Author Daniel Parmeggiani explains why it is the universal pleasure-seeking that makes us all equally human and equally deserving of love.

It may seem to us that different people are motivated by different things. But in reality, we are all motivated by exactly the same thing. We all want to experience more pleasure and less pain. That’s it. End of story. We are all constantly seeking to improve how we feel, to maximize our well-being – and that means more pleasure and less pain.

Right now, I’m sure your mind must be pretty busy trying to come up with exceptions to this. However, there are no exceptions to this rule. Even masochists always choose pleasure over pain. In fact, Microsoft Encarta College Dictionary describes masochism as:

“The tendency to invite and enjoy misery of any kind, especially in order to be pitied by others or perhaps admired for forbearance.”

The key word here is enjoy. The masochist gets psychological pleasure from physical pain, and although this may appear to be an unusual way to create a state of well-being, it is clearly not an exception to the rule. The example of masochism does point out the fact that emotions can be far more intense than physical sensations.

Even when we sacrifice ourselves for others, we are still doing what we believe makes the most sense in terms of pain and pleasure for ourselves. We help others only when we believe that doing so will either make us feel better or will prevent us from feeling worse. At this point, somebody might object, saying, “Last weekend I helped a friend move to a new house even though there were plenty of more pleasurable things I could have done with my time. How do you explain that?”

Well, there are many forms of pain and pleasure that enter into our decisions. Helping somebody move is rarely a pleasurable proposition, but it might be the least painful way out if the possibility of damaging the friendship and/or the weight of a guilty conscience also hang in the balance. The situation can even produce hidden rewards. You might receive pleasure simply from feeling useful and knowing your help was appreciated. You may also feel proud that you were there for your friend in a time of need, and your self-regard may get a boost from knowing that you did the right thing by pitching in for a friend.

Even Mother Teresa sacrificed herself for the sick and destitute in India because her own feelings were on the line. It gave her pleasure to help others, and if this had not been the case, she would not have been motivated to do it. Through her bravery and dedication, she was either increasing her happiness and/or easing her pain, and if becoming a Wall Street hedge fund manager would have felt more uplifting and rewarding to her, she would have pursued that instead.

Even when we sacrifice our time and energy to provide for our children, to help our neighbors, or to save the polar bears, at the deepest level our interest lies in our own well-being. But why is this significant? This fact about our true nature brings to light our equality and places us all on the same playing field. This truth is the reason why no one is better or worse than anybody else. Deep down, we are all seeking the same thing, the same “Inner Heaven” where there is no pain or suffering and only inner peace, love, and happiness reign. Rather than demeaning us, this insight uplifts us all to the same level as our most revered spiritual icons. In fact, Krishna, Buddha, Jesus, and any other enlightened beings from the past were no different from any of us except for how they pursued their own happiness. Their desired destination was the same as ours, they just happened to know the way.

Understanding what truly drives all of us at the deepest level is what makes non-judgment, compassion, unconditional love, and real forgiveness possible. My International Bestselling book, The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence, leads you step-by-step on a healing path to self-forgiveness and unconditional self-love. Click here and receive great bonus gifts to go along with your purchase.

What do you think about pain and pleasure? Leave your comments below!

Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love, and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

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Daniel Parmeggiani

8th May, 2014

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