Jenn Sadai's Blog
April 15, 2020
SPREADING HOPE
Crept in slowly, no one noticing the threat.
Ungodly gift, passed to anyone you've met.
An invisible foe, weaving place to place.
Devastation ramping, at an infectious pace.
Warning bells resonating loud, awoken we stood.
Forced to divide physically, for the greater good.
New rules set; sacrifice now to live tomorrow.
Must act fast, halt the spread of more sorrow.
When the sun rose again, the streets were clear.
Most the modern world, pushed indoors by fear.
No one left wandering, aimlessly in sight.
Monotony quickly blending mornings into night.
An easy burden for those tucked safely at home.
Not for the essential souls wrapped in prayers alone.
Hospitals, all hands on deck, stepping forth to fight.
Bright minds, huge hearts, doing what is right.
Courage from the underpaid with services required.
Leaps beyond the skills, for which they were ever hired.
In harm's way daily, performing jobs with so few perks.
Risks meant only for superheroes, not local store clerks.
Unexpected uncertainty, roaming fierce and free.
The battle has just begun and consistency's the key.
Doctors, nurses, support workers facing it head on.
If we each play our role, we'll still see another dawn.
Earth is begging for a break, humanity lost its way.
Now we're tasked to fix it and earn our right to stay.
Be grateful for the givers and those on the front-line.
Patiently pray for their safe, this is not a time to whine.
Enjoy a break from the chaos, for those of us who can.
We can win this wild war, if we each stick to the plan.
Only the light can wash away, this darkness in the air.
Beaming together, separately, spreading sincere care.
Love, Jenn
Ungodly gift, passed to anyone you've met.
An invisible foe, weaving place to place.
Devastation ramping, at an infectious pace.
Warning bells resonating loud, awoken we stood.
Forced to divide physically, for the greater good.
New rules set; sacrifice now to live tomorrow.
Must act fast, halt the spread of more sorrow.
When the sun rose again, the streets were clear.
Most the modern world, pushed indoors by fear.
No one left wandering, aimlessly in sight.
Monotony quickly blending mornings into night.
An easy burden for those tucked safely at home.
Not for the essential souls wrapped in prayers alone.
Hospitals, all hands on deck, stepping forth to fight.
Bright minds, huge hearts, doing what is right.
Courage from the underpaid with services required.
Leaps beyond the skills, for which they were ever hired.
In harm's way daily, performing jobs with so few perks.
Risks meant only for superheroes, not local store clerks.
Unexpected uncertainty, roaming fierce and free.
The battle has just begun and consistency's the key.
Doctors, nurses, support workers facing it head on.
If we each play our role, we'll still see another dawn.
Earth is begging for a break, humanity lost its way.
Now we're tasked to fix it and earn our right to stay.
Be grateful for the givers and those on the front-line.
Patiently pray for their safe, this is not a time to whine.
Enjoy a break from the chaos, for those of us who can.
We can win this wild war, if we each stick to the plan.
Only the light can wash away, this darkness in the air.
Beaming together, separately, spreading sincere care.
Love, Jenn
April 24, 2019
I AM
I write poetry to build myself up...
Oversharing everything.
I'm honest to a fault.
Negative energy blasting.
Pushover, I am not.
Fabulously flawed.
Owning my mistakes.
Encouraging the underdog.
Weeding out the fakes.
Loved and supported.
Occasionally, quite hated.
Good and bad unsorted.
Confidence never deflated.
Far from being perfect.
Perfectly happy with myself.
Not what you'd expect.
Yet, my intention is to help.
Love me or leave me.
I'll stand tall either way.
I am who I want to be.
No matter what you say.
Oversharing everything.
I'm honest to a fault.
Negative energy blasting.
Pushover, I am not.
Fabulously flawed.
Owning my mistakes.
Encouraging the underdog.
Weeding out the fakes.
Loved and supported.
Occasionally, quite hated.
Good and bad unsorted.
Confidence never deflated.
Far from being perfect.
Perfectly happy with myself.
Not what you'd expect.
Yet, my intention is to help.
Love me or leave me.
I'll stand tall either way.
I am who I want to be.
No matter what you say.
December 18, 2018
Listen to Your Critics!
Ever shutdown during a conversation because the other person is telling you something you DON'T want to hear?
I had that urge while I was talking to a sweet, helpful woman last week. I sent my sixth book to several readers/writers, because I was lacking my usual confidence. Two publishers raved about it, but a trusted friend felt it was a little slow. I was so eager to move forward that I almost signed the contract before getting feedback from the final beta reader, even though I wasn't certain it was the best it could be.
I couldn't squash my doubts despite my best efforts, so it shouldn't have came as a shock when the final reader wasn't as impressed by it. I could tell she was trying to break the news to me gently. I zoned out when she pointed out the lack of emotion in my storytelling and that it was missing essential elements designed to entice the reader. It was hard to hear and I caught myself tuning her out.
That's a natural response to negative feedback, however it's highly unproductive. I forced myself to listen, because I knew she wasn't trying to bring me down. She was trying to bring out the best in me. Her points were not only valid, but incredibly helpful. There were aspects of my book that I could easily improve on, as well as issues with the story structure that needed fixing.
The method I was using to judge the quality of my writing was broken. I relied heavily on encouragers and avoided critics, which was necessary for me to push forward with confidence as a new writer. However, in order to take my writing to the next level, I need to listen to negative feedback.
I truly believe that magic happens when we break from the ordinary. We can't advance ourselves or society by always doing what was always done. Growth starts with uncomfortable conversations that break down our way of thinking in search of a better way.
I spent over 12 hours this past weekend editing and enhancing my book. Thanks to her thorough comments on the areas that were lacking, my sixth book will be my best book so far.
I'm finally ready to move forward with Her Beauty Burns!
I had that urge while I was talking to a sweet, helpful woman last week. I sent my sixth book to several readers/writers, because I was lacking my usual confidence. Two publishers raved about it, but a trusted friend felt it was a little slow. I was so eager to move forward that I almost signed the contract before getting feedback from the final beta reader, even though I wasn't certain it was the best it could be.
I couldn't squash my doubts despite my best efforts, so it shouldn't have came as a shock when the final reader wasn't as impressed by it. I could tell she was trying to break the news to me gently. I zoned out when she pointed out the lack of emotion in my storytelling and that it was missing essential elements designed to entice the reader. It was hard to hear and I caught myself tuning her out.
That's a natural response to negative feedback, however it's highly unproductive. I forced myself to listen, because I knew she wasn't trying to bring me down. She was trying to bring out the best in me. Her points were not only valid, but incredibly helpful. There were aspects of my book that I could easily improve on, as well as issues with the story structure that needed fixing.
The method I was using to judge the quality of my writing was broken. I relied heavily on encouragers and avoided critics, which was necessary for me to push forward with confidence as a new writer. However, in order to take my writing to the next level, I need to listen to negative feedback.
I truly believe that magic happens when we break from the ordinary. We can't advance ourselves or society by always doing what was always done. Growth starts with uncomfortable conversations that break down our way of thinking in search of a better way.
I spent over 12 hours this past weekend editing and enhancing my book. Thanks to her thorough comments on the areas that were lacking, my sixth book will be my best book so far.
I'm finally ready to move forward with Her Beauty Burns!
August 10, 2018
Truth Time!
The truth about being an author and why I'm a shitty salesperson.
This will sound unbelievable, but money does not determine my success. If I viewed the last 5 years of chasing my author dream in terms of dollars and cents, I'd be a failure. In 4-1/2 years, I've profited around $5,000. I don't keep track of the money and reinvest everything I make off of my books into promoting myself. I have a great day job that more than covers my bills, so I can focus on my dream without worrying about profitability.
That's also why I'm a shitty salesperson. I could be more aggressive or at the very least, follow-up with people who've shown interest in buying my books. However, I don't chase sales intentionally. I only want readers who genuinely want to read my books. That's what generates positive reviews and referrals.
The odds of becoming successful enough as an author to live off your books alone is less than 5%. There are millions and millions of authors, approximately 130,000,000 published books in the marketplace and over one million new books released each year. I would need to sell over 50,000 books per year to live off of them. I've sold around 1,400 books in 4-1/2 years.
I'm a realistic dreamer. I went all in at first and was writing from home full time, but quickly realized that I couldn't support myself with this venture. So, I created a long term plan. I worked with an investment expert to figure out what I would need to save, so I could retire at 50 and pursue this full time.
I have a little more than 10 years left to grow my followers, gain worldwide exposure and write many more empowering books for women. In the meantime, I'm motivated by the women who gain value from reading my stories, the positive book reviews I receive and the fact that each year I sell more books than the one prior.
I will be a famous author one day. Take note, it's no joke, I will be part of that elite 5%. I honestly believe I'm good enough to be great and won't stop until my books are in every store in every country. I know this is a marathon not a sprint, and I'm prepared to go the distance.
Thank you for taking the time to get to know me better.
This will sound unbelievable, but money does not determine my success. If I viewed the last 5 years of chasing my author dream in terms of dollars and cents, I'd be a failure. In 4-1/2 years, I've profited around $5,000. I don't keep track of the money and reinvest everything I make off of my books into promoting myself. I have a great day job that more than covers my bills, so I can focus on my dream without worrying about profitability.
That's also why I'm a shitty salesperson. I could be more aggressive or at the very least, follow-up with people who've shown interest in buying my books. However, I don't chase sales intentionally. I only want readers who genuinely want to read my books. That's what generates positive reviews and referrals.
The odds of becoming successful enough as an author to live off your books alone is less than 5%. There are millions and millions of authors, approximately 130,000,000 published books in the marketplace and over one million new books released each year. I would need to sell over 50,000 books per year to live off of them. I've sold around 1,400 books in 4-1/2 years.
I'm a realistic dreamer. I went all in at first and was writing from home full time, but quickly realized that I couldn't support myself with this venture. So, I created a long term plan. I worked with an investment expert to figure out what I would need to save, so I could retire at 50 and pursue this full time.
I have a little more than 10 years left to grow my followers, gain worldwide exposure and write many more empowering books for women. In the meantime, I'm motivated by the women who gain value from reading my stories, the positive book reviews I receive and the fact that each year I sell more books than the one prior.
I will be a famous author one day. Take note, it's no joke, I will be part of that elite 5%. I honestly believe I'm good enough to be great and won't stop until my books are in every store in every country. I know this is a marathon not a sprint, and I'm prepared to go the distance.
Thank you for taking the time to get to know me better.
May 12, 2018
Women Ready to Rise
Although I'm only 35% done my 6th book, Her Beauty Burns, it's time to start planning #7, Women Ready to Rise. In the same fashion as No Kids Required, I will be interviewing 20 remarkable women who've overcome tough challenges and turned their pain into their purpose. I've selected four women so far, but am now reaching out for more.
If you have a powerful story of conquering something life changing to achieve something extraordinary, please send me a DM about what challenges you faced and how you used them to do more with your life.
If selected, it will be a matter of answering 12-15 questions with possibly a few follow-up questions. I will send everyone the questions this summer and don't need the responses until January.
I look forward to hearing your inspiring stories and hopefully sharing them with the world. Sincerely, Jenn
If you have a powerful story of conquering something life changing to achieve something extraordinary, please send me a DM about what challenges you faced and how you used them to do more with your life.
If selected, it will be a matter of answering 12-15 questions with possibly a few follow-up questions. I will send everyone the questions this summer and don't need the responses until January.
I look forward to hearing your inspiring stories and hopefully sharing them with the world. Sincerely, Jenn
January 19, 2018
This Bird is Free
This was the first poem I wrote when I started writing again. Reading it empowers me to continue.
I am no one’s punching bag; no one’s second choice.
I am stronger than your gag; you will hear my voice.
I refuse to drown in your rain; my skin craves sunlight.
I won’t be shackled to your pain; I’m breaking out tonight.
You tried to smother me with self-doubt.
Tried to twist and turn me inside out.
Your foolish games were no match for me.
I won’t be held down. This bird is free.
No cage can hold me in; steel bars aren’t strong enough.
I’m a survivor and this life has made me tough.
I can’t be shaken; just watch me stand my ground.
Take your best shot; you will not knock me down.
Your hands are powerless; your words no longer sting.
I won’t suffer in silence; this bird was meant to sing.
Only I can let you hurt me and I’m choosing to be free.
Jenn Sadai, Dark Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman
Dark Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman
I am no one’s punching bag; no one’s second choice.
I am stronger than your gag; you will hear my voice.
I refuse to drown in your rain; my skin craves sunlight.
I won’t be shackled to your pain; I’m breaking out tonight.
You tried to smother me with self-doubt.
Tried to twist and turn me inside out.
Your foolish games were no match for me.
I won’t be held down. This bird is free.
No cage can hold me in; steel bars aren’t strong enough.
I’m a survivor and this life has made me tough.
I can’t be shaken; just watch me stand my ground.
Take your best shot; you will not knock me down.
Your hands are powerless; your words no longer sting.
I won’t suffer in silence; this bird was meant to sing.
Only I can let you hurt me and I’m choosing to be free.
Jenn Sadai, Dark Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman
Dark Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman
November 14, 2017
No Kids Required - Participant Response
The sensitive nature of No Kids Required created a knot in my belly that I was struggling to shake. All of my books are risky and filled with deeply personal details, but motherhood and choosing not to be a mother is an incredibly touchy subject.
I'm almost finished writing the book, so I sent the current draft to the participants with a few additional questions I needed to complete the story.
This is the first response I received;
"I have started to read this and simply cannot stop. I have not completed the reading but will do so and also answer your additional questions and do have something in mind to write for you to include as requested.
What I can say so far is that this is your best piece yet!!! This is so amazing, so heartfelt, passionate and real and full of compassion. This is going to help EVERY MOTHER and/or NON-MOTHER in the WORLD!!! This is truly exceptional Jenn!!! I am so very proud of you for sharing your story in this piece and am once again, inspired and so empowered by you!!! Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity!!!"
I'm definitely feeling better about it now!
I'm almost finished writing the book, so I sent the current draft to the participants with a few additional questions I needed to complete the story.
This is the first response I received;
"I have started to read this and simply cannot stop. I have not completed the reading but will do so and also answer your additional questions and do have something in mind to write for you to include as requested.
What I can say so far is that this is your best piece yet!!! This is so amazing, so heartfelt, passionate and real and full of compassion. This is going to help EVERY MOTHER and/or NON-MOTHER in the WORLD!!! This is truly exceptional Jenn!!! I am so very proud of you for sharing your story in this piece and am once again, inspired and so empowered by you!!! Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity!!!"
I'm definitely feeling better about it now!
October 13, 2017
I Will Finish!
On Sunday, I will finish my 6th half marathon! I usually use the word "attempt" instead of "finish," because there's no real guarantee I will cross the finish line. Although I've already finished two full marathons and five half marathons, 21 kilometers is an impressive distance and anything can happen along the way. It's been two years since I made it 21 kms.
I won't even entertain the idea of not finishing. I believe a positive attitude brings positive results. I'm confident I have the drive and determination to push myself to the end regardless of how my body reacts. I've invested time and money into this goal and once I set my mind on something, I do whatever it takes to succeed.
Although I've had several successfully training runs and managed to make it 18 kilometers a few weeks ago, I'm not in tiptop condition. My pace is slower, my knees hurt and the weather is supposed to be humid and rainy. It's highly unlikely my finishing time will be a personal best. My personal best was 2 hours, 38 minutes, from five years ago. I'm aiming for under 3 hours on Sunday and even that might not happen.
So...why am I doing this again?
I've been wondering that since I signed up in January. In Cottage Cheese Thighs, I claimed the last half marathon I did with my mom would be my last. Every year I say it's my last. It's a huge commitment and it gets harder each year because unfortunately, my body isn't getting any younger.
So, why?
Nostalgia was the reason I signed up. I was looking at past finish line photos and wanted to experience it again. Ego inspired me to train, since if I'm going to go through with it, I want to finish with a time that makes me proud. Stubbornness kept me motivated, because I refuse to be a quitter.
Now, nostalgia, ego and stubbornness are sometimes negative emotions that can cause more problems than good. I'm not promoting these as acceptable reasons to finish a marathon. I'm just being honest as to what got me into this mess.
The reasons don't matter as much as the results. I know how amazing it feels to achieve a tough goal. Even though I don't have the best motives, I'm certain the experience will be worth it. There's an incredible rush of pride when you cross a finish line. The confidence I've gained over the last few years was built on completing challenges despite all obstacles. Sunday will prove I still have what it takes to beat the odds and rise to the occasion.
That's why I'll be "finishing" my 6th half marathon on Sunday.
I won't even entertain the idea of not finishing. I believe a positive attitude brings positive results. I'm confident I have the drive and determination to push myself to the end regardless of how my body reacts. I've invested time and money into this goal and once I set my mind on something, I do whatever it takes to succeed.
Although I've had several successfully training runs and managed to make it 18 kilometers a few weeks ago, I'm not in tiptop condition. My pace is slower, my knees hurt and the weather is supposed to be humid and rainy. It's highly unlikely my finishing time will be a personal best. My personal best was 2 hours, 38 minutes, from five years ago. I'm aiming for under 3 hours on Sunday and even that might not happen.
So...why am I doing this again?
I've been wondering that since I signed up in January. In Cottage Cheese Thighs, I claimed the last half marathon I did with my mom would be my last. Every year I say it's my last. It's a huge commitment and it gets harder each year because unfortunately, my body isn't getting any younger.
So, why?
Nostalgia was the reason I signed up. I was looking at past finish line photos and wanted to experience it again. Ego inspired me to train, since if I'm going to go through with it, I want to finish with a time that makes me proud. Stubbornness kept me motivated, because I refuse to be a quitter.
Now, nostalgia, ego and stubbornness are sometimes negative emotions that can cause more problems than good. I'm not promoting these as acceptable reasons to finish a marathon. I'm just being honest as to what got me into this mess.
The reasons don't matter as much as the results. I know how amazing it feels to achieve a tough goal. Even though I don't have the best motives, I'm certain the experience will be worth it. There's an incredible rush of pride when you cross a finish line. The confidence I've gained over the last few years was built on completing challenges despite all obstacles. Sunday will prove I still have what it takes to beat the odds and rise to the occasion.
That's why I'll be "finishing" my 6th half marathon on Sunday.
September 13, 2017
No More Secrets Left
I think I have the courage to confess my last and most shocking secret from my past. Originally, I was going to hide my decision under an alias. I interviewed 20 women for the book and 18 of them chose to use an alias, including the two who admitted to making the same cringe-worthy choice.
It's an important issue that I'm addressing in No Kids Required and I want to be a voice for women who made the same decision I did. My goal is to showcase the human aspect behind a very controversial topic, so people won't judge women so harshly for it. I can't use an alias and still prove it's not shameful.
I confessed to drug use, petty crimes and workplace blunders in my first two books. I exposed my dimply thighs on the cover of Cottage Cheese Thighs. I tweet every random thought that comes into my head and this is the only real secret I have left. I encourage others to live without fear of judgement and I must practice what I preach. There's no backing down now.
Hopefully my mom still loves me once the book is released.
It's an important issue that I'm addressing in No Kids Required and I want to be a voice for women who made the same decision I did. My goal is to showcase the human aspect behind a very controversial topic, so people won't judge women so harshly for it. I can't use an alias and still prove it's not shameful.
I confessed to drug use, petty crimes and workplace blunders in my first two books. I exposed my dimply thighs on the cover of Cottage Cheese Thighs. I tweet every random thought that comes into my head and this is the only real secret I have left. I encourage others to live without fear of judgement and I must practice what I preach. There's no backing down now.
Hopefully my mom still loves me once the book is released.
July 20, 2017
Author Jenn Sadai Photo Contest!
Who's reading Jenn Sadai?
Post a picture of you reading one of my books for the chance to win TWO signed copies of your choice! Please tag "Jenn Sadai" in the post or post in on my Dark Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman page.
Jenn Sadaihttps://www.facebook.com/Darkconfessi...
I'm looking for creative images showing how far this book has traveled or the impact it's had on you! Right now, Jo Carter's picture of Her Own Hero in Australia is the front runner. I'll pick the winning photo Aug 31st. The winner can pick any two of my books and I'll mail the signed copies anywhere in the world.
Post a picture of you reading one of my books for the chance to win TWO signed copies of your choice! Please tag "Jenn Sadai" in the post or post in on my Dark Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman page.
Jenn Sadaihttps://www.facebook.com/Darkconfessi...
I'm looking for creative images showing how far this book has traveled or the impact it's had on you! Right now, Jo Carter's picture of Her Own Hero in Australia is the front runner. I'll pick the winning photo Aug 31st. The winner can pick any two of my books and I'll mail the signed copies anywhere in the world.
