Daniel F. Parmeggiani's Blog

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We hear it all the time, that catch-all spiritual cliché that’s supposed to provide consolation when things go terribly wrong in our lives: “I know it sucks that your home just went up in flames, but everything happens for a reason, and things will work out in the end.” “Sorry you got fired, but you know that everything happens for a reason and for your highest good .” “I know you don’t see this illness as a positive right now, but…” When we hear this, we just nod in agreement because we think we’re supposed to (Even if we’re really thinking, “Hmmm yeah, so what’s your point?”). After all, we’re spiritually conscious people and it seems to be part of the job description to accept these words as unquestionable fact. But are they, and if so, why?

If you have read my blog before, I’m sure you have figured out that I like to get to the bottom of things. Spiritual concepts need to make complete sense to us or else they lose their healing, transformative power. So let’s figure this out together. Does everything really happen for a reason?

When our well-meaning friends and relatives blurt out the phrase in question, their intention is to help us find closure and acceptance. They’re definitely on the right track, because acceptance of any situation brings inner peace, relief, healing, and the ability to move on, and that is exactly the outcome we want. But the main problem I have with this statement is how ambiguous and empty it is on its own. Most people take the words to mean that even though things may suck right now, you will be better off in the end, even if right now you can’t imagine how. Of course we would like to believe this, but in the face of crippling tragedy or terminal illness, how much do these tired words really help? To be of any real use, the statement in question needs to be redefined and explained.

Let me offer a more helpful, more meaningful statement:

Everything that happens is part of your spiritual path to self-discovery

When unwelcome things happen to us, it really helps to remind ourselves of the big picture. We are eternal spiritual beings, and our physical lives are temporary chapters, the details of which will soon be forgotten. Only the lessons learned will remain in our essence. Only the loving connections we made with others will endure. We are here to learn who we really are, and everything that happens is but an opportunity to awaken more to our true identity.

So does everything really happen for a reason? Well, yes, but not really in the way we usually think. Things do not necessarily conspire so that if we get fired today it is because our dream job awaits just around the corner. When something unwelcome happens, we may never see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that we envision. Instead, what is really happening is our gradual, often painful awakening to who we really are.

The fact is that bad things are going to happen in our lives and there is just no way around that. At one point or another, our plans will fail, our concepts of how things should be will be disappointed, and tragedies will happen. Eventually, we will lose our youth and our good looks. We will lose our health, we will lose our loved ones, and in the end, we will lose it all in death. We cannot prevent these things from happening, but what we can do is change the way we interpret what happens.

What happens to you doesn’t really matter. Only how you interpret it matters.

When things are taken away from you – your possessions, your health, your wealth, your current identity – the clue is always the same: You are not these temporary, arbitrary things. In those agonizing experiences lie incredibly rewarding opportunities to know that what you really are is undiminished and untarnished no matter what may happen in this temporary setting.

But our lessons do not always have to be painful. When we witness an act of true love and it stirs something within us, we are remembering who we really are. When we establish a deep bond with someone that transcends our physical deaths, we are awakening to our true self. When we feel deep reverence for life in all its forms, we are discovering our true essence.

The true, lasting happiness and inner peace we all long for requires that we be OK no matter what happens in our lives. The only way is to awaken from the dream and see all this as what it really is: a temporary drama that cannot possibly harm your true eternal spiritual identity.

We are here to discover who we really are, and it is only in this discovery that we can find the absolute safety and well-being our souls long for. This discovery is enlightenment, the deep awareness that we are all eternally safe, unconditionally worthy, infinitely lovable, completely connected, and that everything is exactly as it needs to be. So yes, everything does indeed happen for a reason. Everything is trying to show us how magnificent we really are, and all we need to do is open our eyes and embrace the awesome truth.

The Truth will set you free, and every single event in our lives is a piece of the puzzle that leads us ever closer to that Truth. In my internationally bestselling book, The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence, I lead you, step by step, to the discovery of your own true, magnificent self. Click here to receive great bonus gifts to go along with your purchase.

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Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

Daniel Parmeggiani

November 11, 2014

The post Does everything really happen for a reason? appeared first on Magnificient Truth.

Bestselling author Daniel Parmeggiani shares spiritual lessons gained from his years of stock trading.

As some of you may already know, my “day job” is trading stocks from my home. This is something I’ve been doing very successfully for 15 years now, ever since I quit a pretty decent 9 to 5 job as a computer systems consultant back in 1998. My motivation was the desire for total freedom – financial freedom, freedom from a boss, freedom to travel as I pleased, freedom to wear my pajamas all day if I wanted to. During the past 15 years I’ve been rewarded with all of the above and much more. I have traded from 15 different countries, from 33 thousand feet in the air, and even from a cruise ship. Everyday is a new challenge and I look forward to Monday mornings. My “commute” is 50 feet with no traffic and I do indeed get to stay in my jammies. One of the rewards, however, was completely unexpected: To my amazement, I found day-trading to be an intense spiritual practice.

When I first ventured into the stock market, I feared that it might lead me astray into a world of greed and materialism. Instead, I found in trading an excellent Zen-like teacher of NOW presence. I quickly realized that to be successful as a trader in the stock market, it is vital to constantly let go of the past. This means accepting and forgetting bad trades as quickly as possible, so that the next trade can be approached with a clear mind, focusing only on the present rather than dwelling on previous mistakes.

This is easier said than done, of course. As any professional trader will tell you, after losing money, there is always an overwhelming desire to “right the wrong” and make back the money as quickly as possible, usually by taking a huge gamble on the very same stock that just kicked your butt. With this impulsive, irrational response, the trader attempts to kill two birds with one stone. He hopes to make back the money and erase the painful loss, while taking revenge on the stock that betrayed him.

Nine times out of ten, following this desperate course of action leads to an even bigger loss. By focusing on reversing the past instead of accepting that it already happened and working with what the new moment brings, the angry, resentful trader ignores present reality and forces an ill-advised, risky trade. Unless this self-destructive pattern is broken, he will go broke before he knows it.

From trading I learned patience, self-control, humility, detachment, NOW presence and self-forgiveness. Trading presents one challenge after another, and it quickly teaches you what approach and attitude works and what doesn’t.

But what’s really interesting is that these lessons apply to anything one might encounter in our lives.

It all boils down to the QUESTIONS WE ASK when something goes wrong. All too often, when something undesirable happens, we react with something like:

Dis-empowering questions/attitudes:

Why is this happening to me?
This can’t be happening!
I don’t deserve this!
What is wrong with me?
How could they do this to me?
What did I do to deserve this!
Why does this always happen to me?
You’ve got to be f’ing kidding me!
I must be cursed!
This shouldn’t be happening!

The best and fastest way to turn your life around is to replace these kind of negative, dis-empowering reactions with a new set of questions and attitudes that will empower you to cope with your current situation to the best of your ability. Consider these instead:

Empowering questions/attitudes:

“What needs to be done right now?”
“How can I turn this into a positive?”
“Which new opportunities are now present?”
“How can I make this better?”

And if nothing can be done,

“What can I learn from this?” And
“How does this serve mine or others people’s greater good?”

The fact of the matter is that if something already is, the only rational and constructive thing to do is to accept and deal with the reality.

In essence, to best deal with life’s challenges, there are 3 rules:

Quit denying or resisting your current reality. It already IS. Acknowledge it and OWN IT.
Work WITH, rather than AGAINST, whatever you encounter on your path.
Perceive everything that happens as a necessary step in your spiritual path, and find the LESSON or OPPORTUNITY that’s being presented.

These rules and attitudes work in the stock market, and they work in our everyday lives. They also represent part of what it means to be a spiritually conscious being: Releasing the past, non-resistance of the present moment, and working with whatever life brings.

Replacing our negative attitudes and beliefs with more positive and uplifting thoughts is a crucial step in our path to real happiness and inner peace. My internationally bestselling book, The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence, can help you reinterpret your current reality and transform the way you perceive yourself and your world.. Click here to receive great bonus gifts to go along with your purchase.

Like this blog?

Then please subscribe using the form at the upper right side of this page, so you can receive each new article straight to your inbox.

Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

Daniel Parmeggiani

19th August 2014

The post How To Deal With Life’s Challenges appeared first on Magnificient Truth.

 

Author Daniel Parmeggiani reflects on the progress that we humans have made in how we treat one another and suggests we are well on the way to ‘heaven on earth’.

During our just concluded vacation in Greece, I read a great book called A Little History of The World, by E.H. Gombrich. Now, I’m not a history buff by any means (my ideal stay in a museum does not exceed 30 minutes!) but for this little book, I had all the time in the world because it explained human history in a way I’d never seen it explained before. Rather than focusing on dates, names and cold facts, it told about what people believed in the past and what was important to them. It explained, in an interesting, accessible way, how we got from the caveman days to where we are today, not just in terms of science and technology, but also how we see ourselves and the world.

I always wanted to find a book like that, which told me, in a nutshell, what I really needed to know about our history on this planet. But more than gaining a mental primer that would help me make sense of ancient Greek ruins, I also saw something else:

We really are evolving, and in many more ways than we think.

Everyone is well aware of the obvious ways in which we’ve evolved – math, science, more sophistication, less body hair… but what’s not so obvious is the answer to the big question:

Are we, as a species, progressing in the things that really matter?

More specifically, are we treating each other better? Are we closer to real tolerance, peace on Earth, true equality and lasting happiness? Are we awakening to who we really are? Are we figuring out why we’re really here? Are we learning to respect our planet and appreciate life in all its forms? In short, are we evolving not just physically and materially, but spiritually as well?

When we look around, it would appear as if we’re more destructive than we’ve ever been. Never before have we polluted the planet to such a degree. Never before have we depleted the oceans and destroyed the life-giving forests to such an extent, driven so many species to extinction, and been so cruel to the animals we raise for consumption. Never before has the world been on the verge of nuclear devastation and perhaps even the end of the human race.

While it is true that we are far more destructive now than we’ve ever been it’s not human nature that’s to blame. The real reason we have become a cancer on this planet is our greatly increased power and control over the physical world. With this great power comes great responsibility, and I believe we’re at a stage where our rapid increase in power is outpacing our ability to handle it.

Still, if we look at human history, we find that rather than getting worse, we are getting better. When we look at today’s Muslim terrorists and their fanatical beliefs that all non-believers of the Koran must be converted or killed, we see them as inhuman. What we fail to realize is that when we look at them, we are also looking at ourselves, because that is how we all were only a few hundred years ago. Not too long ago, we burned witches alive at the stake, and did the same to non-believers of Christianity during the Inquisition. Think of what we did here at home to the American Indians and African slaves. Are we still capable of something like that today, given our improved laws and more evolved respect for the rights of others? Could you imagine what would have happened if Attila the Hun or Napoleon had access to nuclear weapons? I think it actually speaks volumes about humanity’s progress that we haven’t used more such weapons since Hiroshima and Nagasaki and completely self-destructed. Could there possibly be another Holocaust in this day and age, with our increased awareness of the equality of all human races?

Knowledge without wisdom invariably leads to destruction. But our wisdom is slowly expanding, because just as we’ve never been more destructive, we’ve also never been more interested in knowing the truth of who we really are. In time, slowly but surely, we will become aware that we are all truly equal, that we all share the same basic needs and the same deep longing for love and lasting peace and happiness. Increasingly, we will see ourselves as more, much more than these temporary bodies and personalities. We will perceive ourselves as the innocent, eternal, unlimited and unconditionally worthy spiritual beings that we really are. And through this process, we will continue to witness the massive changes that are already taking place. The spiritual sections of our book stores will continue to expand. Practices such as vegetarianism, yoga, holistic medicine, and meditation will keep gaining momentum.  Tolerance and acceptance of new ideas will continue to grow. The pockets of society that abuse and discriminate will continue to shrink.

Galileo almost paid with his life for contradicting the Bible by voicing his opinion that the Earth circled the sun and not the other way around. And yet here I am today writing whatever I please on a public blog without any fear of persecution. Yes, we are progressing, but sometimes, we need to stand back and look at the big picture to actually see the changes that are taking place. It can be hard to spot sometimes and the path is never a straight line. But through the centuries, humanity has steadily awakened and will continue to do so, for it is our destiny to eventually figure this whole thing out and match our great knowledge and power with great wisdom. Then, and only then, will the “Golden Age” come about, and we will finally find the Heaven on Earth we all long for.

Becoming more aware of our collective spiritual journey is an important step towards perceiving the world in a more uplifting manner. My internationally bestselling book, The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence, can help you discover how everything that ever happens is a step in the right direction, not just for humanity as a whole, but for each and every one of us. Click here to receive great bonus gifts to go along with your purchase.

Like this blog?

Then please subscribe using the form at the upper right side of this page, so you can receive each new article straight to your inbox.

Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

Daniel Parmeggiani

14th July 2014

The post Humanity’s Spiritual Evolution appeared first on Magnificient Truth.

Author Daniel Parmeggiani explains how mental and spiritual suffering come down to a lack of self-acceptance, connection, meaning, fairness, and safety.  

Our own negative thoughts can make our lives a living hell. I was in that situation growing up, and my inner prison became so tortuous that I simply couldn’t live with myself any longer.

Things got so bad that I became obsessed with one question and one question only:  What does it take to end this suffering and find true, lasting happiness? I wanted the truth, I needed the truth, and eventually, I was able to confirm that it’s no joke:

The truth shall indeed, set you free.

The truth that I found was magnificent and freed me from my mental prison. I now feel blessed for the opportunity to share what I learned, and today I want to share the true causes of our suffering.

First of all, I should point out that suffering does not come naturally to us. Of course, I’m referring not to physical suffering or pain but to the psychological and spiritual suffering that creates our inner hells. I say it doesn’t come naturally to us because as any small healthy child will exemplify, when our mental slate is clean we are naturally happy, peaceful and loving beings. For these few precious years, our minds lack any negative thoughts or beliefs about ourselves and our world, and we get a taste of the inner heaven we all long for.

So what happens to us that takes away that happiness? Why does our inner heaven so often turn into an inner hell? As I meditated on these questions, I identified 5 common areas in which we lose our sense of harmony as we grow older. As I pointed out in my last post, happiness is the perception of harmony in our lives, while suffering is the perception of disharmony.

The 5 causes of suffering

1)      Lack of self-acceptance

As small children, we do not question their self-worth. We never wonder if we’re good or bad, guilty or innocent, worthy or unworthy, complete or incomplete, a success or a failure. Our minds ignore even the possibility that there could be something wrong with us as beings, and we are totally at ease with ourselves. As we grow up, this state of pure being is then replaced with self-doubt and the constant need to prove ourselves worthy of our own self-approval.

2)      Lack of connection

We all share a deep longing for true connection with others. Like the cells in our bodies, we need to feel as if we are an integral part of something greater than ourselves, part of a whole, and not just isolated, separate fragments. We need to love and be loved, and as small children, we have total harmony in this area. We feel a complete bond with our parents and sense their unconditional love. Have you ever been approached by a 2-year old you’ve never met? They are totally open and transparent, with no fear of rejection, no judgment, nothing but a big smile on their face. Later, we all know what happens – we put our guard up, hide our true selves, and find it very hard to truly connect with each other and find that unconditional love we hunger for.

3)      Lack of meaning

The world, as viewed through a child’s eyes, is filled with wonder and meaning. Everything around them is a mystery to be discovered. Every experience, every touch, every sound, every new sight is an amazing experience all of its own. Unfortunately, we lose that deep sense of meaning as we grow older, as our magical new world of discovery is replaced by the cold, hard facts we learn in school. We also become exposed to our dry, scientific, materialistic world-view where there is no real meaning to be found. As life loses its mystery, wonder and depth it inevitably loses its meaning. What could be meaningful about a godless temporary existence? What is so special about life if it is just some accidental phenomenon? Why care too much about anything if it is all going to end anyways? What is the point of it all without a lasting higher purpose? True fulfillment is impossible as long as we hang on to this myopic world view and remain in the dark about our true spiritual identity.

4)      Lack of fairness

A game that lacks depth, mystery and meaning is boring and hardly worth playing. But when fair rules are also missing, the game of life can frustrate and embitter us to our very core. We are all born with an inherent need for fairness and, as children we remain blissfully unaware of the apparent injustices of life. Inevitably however, as we grow older all that changes. In a world with so many inequities where senseless tragedies occur every day, our need for fairness is constantly frustrated. The only way to make sense of things, and end our suffering in this area, is to focus on the big picture and view everything that happens as a necessary step on our spiritual paths.

5)      Lack of safety

As children, we feel totally safe, loved, protected, and we are unaware that our bodies are vulnerable and come with an expiration date. But our souls long for an eternal, unthreatened existence. We cannot truly relax and feel completely at ease as long as we buy into the illusion that we are just this temporary, fleeting existence. Deep down, we long for much more than that and our true, eternal spiritual nature must be embraced to find true, lasting happiness.

So there you have it, the five common causes of suffering. The beliefs and ideas that cause these insecurities are not present during the first few years of our lives, and so we don’t experience any non-physical suffering. We can all return to that permanently blissful place that is our rightful home simply by replacing all these negative, false beliefs with the magnificent truth of who we really are. We are absolutely innocent, unquestionably worthy, eternal and unlimited spiritual beings on a journey of awakening, and everything that ever happens contributes to this global awakening to who we really are.

Knowing that we share the same 5 causes of suffering is a crucial step to understanding and embracing our behavior and finding unconditional acceptance for ourselves and others. My internationally bestselling book, The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence, leads you on a step-by-step healing path to discovering that the harmony you seek is already present and need only be recognized. Click here to receive great bonus gifts to go along with your purchase.

Like this blog?

Then please subscribe using the form at the upper right side of this page, so you can receive each new article straight to your inbox.

Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

Daniel Parmeggiani

9th June 2014

The post The Five Causes of Suffering appeared first on Magnificient Truth.

Best-selling author Daniel Parmeggiani explores the connection between harmony and happiness and asks, “What is harmony and how can we find it in our lives?”

My last few blog posts have examined the universal need for happiness. But what exactly causes this elusive state of mind that we all long for? The answer is harmony, and in today’s post, we’ll try to figure out just what harmony is and why it equals happiness.

Harmony is when all parts of a whole are in sync, in balance, and working together towards a common, beneficial goal. It is a condition where nothing is wrong or missing, and everything is just as it should be. Be it in music, nature, or the movements of the planets, when this harmonious state exists, the result is pleasure, happiness, love, and peace. When disharmony is present instead, the automatic result is pain and suffering.

When we look at the physical body, we can easily see this at work. When we feel physical pain, it is always because the body perceives that something is wrong or missing. Maybe it needs vitamins, nutrients, or rest. Perhaps it senses some sort of injury or disease. In any case, pain signals the presence of disharmony.

Now imagine what it would feel like to have absolutely no physical pain. Visualize a state where you feel no aches, pains, discomforts, or fatigue whatsoever. You would also have endless energy and stamina. Such an exhilarating feeling represents a state of complete physical harmony, a state where all the cells are healthy, working well in unison, and nothing is perceived by the body as wrong or lacking.

Similarly, all psychological and spiritual pain results from believing that, in one way or another, there are things wrong or lacking in ourselves or in our lives. It’s really very simple:

We suffer when we perceive ourselves as flawed, incomplete and unworthy beings.

So what would happen if we removed these negative beliefs about ourselves? How would we feel if we stopped believing that there was something inherently wrong with us? To find this out, all we need to do is find people who don’t think there’s anything wrong with them and ask them how they feel. But before you head off to the Himalayas in a wild search for such people, let me give you a hint: they are very plentiful, and they are all around us. Yes, I’m talking about our small children, who still haven’t learned to doubt themselves and who are still unaware of even the possibility that there could be anything wrong with them. They sense no disharmony in their existence, and the automatic result is they are naturally happy, joyful, open, free, and untroubled.

All suffering disappears once we no longer believe there is anything wrong or missing. The moment we realize that nothing is ever a mistake and that “all things are exactly the way they should be,” all emotional pain vanishes, replaced by total relief and inner peace. That moment, when we finally free our minds of all negative beliefs and just embrace everything as it is, without any judgment or condemnation, that moment is called enlightenment, and with it comes the Inner Heaven we all seek.

Understanding that all we really want is to find harmony and happiness in our lives is an important step in the path to non-judgment, compassion and true forgiveness. My internationally bestselling book, The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence, leads you on a step-by-step healing path to discovering that the harmony you seek is already present and need only be recognized. Click here to receive great bonus gifts to go along with your purchase.

Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love, and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

Like this blog?

Then please subscribe using the form at the upper right side of this page, so you can receive each new article straight to your inbox.

Daniel Parmeggiani

2nd June 2014

The post The Relationship between Harmony and Happiness appeared first on Magnificient Truth.

Bestselling author Daniel Parmeggiani discusses how self destructive behaviors tally with our primary motivation to gain pleasure (and avoid pain) from life.

Becoming deeply aware that we all function in the same way and are all motivated by exactly the same desired outcome is the first step to awakening to who we really are.  Two weeks ago, we saw how we are all equally motivated only by our own pain and pleasure even when we sacrifice ourselves for others. Then last week, we talked about the 4 questions we always ask when we make any decision:

What would be least painful?
What would be most pleasurable?
Does the immediate pleasure justify any potential future pain?
Does the potential reward of future pleasure justify any immediate pain?

This week, we’ll see how this basic information about what truly drives us can help us make sense out of some of our strangest and most self-destructive behaviors. By understanding these behaviors, we can then embrace them and forgive them.

Self-defeating behaviors

The constant drive towards pleasure and away from pain can be easily recognized when we observe animals in nature. When lions are hungry, they eat; when they are in heat, they mate; when they see fire, they flee; and when they feel tired, they sleep. When we observe humans though, we sometimes witness some odd, self-defeating, and even self-destructive behaviors that, on the surface, seem to defy explanation. But when we break them down into their pain and pleasure components, all our bizarre actions suddenly make perfect sense:

Self-sabotage

We all have them: those relatives or acquaintances that frustrate the hell out of us because of their self-destructive tendencies. Every single time, just as they are about to succeed at something, they screw things up. They skip the interview, sabotage a promising relationship, or otherwise seem to never finish what they start. We know they have great potential, but it seems as if they do not want to be happy. They would rather remain stuck instead of trying to get ahead. What could be motivating them to act like this?

The answers to this mystery can be found in any basic psychology textbook, and all the explanations readily translate into the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain. If we look up the reasons why people sometimes sabotage their own lives, we learn that it can be due to fear of disappointment. They would rather fail now when the stakes are low, than later, having invested more time, energy, and emotion. People can also self-sabotage as a way to earn other people’s pity or anger. In this way, they receive some form of attention, which can be better than no attention at all.

Next time the black sheep in your family does something ridiculous to screw their life up, look closely and you will see the fear and low self-esteem that is showing them no other way to avoid feeling even worse. Does this behavior make more sense to you now? Can you still find fault in him or her? Would you not do the same if you had the same state of awareness?

Self-mutilation

What about self-mutilators? How does someone who cuts himself or pulls out her own hair benefit at all?

One day, as I watched a television show detailing the lives of prison inmates, I was shocked to learn that a high percentage of them had to be kept in isolation, without any objects they could possibly use to harm themselves. When they were interviewed, however, this strange behavior suddenly became very understandable.

Some of them hurt themselves physically because they felt they deserved it, and in this way, they eased their guilty conscience. More often, though, what drove the prisoners to perform these apparently senseless acts was the need for attention. When they hurt themselves, they were cared for and counseled, and in this way, their lives gained a semblance of importance. They felt a sense of connection with their counselors and this eased their pain of loneliness.

Depression 

Depression is sadness and lack of motivation born out of discouraging past experiences and failures. However, even when we are depressed, we never cease striving to feel better. In the throes of depression our goal becomes mostly the avoidance of pain. Having lost hope for the joys of success, growth, and accomplishment, we focus instead on avoiding the pain of more failure. When we stop believing in ourselves, it feels safer to stay inside our shell than to venture out again and risk more heartbreak.

When we become severely depressed, we may lose all hope that any road leads to ‘destination happiness’ and we refuse all rides to avoid yet another disappointment. We may confine ourselves inside a dark apartment and never see the light of day. We may reach a point where we never get out of bed and do nothing but eat and sleep and wait for the eviction notice to arrive. Even then, however, we only want to feel better, but we cannot see the path at all.

Suicide

The ultimate form of self-destructive behavior is suicide, but even those who contemplate such an act still only want to feel as good as possible. During some of my worst moments growing up, I remember looking down from our sixteenth floor balcony and feeling very tempted to end it all. My inner torment felt so painful and my situation seemed so hopeless that I wondered if not existing at all was the only way to end my suffering. Each time, however, the same thought stopped me: What if death is not the end of me? I desperately wanted to stop experiencing those terrible feelings, but I was not sure if jumping out of a building would accomplish that or make things even worse.

The bottom line is there is always a perceived payoff in terms of decreased pain and/or increased pleasure in everything we do. Even our most bizarre behaviors are always attempts to improve how we feel. Notice how all of these self-damaging behaviors fall into the same “Question 1” scenario (What would be least painful?). The universal need to find relief from pain and suffering lies behind our most destructive tendencies. So the next time you witness some inexplicable behaviors in others, consider that they simply can’t see a better way to relieve their suffering. What drives them is the same need that drives you. The only difference between any of us is our understanding of what it takes to find the lasting happiness we all truly long for.

Becoming deeply aware that we all function in the same way and are motivated by exactly the same desired outcome is the first step in the path to non-judgment, compassion and true forgiveness. My internationally bestselling book, The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence, leads you on a step-by-step healing path to discovering your own absolute innocence and finding real self-forgiveness and self-love. Click here to receive great bonus gifts to go along with your purchase.

Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love, and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

Like this blog?

Then please subscribe using the form at the upper right side of this page, so you can receive each new article straight to your inbox.

Daniel Parmeggiani

23rd May, 2014

The post The Reason we are Self-Destructive appeared first on Magnificient Truth.

Author Daniel Parmeggiani describes how we make all our decisions based on 4 questions designed to test the potential for pain and pleasure of each possible option.

Our spiritual journey is our gradual awakening to who we really are. A big part of this awakening is becoming aware of what we really want and what truly drives all our actions and decisions. In last week’s post, we saw that we are constantly seeking to improve how we feel. We saw that even when we sacrifice ourselves for others, our goal is always to maximize our own well-being. That means that we are always seeking out the optimal combination of least amount of pain and most amount of pleasure every moment of our lives.

This week, we will delve a little deeper into our own inner workings by looking at what goes on inside our minds before we arrive at any decision.

In a process that is often unconscious and automatic, before we make any choice we test our available options against one or more of these four possible questions:

What would be least painful?  Should I leave him and feel lonely and insecure or should I just continue to put up with the abuse? Should I pluck or wax? To be or not to be? Should I donate to this charity?
What would be most pleasurable? Which of the thirty-one flavors of ice cream do I feel like today? Where do we want to go on vacation? Who do I want to go out with? Should I donate to this charity?
Does the immediate pleasure justify the potential future pain? Should I hit the snooze button again and blow off my morning workout? Should I have that extra slice of pizza? Should I donate to this charity?
Does the potential reward of future pleasure justify the immediate pain? Is it worth having that plastic surgery procedure? Should I quit smoking? Should I donate to this charity?

No, that was not a typo. I placed the same question, “Should I donate to this charity?” in all four categories to make the point that, although we all interpret problems and situations differently, we always look for the most rewarding solution in terms of pain and pleasure.

Some people cringe whenever they are approached by somebody requesting donations. They perceive it as a Question 1 situation, and if there is not enough time to turn out all the lights and act like nobody’s home, they will reluctantly answer the doorbell and look for the least painful way out.

For others, their question may be, “Which charity would benefit most from my donation?” In this case, by helping the most worthy cause, they seek to maximize their sense of contribution, a form of pleasure (Question 2).

There may also be those who enjoy the act of giving but distrust charitable organizations in general. They may wonder, “Am I going to regret having given away this money when, one day, I find out that this organization is corrupt like so many others?” Here, the immediate pleasure of giving is being measured against potential future pain (Question 3).

Finally, there are people who hate to part with their money but at the same time imagine that God or destiny may reward them someday for their sacrifice (Question 4).

Four different interpretations, and yet, the unspoken underlying question remains the same: Which option will bring me the most pleasure and/or the least amount of pain?

If you look closely at your own experience, you will be able to verify for yourself that this is exactly how you always operate, without exception. To test this, see if you can come up with any other questions you ask yourself when making a decision. Invariably, you will find that any possible question you come up with boils down into one of the above four questions. This is how we all function, and the more you become aware of this, the more you are able to understand and forgive your own and other people’s misguided actions and decisions. We all share the same common goal, the same ultimate destination. We are all climbing the same mountain, trying to reach the top with every step we ever take. The only difference between us is our understanding of what it takes to get there.

Becoming deeply aware that we all function in the same way and are motivated by exactly the same desired outcome is the first step in the path to non-judgment, compassion and true forgiveness. My Internationally Bestselling book, The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence, leads you on a step-by-step healing path to discovering your own absolute innocence and finding real self-forgiveness and self-love. Click here to receive great bonus gifts to go along with your purchase.

What do you think about the four questions? Can you think of anything else we ask ourselves before making a decision? Leave your comments below!

Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love, and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

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Daniel Parmeggiani

1 6th May, 2014

The post The Four Questions We Always Ask Before We Do Anything appeared first on Magnificient Truth.

Author Daniel Parmeggiani explains why it is the universal pleasure-seeking that makes us all equally human and equally deserving of love.

 

It may seem to us that different people are motivated by different things. But in reality, we are all motivated by exactly the same thing. We all want to experience more pleasure and less pain. That’s it. End of story. We are all constantly seeking to improve how we feel, to maximize our well-being – and that means more pleasure and less pain.

Right now, I’m sure your mind must be pretty busy trying to come up with exceptions to this. However, there are no exceptions to this rule. Even masochists always choose pleasure over pain. In fact, Microsoft Encarta College Dictionary describes masochism as:

“The tendency to invite and enjoy misery of any kind, especially in order to be pitied by others or perhaps admired for forbearance.”

The key word here is enjoy. The masochist gets psychological pleasure from physical pain, and although this may appear to be an unusual way to create a state of well-being, it is clearly not an exception to the rule. The example of masochism does point out the fact that emotions can be far more intense than physical sensations.

Even when we sacrifice ourselves for others, we are still doing what we believe makes the most sense in terms of pain and pleasure for ourselves. We help others only when we believe that doing so will either make us feel better or will prevent us from feeling worse. At this point, somebody might object, saying, “Last weekend I helped a friend move to a new house even though there were plenty of more pleasurable things I could have done with my time. How do you explain that?”

Well, there are many forms of pain and pleasure that enter into our decisions. Helping somebody move is rarely a pleasurable proposition, but it might be the least painful way out if the possibility of damaging the friendship and/or the weight of a guilty conscience also hang in the balance. The situation can even produce hidden rewards. You might receive pleasure simply from feeling useful and knowing your help was appreciated. You may also feel proud that you were there for your friend in a time of need, and your self-regard may get a boost from knowing that you did the right thing by pitching in for a friend.

Even Mother Teresa sacrificed herself for the sick and destitute in India because her own feelings were on the line. It gave her pleasure to help others, and if this had not been the case, she would not have been motivated to do it. Through her bravery and dedication, she was either increasing her happiness and/or easing her pain, and if becoming a Wall Street hedge fund manager would have felt more uplifting and rewarding to her, she would have pursued that instead.

Even when we sacrifice our time and energy to provide for our children, to help our neighbors, or to save the polar bears, at the deepest level our interest lies in our own well-being. But why is this significant? This fact about our true nature brings to light our equality and places us all on the same playing field. This truth is the reason why no one is better or worse than anybody else. Deep down, we are all seeking the same thing, the same “Inner Heaven” where there is no pain or suffering and only inner peace, love, and happiness reign. Rather than demeaning us, this insight uplifts us all to the same level as our most revered spiritual icons. In fact, Krishna, Buddha, Jesus, and any other enlightened beings from the past were no different from any of us except for how they pursued their own happiness. Their desired destination was the same as ours, they just happened to know the way.

Understanding what truly drives all of us at the deepest level is what makes non-judgment, compassion, unconditional love, and real forgiveness possible. My International Bestselling book, The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence, leads you step-by-step on a healing path to self-forgiveness and unconditional self-love. Click here and receive great bonus gifts to go along with your purchase.

What do you think about pain and pleasure? Leave your comments below!

Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love, and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

Like this blog?

Then please subscribe using the form at the upper right side of this page, so you can receive each new article straight to your inbox.

Daniel Parmeggiani

8th May, 2014

The post Pain and Pleasure: The driving force behind everything we do appeared first on Magnificient Truth.

Author Daniel Parmeggiani explores the nature of true forgiveness and asks whether we are all truly innocent.

 

Forgiveness is a central theme in all spiritual traditions. According to A Course in Miracles, “Forgiveness is the only sane response in any situation.”Likewise, spiritual teachers from Jesus to Yogananda to the Dalai Lama have taught us that forgiveness and non-judgment are the way to lasting peace and real love.

And yet we do not seem to get it.

Although the goal has been made abundantly clear to us, we cannot make any sense out of loving our enemies across a courtroom, or of turning the other cheek after someone nails us with a left hook. Before we forgive, we demand fairness, an eye for an eye, a molar for a molar. We expect those who wronged us to offer their sincere apology and to make amends before we begin to even consider pardoning them. We also need to be sure they have admitted their guilt and have sufficiently agonized over what they have done to us. Furthermore, we demand proof that they have changed their ways so we can be sure they will never wrong us again. Only then are we capable of heartfelt forgiveness. And there are offenses that we never seem to forgive.

The same strict conditions (or worse) usually apply when it comes to ourselves. Before we can forgive ourselves for any error we may have committed, we need to feel that we have done sufficient hard time. Have we paid the price for our mistakes? Have we made up for them in full? Are we capable of repeating them? We may even see ourselves as deserving of perpetual self-punishment for some of our past errors and offenses, creating for ourselves a mental hell that never ends.

So how can we practice true, heartfelt forgiveness?

The key to real, heartfelt and effortless forgiveness is the realization that judgment was never justified in the first place. In essence, the answer is simply to stop judging. Period. And when we stop judging, forgiveness becomes obsolete, for what is there to forgive if one never judges?

So then, the next question becomes, how can we stop judging everything and everybody?

Thankfully, there’s a key for this as well. The key to non-judgment, and therefore complete and effortless forgiveness, is to view everybody as absolutely innocent. Clearly, if we are all always innocent, then we are never guilty and never deserve judgment. Consequently, the awareness of our absolute innocence is a magical shift in perception where we no longer feel the need to constantly assign blame.

The awareness of our innocence means seeing someone commit a mean or selfish act and realizing that he or she couldn’t have done otherwise at the time. It is knowing that if you truly were in his or her shoes you would have acted the same (by being in his or her shoes I mean having the same past experiences, perception of reality, and state of awareness that they had at the time). It is the certainty that we are all equal, and there is no difference in quality between any two human beings.

This finally leads us to the question that everything hangs on: Are we really all innocent as I am claiming? The answer is yes, and the reason is that our deepest motivation that lies behind everything we do is always pure. Deep down, we all equally share the same uplifting, unifying, and divine will to aspire to harmony, peace, and love. We are all after the same thing in the end; we all share the same ultimate goal, and we are all always doing the best we can with what we know to get closer to our destination. Jesus, Krishna, Buddha, their desired destination was the same as ours; they just happened to know the way. So, if in darkness we could not see, it is ignorance we should blame, if we are to blame at all.

Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love, and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

Understanding the basis of our innocence is what makes non-judgment and, by extension, real forgiveness possible. I invite you to learn more about this and other crucial subjects on April 29th 2014, when my book The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence becomes available. The book is now available for pre-order at a specially discounted rate of 20% off for a limited time. Please click the link on the right side of this article and your copy will be mailed to you on 29th April 2014.

What do you think about real forgiveness? Leave your comments below!

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Then please subscribe using the form at the upper right side of this page, so you can receive each new article straight to your inbox.

Daniel Parmeggiani

10th April 2014

The post The Key to Real Forgiveness appeared first on Magnificient Truth.