching the dog's owner, whose hair-trigger temper is well-known in the small town of Riley, Alabama. Russell can count on silence from two of the witnesses who watched him hack Hector Graham's Bloodhound to death, but the third, Michael O'Brien, isn't at all like the other two. His allegiance is not as fixed as Russell would like it to be.
When the Centers for Disease Control arrives in town, and dogs begin running away, and gun shots start ringing out in the dead of night, Russell's summer goes from bad to worse. All he wants is to play his piano and guitar, maybe walk his dog every now and then, not have the weight of the universe hoisted on his shoulders.
February 6, 2016
Free, Just in Time for the Super Bowl!
http://www.amazon.com/Uprising-Jay-Ni...
My little short story is free today and tomorrow. Deciding to make Uprising free on Super Bowl weekend was a no-brainer. What better combination than America's past time (reading) and an activity many Americans don't do enough of (sitting on the couch watching sports on TV)? In the conflict resolution business, it's what we call a win-win!
My little short story is free today and tomorrow. Deciding to make Uprising free on Super Bowl weekend was a no-brainer. What better combination than America's past time (reading) and an activity many Americans don't do enough of (sitting on the couch watching sports on TV)? In the conflict resolution business, it's what we call a win-win!
August 1, 2015
Any Soccer Fans Out There?
For twelve-year-old Jessica Noonan, getting slathered up with Army-grade sunblock in a parking lot before a soccer match is just one indignity she must endure. The taunts and jeers from her teammates are another. Even the adults in the stands get in on the action. All because she's an albino.
http://www.amazon.com/Slathering-Jess...
http://www.amazon.com/Slathering-Jess...
May 16, 2015
Better than The Hunger Games
Bold statement, sure, but do you know of a better way to advertise?
Book of Suburbia is free on Kindle today, May 16th, if you're interested. Here's a snippet:
http://www.amazon.com/Book-Suburbia-J...
Reflected in a rippling pool of gutter water a metal hawk razored across the midday sky, belching a long trailing shriek as she crossed zenith and descended talons-first into her nearby nest on the horizon. The prophet Austin’s shined black loafer described a high arc over the pool and onto the waydrive of a one-story dwelling. Close behind followed his brother in Christ, Chad, though his loafer did crash into the pool-water and split the image of the metal bird asunder.
“Brother Austin,” called out Chad, quickening his pace. “Brother Austin, I regret to inform you of this matter, but I wetted my pant-cuff in the puddle we just traversed.”
“Fear not, Brother Chad,” Austin replied, turning and tugging at Chad’s saturated pant leg, administering to the crease, “for to these earthly eyes it is not noticeable. We wear dark slacks for occurrences such as these. As you know, the elders have prepared us for every possible misfortune we may encounter along our way.”
The prophet Chad lifted his gaze and met Austin’s. “I—I do not wish to misrepresent the Lord. My shoddy garment, I fear, may hinder the fulfillment of our charge.”
Austin lay his palm on Chad’s shoulder and said, “Brother, you merely stepped in gutter water. The Lord will not look unkindly on your mistake. Come along now. Our duty calls.”
Austin and Chad advanced toward the front door, then stopped immediately thence. A fake water sprite in the meadow to their right vomited rain onto the waydrive, thwarting their forward progress. Slowly she arched her back and blew her torrent onto the lush ultragreen grass.
“Now, brother. We go now.”
Austin and Chad hurried over the wet concrete, pulling paper-gospels from their shirt pockets as they went. On the porch, Chad rapped the oaken plank. He smoothed the wrinkles from his shirt, straightened his posture, and constructed his face into a most pleasant visage. Austin did much likewise, but while his brother was making his preparatory groomings, he stepped slightly ahead, into the position of prominence.
After much time, Chad knocked again. Waiting, he coughed into his fist, ran his knuckles over his temples and down the nape of his neck, then flicked the accumulated perspiration from his fingertips to the greeting mat and porch-floor. His thumb he pushed into the bottom of the paper-gospel and constructed a fan for his face.
Noticing the blasphemy, Austin called out, “What do you do, brother? You do not use the Word in such a way! God will smite us if you continue to do that! Here, now, unfold the gospel and set it right.”
Ashamed, Chad looked at Austin sullenly. “You will not tell the elders, will you?” he asked, unbending the slight crease in the paper-gospel and sliding it back into his shirt pocket.
Austin ignored the question, sniffed once, and said rightly, “Henceforth, we shall only discuss matters of the Lord.”
Another metal raptor whirred into sight overhead, straight-shot for its nesting grounds in the pits of the nearby metropolis. Chad looked over Austin’s shoulder at the crying bird. Her body caught the sun, and a silver shard lightninged down, piercing Chad’s eyes.
Book of Suburbia is free on Kindle today, May 16th, if you're interested. Here's a snippet:
http://www.amazon.com/Book-Suburbia-J...
Reflected in a rippling pool of gutter water a metal hawk razored across the midday sky, belching a long trailing shriek as she crossed zenith and descended talons-first into her nearby nest on the horizon. The prophet Austin’s shined black loafer described a high arc over the pool and onto the waydrive of a one-story dwelling. Close behind followed his brother in Christ, Chad, though his loafer did crash into the pool-water and split the image of the metal bird asunder.
“Brother Austin,” called out Chad, quickening his pace. “Brother Austin, I regret to inform you of this matter, but I wetted my pant-cuff in the puddle we just traversed.”
“Fear not, Brother Chad,” Austin replied, turning and tugging at Chad’s saturated pant leg, administering to the crease, “for to these earthly eyes it is not noticeable. We wear dark slacks for occurrences such as these. As you know, the elders have prepared us for every possible misfortune we may encounter along our way.”
The prophet Chad lifted his gaze and met Austin’s. “I—I do not wish to misrepresent the Lord. My shoddy garment, I fear, may hinder the fulfillment of our charge.”
Austin lay his palm on Chad’s shoulder and said, “Brother, you merely stepped in gutter water. The Lord will not look unkindly on your mistake. Come along now. Our duty calls.”
Austin and Chad advanced toward the front door, then stopped immediately thence. A fake water sprite in the meadow to their right vomited rain onto the waydrive, thwarting their forward progress. Slowly she arched her back and blew her torrent onto the lush ultragreen grass.
“Now, brother. We go now.”
Austin and Chad hurried over the wet concrete, pulling paper-gospels from their shirt pockets as they went. On the porch, Chad rapped the oaken plank. He smoothed the wrinkles from his shirt, straightened his posture, and constructed his face into a most pleasant visage. Austin did much likewise, but while his brother was making his preparatory groomings, he stepped slightly ahead, into the position of prominence.
After much time, Chad knocked again. Waiting, he coughed into his fist, ran his knuckles over his temples and down the nape of his neck, then flicked the accumulated perspiration from his fingertips to the greeting mat and porch-floor. His thumb he pushed into the bottom of the paper-gospel and constructed a fan for his face.
Noticing the blasphemy, Austin called out, “What do you do, brother? You do not use the Word in such a way! God will smite us if you continue to do that! Here, now, unfold the gospel and set it right.”
Ashamed, Chad looked at Austin sullenly. “You will not tell the elders, will you?” he asked, unbending the slight crease in the paper-gospel and sliding it back into his shirt pocket.
Austin ignored the question, sniffed once, and said rightly, “Henceforth, we shall only discuss matters of the Lord.”
Another metal raptor whirred into sight overhead, straight-shot for its nesting grounds in the pits of the nearby metropolis. Chad looked over Austin’s shoulder at the crying bird. Her body caught the sun, and a silver shard lightninged down, piercing Chad’s eyes.
April 17, 2015
Who Likes Free Stuff? (I Like Free Stuff!)
One of my short stories, Emily Smiles for April, is free over at Smashwords. Did I mention it was free?
Here's the link and description:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Emily receives a bouquet of violets for her sixteenth birthday. She thinks they remain in a vase on her nightstand, but they keep popping up in the most unusual places.
In a perfect world, this mysterious phenomenon would elicit a bewildered smile from Emily,
but Emily doesn't doesn't smile much anymore. Then again, Emily's world is far from perfect.
Here's the link and description:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Emily receives a bouquet of violets for her sixteenth birthday. She thinks they remain in a vase on her nightstand, but they keep popping up in the most unusual places.
In a perfect world, this mysterious phenomenon would elicit a bewildered smile from Emily,
but Emily doesn't doesn't smile much anymore. Then again, Emily's world is far from perfect.
February 14, 2015
Valentine's Day Got You Down?
Read a free ebook! My short story, Emily Smiles for April, is free today. Get your copy here: http://www.amazon.com/Emily-Smiles-Ap...
Remember: sharing is caring.
Remember: sharing is caring.
October 1, 2014
Of Bible Beaters and Smart Phones
Free kindle short story, today and tomorrow:
In the distant future, the Holy Bible is amended with stories set in twenty-first century America. Book of Suburbia is one of them.
Two young prophets, Austin and Chad, are traveling door-to-door, evangelizing on a quiet Saturday afternoon. When they come upon the house of a deranged insomniac, things get uncomfortable real quick.
http://www.amazon.com/Book-Suburbia-J...
In the distant future, the Holy Bible is amended with stories set in twenty-first century America. Book of Suburbia is one of them.
Two young prophets, Austin and Chad, are traveling door-to-door, evangelizing on a quiet Saturday afternoon. When they come upon the house of a deranged insomniac, things get uncomfortable real quick.
http://www.amazon.com/Book-Suburbia-J...
August 11, 2014
Perseid Meteor Shower Tonight
Put your book down, go outside, look up, and behold. The annual Perseid meteor shower is at its peak tonight around 2 AM. Weather permitting, you should get a pretty good show. And don't try to take pictures with your phone, either. Just enjoy what you see, uncaptured. In life, it's the briefest of moments, like when Earth and dust collide, that you'll remember most.
http://www.amazon.com/Canis-Major-Jay...
http://www.amazon.com/Canis-Major-Jay...
July 29, 2014
Canis Major will be Free August 1-5
My debut novel Canis Major will be free the first five days of August. You can catch it here:
http://www.amazon.com/Canis-Major-Jay...
Fair warning: This is a loooong novel. The payoff is worth it, though. You will never read anything quite like it.
That's all.
Jay
http://www.amazon.com/Canis-Major-Jay...
Fair warning: This is a loooong novel. The payoff is worth it, though. You will never read anything quite like it.
That's all.
Jay
